“I’m glad you finally found the time to call.”

[Anonymous]

My mother will rarely call me, but whenever I call her (which is 9/10) she will say something condescending about the lapse of time between calls. Usually it’s what I wrote as the title or “I was wondering if you were going to call.” Today, because DH got held over at work, I had a moment of free time to call, and when I worked that info into the conversation (my mistake!) I got, in a condescending tone, “I figured there must be a reason you’d be calling at this time.”

Always something.

I’m the past I’ve tried “the phone works both ways” type responses, but her comments continue. I don’t know why I let it bother me; I know it says more about her than me. Ignore, or is there something else I can try?

[Anonymous]

My mom is the same way, if I don’t call her for a few days (and by a few I mean 3-4 days). She’ll say something like, “Oh it’s nice to hear from you.”

She’ll never call me.

It’s very weird.

[Anonymous]

Is your relationship overall good, or even OK? If it's OK, continue to use the "you're welcome to call any time" type of line, and keep it moving. I'd even throw in a "nope, the guilt trip didn't work today!"

[Anonymous]

Yeah my mom does the same thing. It used to annoy me. Now I just ignore it.

[Anonymous]

"OK, I think I'm done here. Stop sounding so condescending and rude."

[Anonymous]

My mother is the same, and after awhile I just... stopped calling her. Now it’s birthdays and major holidays, and I don’t feel guilty. The phone really does work both ways, and I am still waiting for her to call...

[Anonymous]

My mother does it and her excuse about not calling me is “I don’t want to bother you if you’re busy.” Well, then respect that I’m freaking busy and be grateful I used my personal time to call you, because I’d rather be curled up on the couch watching Netflix. LOL No advice, just commiseration. It’s best to just ignore the BS.

[Anonymous]

Ha I don’t know but as a mother of young kids at home during a pandemic, I now feel good about calling my mom once a week for about 30 mins for a stilting conversation. She was a good mom to me when I was young. It’s the most I can handle now though.

[Anonymous]

I was just taking about this with a friend. With working remotely and managing virtual learning x2, there is NO time to call during the week, and then I feel so guilty when I call in the weekend and she’s annoyed I didn’t call all week, but she doesn’t call me unless she needs something and even when I call the conversation is only about her...sigh. But my husband lost his mother before we were married so I guess I should be happy to even have her to complain about.

[Anonymous]

Huh, wow, thanks for starting this thread, OP. I used to feel like the only one.

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness me too! My mind will say “oh my goodness are you okay? I just hadn’t heard from you in so long, I was worried!”

Come in mom, how worried can you be if you don’t even text?

[Anonymous]

Next time open with "well I guess since you didn't call me again, I broke down and called you"

[Anonymous]

My mother in law is the same way. If it was my own mom, I would’ve already snapped. Because it’s the MIL, I feel like O just have to bear it and try not snap.

[Anonymous]

I got "oh, how lucky to get a glimpse of you" when I stopped by to pick up something I have stored at her house the other day. She is local to us and very bitter that we actual observe covid mask protocols and only seeing her outside. That said, we do something with her at least once a week as long as the weather isn't truly epically bad, and my kids call her EVERY NIGHT.

So just to say that you won't win. Let it go (I literally hear the Frozen song in my head when I deal with her.)

[Anonymous]

So annoying! My mom doesn't do this, but my dad never calls me and then his wife lays on the guilt trip. I hate it.

I'd call it out because it needs to stop.