My husband wants to go to Seminary

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Money is not a primary concern. We have plenty- not an exorbitant amount but enough to live very comfortably.

My primary concern at this stage is how to support my husband as he explores this. Any decision is likely a year or so away (based on when classes would begin) so we are using this time to prayer and discussion.

If you have plenty of money to buy a house in another part of the country, go without income and be fine, have all the money you need for the basics of life, and you are sure this is not just a first step in him ditching you and the kids, what exactly is the worry then?
What happened to make him feel this way? Come on, you know what caused this 360 and why you are somewhat worried.

I’m worried this is a big decision for someone relatively new to a relationship with Christ and religion. We have not engaged in much formal or group bible study (due largely in part to Covid) and I am concerned that he is jumping into seminary as a means to explore that before further exhausting our options for a meaningful life of service to God and the Church outside of a degree program.

It sounds like you may have prayed that your husband would grow closer to God and your religion, but didn't consider that he'd want to take it to the lengths of uprooting the family, going to seminary and becoming a priest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, I trust you folks are Episcopal, etc., not RC.

Second, the primary duty of a married man is as a husband and father. No authentic call to ministry can compromise or endanger those relationships and the duties they involve. 1 Timothy 3:1-13 provides insight on this. This does not mean an authentic call will never impose any burden on the rest of the family. It does, however, suggest that the burden is on the one seeking ordination to do so without managing his affairs so that his family is properly taken care of and their domestic relations are not impaired.

There are married RC Catholic Priests.

There are no married RC priests who were not previously Protestant. A married man baptized in the Latin Rite cannot become a priest absent a change in the law or a Papal dispensation that simply is not happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has recently (last 3 or so years) discovered a relationship with God and has since felt a deep restlessness in his life. He recently started talking about feeling called to seminary, though not to become a priest necessarily. I’m wondering if anyone has any suggestions on reading I can do to best support him in this journey. He has been meeting with our priest and our priest mentioned to him that he feels my husband is being called. I’m praying for discernment and guidance and feeling....nothing.

We have a wonderful life and I’m feeling a lot of unease at the idea. We have two young children and would potentially be moving for seminary and the idea of uprooting them is central to my unease. However, I am also a Christian and believe that God will lead us where he wants us to be, but I’m not sure to how to support my husband as he discerns these feelings. Any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated.

I figure your priest feels your husband is being called for some possibly overlapping reasons:

1. He knows your family is well off enough to bear the cost of seminary.

2. He knows that seminaries are desperate for students.

3. He truly thinks your husband has a calling

Protestant seminaries are not “desperate for students.” Indeed, many denominations have a surplus of “supply” clergy. Can’t speak to the Orthodox but I doubt they’re gleaning far and wide to fill the ranks either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Money is not a primary concern. We have plenty- not an exorbitant amount but enough to live very comfortably.

My primary concern at this stage is how to support my husband as he explores this. Any decision is likely a year or so away (based on when classes would begin) so we are using this time to prayer and discussion.

If you have plenty of money to buy a house in another part of the country, go without income and be fine, have all the money you need for the basics of life, and you are sure this is not just a first step in him ditching you and the kids, what exactly is the worry then?
What happened to make him feel this way? Come on, you know what caused this 360 and why you are somewhat worried.

I’m worried this is a big decision for someone relatively new to a relationship with Christ and religion. We have not engaged in much formal or group bible study (due largely in part to Covid) and I am concerned that he is jumping into seminary as a means to explore that before further exhausting our options for a meaningful life of service to God and the Church outside of a degree program.

Have you told him this? Because it is a legitimate concern and a wise bit of discernment in itself. Priesthood rarely shows up as a flash of lightning (a la St. Paul). Most often it grows out of a prior active relationship with God and the Church, typically in various forms of lay service.

[Anonymous]

What kind of advising priest would tell a person who feels they got the call that they are wrong?
I am suspicious of UMC men who decide to serve God all of a sudden.
Pp is right, a mid-life crisis with a twist!
And OP clearly knows what caused this, usually some loss triggers such devotion to God.
My aunt lost her son at 29, shot in the back, even prior she became religious, mind you raised in a communist country and was baptized at 48!
A few years later she lost her DH, he was not old but had a fatty liver and fell on his head while in the hospital.
She refuses to get vaccinated BCS God will take care of her. Given that much of the clergy in my country died BCS of attending mass funerals for other priests who died from Covid. I am wondering how come God didn't protect them?
My mom got vaccinated and my aunt is thinking about joining a monastery!

[Anonymous]

What is your DH avoiding? This is a typical avoidance behavior. He is avoiding dealing with something. Hence, joining the seminary will not help, unless someone makes him confront the issue that caused him this crisis.
You can be a man of God and not uproot your family. You can serve and still do what is best for your family.
I got a master's degree at 50. I did not up and go to another state or uproot my family. I enrolled in grad school in MD and managed my family duties and my studies. Life is never all or nothing.
Unless you are a UMC guy who thinks only of himself!
Calling to God to do what is best for his own self? I think not!
If a woman was doing this she would be ripped apart on dcum, torn to shreds for being selfish!

