When one child refuses to play outside

[Anonymous]

Covid all around, snow all around, freezing cold.

One of the best things to do is go outside and play. I have three kids, 4, 9, 11. The older two are all about playing outside; sledding, snow forts, snowmen building. But my 4 yr old is refusing. It is super frustrating bc he is big enough that I cannot force him into a snowsuit, boots, mittens, hat, etc. if he is flat out not willing. It is too cold out to be outside not wearing appropriate gear. My older ones are fine to play outside without me, but I want to play with them too! And the big snow hill for sledding is a far walk away and they cant go there alone.

Yesterday I had to shovel the drive way and it was a disaster. Older two played in the yard happily. After a long struggle (and still no snow pants), 4 yr old stayed outside right next to the door the whole time crying- just waiting to go back in.

How can I fix this? I want to be able to do fun outdoor things with all three of my kids and I feel bad my older kids 1) don't get to play with me 2) are limited to pretty much yard play. Any ideas?

[Anonymous]

I promised hot chocolate to my middle child who didn’t want to play in the snow earlier this week. He cooperated and went outside, but he loves sweets so I kinda knew that would work. What would you 4 year old rather be doing? Can you offer a treat or special tv show if they go outside?

[Anonymous]

I would have sat the 4 year old by the door, inside, while you shoveled. No screens allowed.

As for sledding, take the other two while your spouse is at home (unless you’re a single parent?). I would only force the kid to get out during the day, but not necessarily “play” in the snow.

Maybe they have to walk up and down the street with you foe 15 minutes (but needs sneakers and not boots). Maybe his boots don’t fit? Maybe his snow suit truly is uncomfortable?

It’ll be better weather in a few weeks. Hang in there. I’m not sure this is worth the big fight. And I’m not a pushover.

[Anonymous]

I’m with your 4-year-old. I hate playing in the snow. Always have. Either you’re freezing or sweating in all that gear. Not a good time for some people.

Do you have a spouse? My compromise is you get to play outside with the kids when the spouse is around to play with the younger one inside. Divide and conquer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m with your 4-year-old. I hate playing in the snow. Always have. Either you’re freezing or sweating in all that gear. Not a good time for some people.

Do you have a spouse? My compromise is you get to play outside with the kids when the spouse is around to play with the younger one inside. Divide and conquer.

I do have a spouse, but he is an essential front line worker and never home during the day and often working on weekends too. I do have teenage babysitters near me, but is it worth it to call them over? I don't think so.

[Anonymous]

How far away is this sledding hill? Unless you need to drive to get there, why can't the older two go by themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with your 4-year-old. I hate playing in the snow. Always have. Either you’re freezing or sweating in all that gear. Not a good time for some people.

Do you have a spouse? My compromise is you get to play outside with the kids when the spouse is around to play with the younger one inside. Divide and conquer.

I do have a spouse, but he is an essential front line worker and never home during the day and often working on weekends too. I do have teenage babysitters near me, but is it worth it to call them over? I don't think so.

Do you know anyone in the neighborhood you can send the older two with?

[Anonymous]

We live where it’s cold. I tell DD she can stay inside while we go out (and I mean it).

[Anonymous]

Just wait until spring and the cicadas are out....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live where it’s cold. I tell DD she can stay inside while we go out (and I mean it).

How old? I would do this but I don’t trust my 4 yr old in the house alone unsupervised

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Covid all around, snow all around, freezing cold.

One of the best things to do is go outside and play. I have three kids, 4, 9, 11. The older two are all about playing outside; sledding, snow forts, snowmen building. But my 4 yr old is refusing. It is super frustrating bc he is big enough that I cannot force him into a snowsuit, boots, mittens, hat, etc. if he is flat out not willing. It is too cold out to be outside not wearing appropriate gear. My older ones are fine to play outside without me, but I want to play with them too! And the big snow hill for sledding is a far walk away and they cant go there alone.

Yesterday I had to shovel the drive way and it was a disaster. Older two played in the yard happily. After a long struggle (and still no snow pants), 4 yr old stayed outside right next to the door the whole time crying- just waiting to go back in.

How can I fix this? I want to be able to do fun outdoor things with all three of my kids and I feel bad my older kids 1) don't get to play with me 2) are limited to pretty much yard play. Any ideas?

If I were you I would let my older two go by themselves. I would stay home four year old and not push four yearold to go out. Thatis the downsides of going for the third and a big age gap. Sometimes you have to miss out on the fun! Sorry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Covid all around, snow all around, freezing cold.

One of the best things to do is go outside and play. I have three kids, 4, 9, 11. The older two are all about playing outside; sledding, snow forts, snowmen building. But my 4 yr old is refusing. It is super frustrating bc he is big enough that I cannot force him into a snowsuit, boots, mittens, hat, etc. if he is flat out not willing. It is too cold out to be outside not wearing appropriate gear. My older ones are fine to play outside without me, but I want to play with them too! And the big snow hill for sledding is a far walk away and they cant go there alone.

Yesterday I had to shovel the drive way and it was a disaster. Older two played in the yard happily. After a long struggle (and still no snow pants), 4 yr old stayed outside right next to the door the whole time crying- just waiting to go back in.

How can I fix this? I want to be able to do fun outdoor things with all three of my kids and I feel bad my older kids 1) don't get to play with me 2) are limited to pretty much yard play. Any ideas?

If I were you I would let my older two go by themselves. I would stay home four year old and not push four yearold to go out. Thatis the downsides of going for the third and a big age gap. Sometimes you have to miss out on the fun! Sorry!

Yeah I mean this is part of the deal, OP. The older two can go alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m with your 4-year-old. I hate playing in the snow. Always have. Either you’re freezing or sweating in all that gear. Not a good time for some people.

Do you have a spouse? My compromise is you get to play outside with the kids when the spouse is around to play with the younger one inside. Divide and conquer.

Im with the four year old too, but I’m the mom and my kids love snow. So, I suck it up and take them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Covid all around, snow all around, freezing cold.

One of the best things to do is go outside and play. I have three kids, 4, 9, 11. The older two are all about playing outside; sledding, snow forts, snowmen building. But my 4 yr old is refusing. It is super frustrating bc he is big enough that I cannot force him into a snowsuit, boots, mittens, hat, etc. if he is flat out not willing. It is too cold out to be outside not wearing appropriate gear. My older ones are fine to play outside without me, but I want to play with them too! And the big snow hill for sledding is a far walk away and they cant go there alone.

Yesterday I had to shovel the drive way and it was a disaster. Older two played in the yard happily. After a long struggle (and still no snow pants), 4 yr old stayed outside right next to the door the whole time crying- just waiting to go back in.

How can I fix this? I want to be able to do fun outdoor things with all three of my kids and I feel bad my older kids 1) don't get to play with me 2) are limited to pretty much yard play. Any ideas?

If I were you I would let my older two go by themselves. I would stay home four year old and not push four yearold to go out. Thatis the downsides of going for the third and a big age gap. Sometimes you have to miss out on the fun! Sorry!

Ugh. I’m thinking you are right and I don’t want to hear it!

[Anonymous]

I would make mine go. My kids are always hesitant to try things and then end up liking it. I would make sure they have all the right gear on and bring an extra blanket and something to sit on so they can be warm if they decide not to sled. But sitting at home wouldn't be an option.
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