How to surprise my husband with a new car?

[Anonymous]

I really want to give my husband a car for his 40th. My plan is to trade in one of our cars for the make/model he wants. He's basically made this suggestion already, so I know he would be thrilled. But logistically, how do people do this? Obviously, it's a huge gift, and I want him to be able to be involved. But I want the big surprise of the car as the gift. Help me pull this off! Would a dealership let me borrow a temp car for the unveiling somehow?

[Anonymous]

You go trade in the car and buy it. Or negotiate a new car, have it all done, tell him we're going for a drive and then take him to the dealership and buy it together.

[Anonymous]

Ehhh. That’s a bad idea. Let him pick it out himself for

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

My husband did this. Don't do what he did.

He didn't trade anything in for it, just knew he planned on selling one of the vehicles after giving me the new one. I will say, it's my "dream vehicle", so he already knew what color and interior I wanted. All of the details had been discussed slowly over the course of years.

The thing is, he chose to do it around my birthday during a year that was a rocky point in our marriage. He has a history of infidelity, so I was (still am) very sensitive to any changes in routine or general shady behavior. The whole week leading up to it, he had been acting especially secretive and things weren't adding up. His plan was to go out on a date and have the vehicle parked on the street outside the restaurant. Knowing I would notice it and comment on it, he thought we'd go in and eat dinner then on the way out he would unlock it and surprise me and I'd drive us home in it. Except, he had backed out of going on several dates leading up to this one at the last minute so when he suggested a date night I didn't commit to it and didn't line up a babysitter. I figured he could do the leg work this time if he was really serious about it.

I guess his next-best plan was to just ghost me after work on a Friday. I was trying to reach him because we have small children that are used to him being home for dinner or at the least bathtime/bedtime. I'm texting and calling and nothing. I'm getting really heated because this is combined with a week of secretive behavior. Finally, after I get all of the kids tucked into bed, he answers the phone and he is at a bar with coworkers. I hear one woman he is particularly close with cackling in the background and can just imagine her drunk hanging all over him. So he tells me, "don't be mad. Just wait. I'm leaving now, on my way home."

I was SO mad. So when he pulled up with the truck and didn't get the reaction he had hoped for from me, he gets mad too. Demands an apology for questioning him. The whole thing is still a sore spot. And by the way, who do you think drove him to and from the dealership and sat with him while he did the paperwork? Overly flirtatious coworker lady that considers him her "work husband".

[Anonymous]

My parents do stuff like this and it's so weird. I promised DH that I would never buy a car without discussing with him.

I like your idea of borrowing (they call it renting) a car for the reveal. That way he gets to test drive and pick out interiors and all that, and if it's not really a good move there will be a chance to say so.

A lower budget idea would be to just rent the car for a week and that's the whole gift. I know somebody who did this with a really fancy sports car that wasn't practical to buy.

[Anonymous]

I would kill DH if he did this, and he knows it. We've joked about it. But, for some folks, it works.

My sister's husband got her the car she wanted as a surprise. But, he did a lot of research first, and haggled the price down. He drove into the garage, and told the kids to go get their mom. She was ecstatic, of course. She had always wanted that car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband did this. Don't do what he did.

He didn't trade anything in for it, just knew he planned on selling one of the vehicles after giving me the new one. I will say, it's my "dream vehicle", so he already knew what color and interior I wanted. All of the details had been discussed slowly over the course of years.

The thing is, he chose to do it around my birthday during a year that was a rocky point in our marriage. He has a history of infidelity, so I was (still am) very sensitive to any changes in routine or general shady behavior. The whole week leading up to it, he had been acting especially secretive and things weren't adding up. His plan was to go out on a date and have the vehicle parked on the street outside the restaurant. Knowing I would notice it and comment on it, he thought we'd go in and eat dinner then on the way out he would unlock it and surprise me and I'd drive us home in it. Except, he had backed out of going on several dates leading up to this one at the last minute so when he suggested a date night I didn't commit to it and didn't line up a babysitter. I figured he could do the leg work this time if he was really serious about it.

I guess his next-best plan was to just ghost me after work on a Friday. I was trying to reach him because we have small children that are used to him being home for dinner or at the least bathtime/bedtime. I'm texting and calling and nothing. I'm getting really heated because this is combined with a week of secretive behavior. Finally, after I get all of the kids tucked into bed, he answers the phone and he is at a bar with coworkers. I hear one woman he is particularly close with cackling in the background and can just imagine her drunk hanging all over him. So he tells me, "don't be mad. Just wait. I'm leaving now, on my way home."

