Do you say something when partner gets you something you don't like?

[Anonymous]

Those of you who are happily in a committed relationship......do you say something when your partners gets a gift for you that you don't like?

[Anonymous]

It's only happened twice. Both times I didn't say anything. It wasn't worth the possible hurt feelings. But these were not high cost items. If dh spent a lot of money on something I didn't like I would speak up because I wouldn't want to waste the money.

[Anonymous]

No. Who gets a gift and then says, "I don't like it"?

Rude.

I have told my husband over the years that I don't care for flowers as much as other gifts because it seems like a lot of money to spend on something so short-lived. But do I say it right after he hands me a bouquet? No.

[Anonymous]

I usually ask for the receipt so I can return. I also remind him every.single.year to not buy me anything for Christmas, etc. I have everything I want. All this gifting once you are married a long time is crazy.

[Anonymous]

Early in our marriage I bought my wife a whole bunch of Christmas presents, only one of which she liked. I had spent a long time shopping for them. From then on I just ask her what she wants.

[Anonymous]

No I don't say anything. I'm just glad he is thinking of me.

[Anonymous]

No.

My xH would intentionally buy things he knew I wouldn’t like as a passive-aggressive jab at me. I didn’t say anything because it would just play into his game.

My current bf is such a sweetheart, I’d never want to hurt his feelings. I feel the same way I do with my kids - even if they get me the ugliest jewelry in the world, I’ll proudly wear it because it signifies so much more.

[Anonymous]

I wait a while (like a month or two) and then if it was important I mention it as "next time I would like something more x or less y".

[Anonymous]

No. My DH used to just get me a gift card for a spa that was not particularly convenient to get to for every birthday or holiday, which was not great. But I said thank you and just tried to find a time to get to it. Over time I would give hints and then flat-out lists to get what I wanted instead, and now I get what I want.

All this to say: it's rude to say anything other than thank you for a gift, but that doesn't mean crappy gifts are a life sentence.

[Anonymous]

When we got married, DH told me when he didn’t like a gift. I wasn’t offended because it was kind of hilarious how hard he was trying not to offend me, but he doesn’t have a poker face. So now I don’t get him gifts at all, he just buys everything he wants. He does get me ones though and he knocks it out if the park, so I’m not sure what I would do if I didn’t like them.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how much he spent. If it was over $50, I'd likely just take it back. Both he and I would rather have the money back than a wasted gift that isn't used.

[Anonymous]

Yes, once. DH has been buying me birding stuff for years, like binoculars, books, bird feed, etc. Finally one year I told him please no more birding related gifts. We have too much already and I'm not even that into it. He asked for ideas so I sent him links to some small classic gold earrings that I liked that would look good with my professional attires. He got me a pair of BIRD earrings, the kitchy kind that I would never wear in or out of a professional setting. I was so turned off that I blurted out that it was not my style, at all. He ended up returning them.

[Anonymous]

No - my DH comes from a family that likes to criticize the gifts they receive. Such an awful thing to observe when I joined their family "I already have something like this, I am not sure I will wear this, I probably won't read this, I don't need this, blah, blah, blah - killed the joy in any celebration and made shopping for them a drag.

I told DH this was going to stop with us and have taught our children that there is only one appropriate response when you receive any gift "thank you."

[Anonymous]

Yes, immediately and as kindly as possible. It's no use pretending. He does the same to me.

[Anonymous]

I have kept a few things but sometimes I have asked for the receipt so I can exchange because "I need to change the size" or "it has a small defect".