[Anonymous]

Clergy serves the people. Does your DH understand that? Or is he into monastic devotion to God? If he is, that means he will dump you and the kids pretty soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he’s not seeking the comfort of the seminary for other, unholy purposes? Is there any suspicion that it could to establish proximity to other similarly confused male truth seekers?

LOL not all religious men are closeted gays. Good grief life isn’t an HBO show

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has recently (last 3 or so years) discovered a relationship with God and has since felt a deep restlessness in his life. He recently started talking about feeling called to seminary, though not to become a priest necessarily. I’m wondering if anyone has any suggestions on reading I can do to best support him in this journey. He has been meeting with our priest and our priest mentioned to him that he feels my husband is being called. I’m praying for discernment and guidance and feeling....nothing.

We have a wonderful life and I’m feeling a lot of unease at the idea. We have two young children and would potentially be moving for seminary and the idea of uprooting them is central to my unease. However, I am also a Christian and believe that God will lead us where he wants us to be, but I’m not sure to how to support my husband as he discerns these feelings. Any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated.

I figure your priest feels your husband is being called for some possibly overlapping reasons:

1. He knows your family is well off enough to bear the cost of seminary.

2. He knows that seminaries are desperate for students.

3. He truly thinks your husband has a calling

Protestant seminaries are not “desperate for students.” Indeed, many denominations have a surplus of “supply” clergy. Can’t speak to the Orthodox but I doubt they’re gleaning far and wide to fill the ranks either.

You're making the case that seminary enrollment is down. The reason that denominations have supply clergy is that seminary graduates can't find jobs. Parish clergy is simply not a growth industry. .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he’s not seeking the comfort of the seminary for other, unholy purposes? Is there any suspicion that it could to establish proximity to other similarly confused male truth seekers?

LOL not all religious men are closeted gays. Good grief life isn’t an HBO show

I’ve seen the draw of the flesh and I know men. the priest is reaching out to him? I’ve done and seen things that would make a grown man cry. I fear your husband is indeed straying from the path of righteousness, and only the penitent man may pass. he may be enraptured in ways that are deeply pleasuring yet full of intrigue.

[Anonymous]

OP, my DH has a MDiv from a United Methodist-affiliated seminary in another part of the country. He is appointed by his bishop to work at a DC social service organization. Here in DC, we know a lot of people with degrees from Wesley Seminary, located next to American University. I just want to say it is possible to get a degree from a seminary and have a happy life.

Sounds like you and your husband are facing lots of new questions and possibilities. I wish you all the best as you work your way through them.

[Anonymous]

OP here again

Thanks all. To be clear- I don’t believe my husband wants to be a priest. He’s said that in so many words several times. My concern is that we are going from new believer to “I need to spend 3 years getting an MDiv” fairly quickly and I will continue to pray for his, and my, discernment on this.

In the last few years he has found the reality of God, Jesus and the Church and I believe is looking for ways to explore that feeling more and gain a deeper understanding of who God is. DH was raised in a Protestant church, and following the loss of his parents fairly young did not believe in God for many years.

I believe we are coming to this with good intentions and I am appreciative of those who have responded with practical advice and prayer suggestions. It’s truly appreciated.
I don’t think our priest has nefarious intentions, or that he secretly works for seminary admissions, in counseling DH on the possibility of seminary.

I am surprised this needs to be said, but I don’t believe my husband is gay, or is looking for a way to leave me and our children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again

Thanks all. To be clear- I don’t believe my husband wants to be a priest. He’s said that in so many words several times. My concern is that we are going from new believer to “I need to spend 3 years getting an MDiv” fairly quickly and I will continue to pray for his, and my, discernment on this.

In the last few years he has found the reality of God, Jesus and the Church and I believe is looking for ways to explore that feeling more and gain a deeper understanding of who God is. DH was raised in a Protestant church, and following the loss of his parents fairly young did not believe in God for many years.

I believe we are coming to this with good intentions and I am appreciative of those who have responded with practical advice and prayer suggestions. It’s truly appreciated.
I don’t think our priest has nefarious intentions, or that he secretly works for seminary admissions, in counseling DH on the possibility of seminary.

I am surprised this needs to be said, but I don’t believe my husband is gay, or is looking for a way to leave me and our children.

Would he be OK with intense Bible courses maybe a church or school has semester worth of classes for him. It wouldn't be a long term commitment and he learns.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you please clarify for us if you are talking Roman Catholic or Episcopal or something else? It makes a difference

[Anonymous]

OP here

We are Episcopalian