Does Sidwell Friends have the feel of a Quaker School

Anonymous
Hello all,
I'm just starting to research Independent Schools for my son to attend.

I grew up in a smaller city and the Independent School my parents' progressive friends sent their kids to was the local Friends School. Also, I was a counselor at a Quaker summer camp and loved the working environment, ethic, and view of the children as needing guidance but worthy of respect.

As I start to make a list of schools we want to consider, I'd like to include a Quaker school or two.
Sidwell Friends is the closest by far to our home.

My question is: is Sidwell Friends really a Quaker school in its feel and ethic? Or is it something different because it has so much prestige and is very well known.
Anonymous
I don't know what a Quaker school is supposed to feel like, but Sidwell is intense and competitive. Students (at least in the high school, I don't know about the lower grades) are expected to achieve at high levels and be excellent at everything.
Anonymous
I think Sandy Spring Friends School may be closer to what you experienced in your past contacts with Quakerism.

I do see Quaker influences at Sidwell in terms of service (requirements for students and many opportunities to give to the broader community) and also in decision making of administration (in terms of consensus mode). But to be honest (not in a negative way) I don't see the service component being any different than our other child's school in terms out outcomes (also no different than other area high schools our child's peers attend.). It's also not necessarily a plus that administration operates in full consensus mode.

I am sure there will be many who want to bash whether Sidwell is truly Quaker. I think the US is intense but it's a good match for our child.
Anonymous
Based on what you describe, Sandy Spring Friends School sounds like more of what you're looking for, assuming it works geographically.

SFS is Quaker in name and tradition, but the "feel" of the school (especially upper school) is that of a competitive prep school.

For non-Quaker schools that have the vibe you're looking for, some of the K-8 progressives might be a decent fit as well (Green Acres; Lowell).
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don't know what a Quaker school is supposed to feel like, but Sidwell is intense and competitive. Students (at least in the high school, I don't know about the lower grades) are expected to achieve at high levels and be excellent at everything.


This is a bit of a stretch. I have and have had DCs in the high school who were far from "excellent at everything." And they both loved/ love the school. In my experience, there is a broad mix of kids there. Definitely some high flyers who are pushed more by their parents, but plenty of normal/ average kids who are good at some things and not so great at others.

OP, I don't have the background that you do so I don't know what a Quaker school is supposed to feel like, nor do I have a comparison to other Quakers. But yes, IMO, the Quaker values are alive and well at Sidwell.
Anonymous
It did for Pk-8 but not as much for upper school. IMO and my child’s.
Not a big deal to us but given the demands of upper school and the big intake of new students, it just diluted the Quaker angle.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It did for Pk-8 but not as much for upper school. IMO and my child’s.
Not a big deal to us but given the demands of upper school and the big intake of new students, it just diluted the Quaker angle.


I'm 11:45 above. It's interesting that you list the intake of new students here (not saying this in defensive/negative way). From our perspective the school doesn't put a lot of effort into Quaker values in this transition for kids/families that come in 9th grade. The US operates very much at arms (plus more!) reach from parents and the opportunities for new families in terms of community building are scarce. I think much of that comes from the fact that most high schools' need for parents to step back a bit (and to try to shield students from parental pressure). It also comes from the fact that existing families already have enough on their plate than to make lots of efforts bring new ones into the fold (I see this at older grades in our k-8). I don't think either of these factors come from a negative place bit I do think if the school made more of an effort, some of this could change. The PA does a really nice job in trying to bring families together and there are some parents out there more willing to make the effort than others. But most, people my child and family have met were all new in 9th grade - as others already had established relationships (and understandably so). And, in the end, HS is more about the kids finding their way, not parental connections. But it also results in a watered down experience in terms of community.
Anonymous
PP and one more note - other families we know that were new to schools like STA, Maret, GDS all say this is true as well. Not the same sense of community as the k-8 our children went to. So I think this is somewhat natural transition to HS. Not something that just happens as SFS
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't know what a Quaker school is supposed to feel like, but Sidwell is intense and competitive. Students (at least in the high school, I don't know about the lower grades) are expected to achieve at high levels and be excellent at everything.


This is a bit of a stretch. I have and have had DCs in the high school who were far from "excellent at everything." And they both loved/ love the school. In my experience, there is a broad mix of kids there. Definitely some high flyers who are pushed more by their parents, but plenty of normal/ average kids who are good at some things and not so great at others.

OP, I don't have the background that you do so I don't know what a Quaker school is supposed to feel like, nor do I have a comparison to other Quakers. But yes, IMO, the Quaker values are alive and well at Sidwell.

Are there high achieving students there who are pushed by themselves? Not all kids with impressive achievements are pushed by parents. Is this an assumption of yours or a strange trend you have actually witnessed at SFS?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:PP and one more note - other families we know that were new to schools like STA, Maret, GDS all say this is true as well. Not the same sense of community as the k-8 our children went to. So I think this is somewhat natural transition to HS. Not something that just happens as SFS

That makes sense. HS is a very different time in a kid’s life.
Anonymous
To me quaker schools are friendly and inclusive and accepting of differences. Sidwell doesnt give off that vibe.
Anonymous
That ship sailed a long time ago my friend.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't know what a Quaker school is supposed to feel like, but Sidwell is intense and competitive. Students (at least in the high school, I don't know about the lower grades) are expected to achieve at high levels and be excellent at everything.


This is a bit of a stretch. I have and have had DCs in the high school who were far from "excellent at everything." And they both loved/ love the school. In my experience, there is a broad mix of kids there. Definitely some high flyers who are pushed more by their parents, but plenty of normal/ average kids who are good at some things and not so great at others.

OP, I don't have the background that you do so I don't know what a Quaker school is supposed to feel like, nor do I have a comparison to other Quakers. But yes, IMO, the Quaker values are alive and well at Sidwell.

Are there high achieving students there who are pushed by themselves? Not all kids with impressive achievements are pushed by parents. Is this an assumption of yours or a strange trend you have actually witnessed at SFS?


Yes - my child is self driven at SFS. I think their friends are too, but these are all kids that were accepted at 9th and I'm pretty certain SFS looks for this trait in new HS students. I have no experience in the mix of this for high school students that started at SFS in LS or MS.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Based on what you describe, Sandy Spring Friends School sounds like more of what you're looking for, assuming it works geographically.

SFS is Quaker in name and tradition, but the "feel" of the school (especially upper school) is that of a competitive prep school.

For non-Quaker schools that have the vibe you're looking for, some of the K-8 progressives might be a decent fit as well (Green Acres; Lowell).


So are Penn Charter, Wilmington Friends, Germantown Friends, Friends Seminary in New York and Green Street Friends.

Schools are schools.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Are there high achieving students there who are pushed by themselves? Not all kids with impressive achievements are pushed by parents. Is this an assumption of yours or a strange trend you have actually witnessed at SFS?


The more successful kids at schools like Sidwell are self motivated. There are all types, but some kids just have the combination of drive and intellect to be successful of their own desire.
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