I was SO mad. So when he pulled up with the truck and didn't get the reaction he had hoped for from me, he gets mad too. Demands an apology for questioning him. The whole thing is still a sore spot. And by the way, who do you think drove him to and from the dealership and sat with him while he did the paperwork? Overly flirtatious coworker lady that considers him her "work husband".

Way to threadjack a positive post. Wow. You just made this all about you, your cheating spouse and your dream truck. Nice job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband did this. Don't do what he did.

He didn't trade anything in for it, just knew he planned on selling one of the vehicles after giving me the new one. I will say, it's my "dream vehicle", so he already knew what color and interior I wanted. All of the details had been discussed slowly over the course of years.

The thing is, he chose to do it around my birthday during a year that was a rocky point in our marriage. He has a history of infidelity, so I was (still am) very sensitive to any changes in routine or general shady behavior. The whole week leading up to it, he had been acting especially secretive and things weren't adding up. His plan was to go out on a date and have the vehicle parked on the street outside the restaurant. Knowing I would notice it and comment on it, he thought we'd go in and eat dinner then on the way out he would unlock it and surprise me and I'd drive us home in it. Except, he had backed out of going on several dates leading up to this one at the last minute so when he suggested a date night I didn't commit to it and didn't line up a babysitter. I figured he could do the leg work this time if he was really serious about it.

I guess his next-best plan was to just ghost me after work on a Friday. I was trying to reach him because we have small children that are used to him being home for dinner or at the least bathtime/bedtime. I'm texting and calling and nothing. I'm getting really heated because this is combined with a week of secretive behavior. Finally, after I get all of the kids tucked into bed, he answers the phone and he is at a bar with coworkers. I hear one woman he is particularly close with cackling in the background and can just imagine her drunk hanging all over him. So he tells me, "don't be mad. Just wait. I'm leaving now, on my way home."

I was SO mad. So when he pulled up with the truck and didn't get the reaction he had hoped for from me, he gets mad too. Demands an apology for questioning him. The whole thing is still a sore spot. And by the way, who do you think drove him to and from the dealership and sat with him while he did the paperwork? Overly flirtatious coworker lady that considers him her "work husband".

And yet you're still married to him. How pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband did this. Don't do what he did.

He didn't trade anything in for it, just knew he planned on selling one of the vehicles after giving me the new one. I will say, it's my "dream vehicle", so he already knew what color and interior I wanted. All of the details had been discussed slowly over the course of years.

The thing is, he chose to do it around my birthday during a year that was a rocky point in our marriage. He has a history of infidelity, so I was (still am) very sensitive to any changes in routine or general shady behavior. The whole week leading up to it, he had been acting especially secretive and things weren't adding up. His plan was to go out on a date and have the vehicle parked on the street outside the restaurant. Knowing I would notice it and comment on it, he thought we'd go in and eat dinner then on the way out he would unlock it and surprise me and I'd drive us home in it. Except, he had backed out of going on several dates leading up to this one at the last minute so when he suggested a date night I didn't commit to it and didn't line up a babysitter. I figured he could do the leg work this time if he was really serious about it.

I guess his next-best plan was to just ghost me after work on a Friday. I was trying to reach him because we have small children that are used to him being home for dinner or at the least bathtime/bedtime. I'm texting and calling and nothing. I'm getting really heated because this is combined with a week of secretive behavior. Finally, after I get all of the kids tucked into bed, he answers the phone and he is at a bar with coworkers. I hear one woman he is particularly close with cackling in the background and can just imagine her drunk hanging all over him. So he tells me, "don't be mad. Just wait. I'm leaving now, on my way home."

I was SO mad. So when he pulled up with the truck and didn't get the reaction he had hoped for from me, he gets mad too. Demands an apology for questioning him. The whole thing is still a sore spot. And by the way, who do you think drove him to and from the dealership and sat with him while he did the paperwork? Overly flirtatious coworker lady that considers him her "work husband".

major major major issues here.

[Anonymous]

I would hate that surprise. Don’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Could you just say “good morning, we are going to the dealership?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would hate that surprise. Don’t do it.

Same. But I assume OP knows her DH well enough to know that he would enjoy this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This was totally my first thought.

[Anonymous]

Do you not have joint finances? If my wife bought a car without our money without discussing it I’d be pissed.