When/how did you decide on permanent birth control?

[Anonymous]

We have a 2.5yo and just had our second 8 days ago. I realize these decisions don't need to me made immediately, but my OB is going to bring it up at my post partum appt anyway. We always said we'd have 2-3 kids. My first pregnancy was rough with HG all 39 weeks then diagnosed with preecclampsia at 39 weeks and was induced (didn't feel like a big deal at the time). This pregnancy also brought on HG the whole time, but the preecclampsia started earlier at 30 weeks followed by a cholestasis diagnosis as 31 weeks. I was so incredibly sick, in and out of the hospital 8x over the last 6 weeks and ended up giving birth at 36 weeks. I now have post partum preecclampsia as well.

I swore up and down I would NEVER put my body through this again. My OB has suggested any subsequent pregnancies will likely have the same issues with even earlier onsets. DH is basically putting the ball in my court and is open to getting a vasectomy. He had an extremely hard time seeing me so sick and feeling helpless. The thing is we are only 30yo and now I'm head over heels for my newborn and hesitant to do anything permanent.

When did you know you were done for good and did you seek out permanent birth control?

[Anonymous]

In your shoes I'd take DH up on the vasectomy, but if you're not ready to make that call yet you can get an IUD and decide later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In your shoes I'd take DH up on the vasectomy, but if you're not ready to make that call yet you can get an IUD and decide later.

+1

[Anonymous]

Have you consulted a doctor about it? My first pregnancy, I had preeclampsia and postpartum HELLP. It was a terrifying nightmare and my son was a preemie and spent months in the NICU. I also swore I would never get pregnant again, but I consulted my doctor who told me the risks were relatively low. My second pregnancy was totally normal which was fortunate, but I was 38 and figured the risks for any issues would only increase with age, so I had a tubal ligation and counted my blessings with my healthy body and two healthy babies. Since you've had pre-e twice, I would assume you're going to have it a third time. That would be a hard no for me. There is a real possibility for long term damage to your body, premature delivery, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you consulted a doctor about it? My first pregnancy, I had preeclampsia and postpartum HELLP. It was a terrifying nightmare and my son was a preemie and spent months in the NICU. I also swore I would never get pregnant again, but I consulted my doctor who told me the risks were relatively low. My second pregnancy was totally normal which was fortunate, but I was 38 and figured the risks for any issues would only increase with age, so I had a tubal ligation and counted my blessings with my healthy body and two healthy babies. Since you've had pre-e twice, I would assume you're going to have it a third time. That would be a hard no for me. There is a real possibility for long term damage to your body, premature delivery, etc.

Thanks for chiming in. I appreciate hearing from someone who went through a similar nightmare.

[Anonymous]

I knew before we even started having kids when we would be finished, and DH and I agreed that since I have to carry and crank them out, he would get a vasectomy.

[Anonymous]

I’d get an IUD, heal, and decide later on methodology (not saying you’ll decide on more kids).

[Anonymous]

We also hoped to have 2-3 kids. My husband felt done when we had our second but I held out hope for a third. I got an IUD and have now had it 4.5 years. It gave me time to think more about it and see how it felt to have 2 kids. Over the last few years I have realized 2 kids are all I can handle, but I was able to come to terms with that gently over time rather than slamming the door before I was ready or having to decide under time pressure. We'll probably look into a vasectomy after the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

When ds was 1.5 I got pregnant while taking the pill. I ended up miscarrying at about 11 weeks, but it made me realize that I didn't really want another kid. DH was happy with one, would have been fine with 2 if that's what I wanted. Got the IUD but after 4 years starting having some hormonal issues so got it removed. Dh decided to get a vasectomy and it was the best decision ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a 2.5yo and just had our second 8 days ago. I realize these decisions don't need to me made immediately, but my OB is going to bring it up at my post partum appt anyway. We always said we'd have 2-3 kids. My first pregnancy was rough with HG all 39 weeks then diagnosed with preecclampsia at 39 weeks and was induced (didn't feel like a big deal at the time). This pregnancy also brought on HG the whole time, but the preecclampsia started earlier at 30 weeks followed by a cholestasis diagnosis as 31 weeks. I was so incredibly sick, in and out of the hospital 8x over the last 6 weeks and ended up giving birth at 36 weeks. I now have post partum preecclampsia as well.

I swore up and down I would NEVER put my body through this again. My OB has suggested any subsequent pregnancies will likely have the same issues with even earlier onsets. DH is basically putting the ball in my court and is open to getting a vasectomy. He had an extremely hard time seeing me so sick and feeling helpless. The thing is we are only 30yo and now I'm head over heels for my newborn and hesitant to do anything permanent.

When did you know you were done for good and did you seek out permanent birth control?

OP my DH had a vasectomy at age 30.

Very high-risk pregnancies. Very similar to yours. We took our doctor's advice and honestly for us a great decision.

This is extremely personal. I will be honest for me it wasn't a question I knew I did not want to get pregnant again. DH knew he did not want anymore either.

It was more about my body and my choice. Meaning I have always regretted having my DH have the vasectomy because I was the one that knew no more for me. He was extremely confident in his decision. He never ever regretted it. He disliked worrying about me during each pregnancy.

Every family is different.

Maybe wait a few weeks or so, use protection obviously but keep thinking how you feel.

[Anonymous]

My DH felt done after two. He is a fantastic dad and a baby whisperer. He has been very involved since the beginning of pregnancies and a remained a hands-on dad since birth and even now that both of them are teens. I think it is the responsible thing to do and stop at two.

If each pregnancy is hard on you then there is a chance that you will develop non-pregnancy related health issues later on. As a mom you should now put your health first so that you can be healthy and take care of your kids. Your husband also deserves a healthy wife who can help him in raising the children. And your children deserve a healthy mom. Being healthy is a gift. Two kids is seriously more than enough.

[Anonymous]

I had multiple miscarriages plus GD with my two term pregnancies. We were pretty sure we were done after 2 and I got a c-section so I could’ve gotten a tubal but I didn’t want to make the decision with my hormones blasting. I also didn’t want an IUD as I felt pretty done with birth control being on me. So we used condoms and when our 2nd turned 1 we knew we were done with having biological children. I hate being pregnant and I’m not sure my body likes it either. If we truly wanted another child, we’d adopt. DH offered to get a vasectomy and it has been awesome!! Zero regrets and tbh, it has resulted in a lot of liberating fun times.

[Anonymous]

I told DH when he's done he can go get a vasectomy, but I'm not going back on birth control ever again. So, balls in his court. We have two.

[Anonymous]

I had 3 high risk successful pregnancies, preceded by many losses, and the 3rd was a bit unexpected. Each had varying degrees of placental abnormalities, but was able to make it to 38-39w. I was on blood thinners, and the injections plus other infusions took it's toll on me mentally and physically. I took DH up on his offer to get snipped when I was still pregnant with DC3. His urologist said his most common vasectomy patient is the guy who comes in after getting pregnant with baby #3. It was a huge weight lifted and helped me get through the last few weeks.

With your history I am not sure I would go through that again with 2 kids at home it seems like the risk is just too high that things could be even worse the 3rd time. With all the complications you stated, it seems like you have a lot to be thankful for. Best wishes for a speedy recovery OP.

[Anonymous]

I was hemorrhaging every period. I was 38 when I first asked and 39 when they decided I seriously didn’t want more kids and there was no reason for me to be anemic and wear adult diapers 8-10 days a month for another decade.