My 4.5 year old has so many potty accidents

[Anonymous]

Like SO many. A few times a week. She is always peeing herself. We did a toy box at the suggestion of her doctor and things actually got better. But it's still so often. It feels like we will never get over the pull up overnight. What do I do???

[Anonymous]

The night training is totally separate, don’t even think about that unless she’s consistently waking up dry.

The daytime stuff...she might be constipated. Give her some pear juice, just a small cup each day for a few weeks and see if that helps.

[Anonymous]

A few times a week is not "always".

Start reminding her to go. As in, "hey, it's been about an hour, let's go visit the potty".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The night training is totally separate, don’t even think about that unless she’s consistently waking up dry.

The daytime stuff...she might be constipated. Give her some pear juice, just a small cup each day for a few weeks and see if that helps.

Thanks, I got her some culturelle stuff. She's been having issues since we "potty trained" her two years ago. Could she be constipated for that long? Her poops are consistent and look normal.

[Anonymous]

Is she in in-person school or daycare? Does she have the accidents there? And has this been consistent since you potty trained or is it more recent?

I ask because many kids, mine included, have experienced some regression in different things, including potty training, due to the disruption of not being in school or due to a change in their schedules thanks to daycare closures or changed hours.

Mine never has accidents when we are out of the house, and never at daycare. But yes, accidents several times a week at home, almost always urine. We've talked to our pediatrician who is pretty convinced it's a reaction to all the upheaval. If she's holding it and using the potty for many hours on a near daily basis when outside or in another setting, it's not a physical question, it's a behavioral one. We are working with a behavioral therapist on it, though haven't seen an improvement yet.

If it happens no matter where she is, then I agree with PPs it might be constipation or another physical question.

[Anonymous]

If these are daytime pee accidents, check for a UTI. My DD gets them and the only sign is sudden recurring pee accidents.

[Anonymous]

There's a book called "It's No Accident" related to pee accidents and unrecognized constipation. You should check it out.

[Anonymous]

My daughter went through a regression. It was because she didn’t want to stop whatever she was doing to go, so she’d end up waiting too long. I just made it a point for awhile to keep a closer eye on her and when I’d see her being fidgety or seeming to keep her legs close together, I’d ask her if she had to go. Often she’d lie, but she’s not a convincing liar, so I’d tell her to “try” to go anyway. And of course she always had to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she in in-person school or daycare? Does she have the accidents there? And has this been consistent since you potty trained or is it more recent?

I ask because many kids, mine included, have experienced some regression in different things, including potty training, due to the disruption of not being in school or due to a change in their schedules thanks to daycare closures or changed hours.

Mine never has accidents when we are out of the house, and never at daycare. But yes, accidents several times a week at home, almost always urine. We've talked to our pediatrician who is pretty convinced it's a reaction to all the upheaval. If she's holding it and using the potty for many hours on a near daily basis when outside or in another setting, it's not a physical question, it's a behavioral one. We are working with a behavioral therapist on it, though haven't seen an improvement yet.

If it happens no matter where she is, then I agree with PPs it might be constipation or another physical question.

Thanks for the long response. She has never had an accident at daycare. She was only out of school between March and July. This has been happening since we trained her at 2.5. 2020 was a crazy year for her - baby was born, we moved, new school. I try to be forgiving but man it is really frustrating washing so many clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter went through a regression. It was because she didn’t want to stop whatever she was doing to go, so she’d end up waiting too long. I just made it a point for awhile to keep a closer eye on her and when I’d see her being fidgety or seeming to keep her legs close together, I’d ask her if she had to go. Often she’d lie, but she’s not a convincing liar, so I’d tell her to “try” to go anyway. And of course she always had to go.

I feel like it's not a regression since it's been ongoing for 2 years. -op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The night training is totally separate, don’t even think about that unless she’s consistently waking up dry.

The daytime stuff...she might be constipated. Give her some pear juice, just a small cup each day for a few weeks and see if that helps.

Thanks, I got her some culturelle stuff. She's been having issues since we "potty trained" her two years ago. Could she be constipated for that long? Her poops are consistent and look normal.

Yes it could still be possible. This is likely if she’s truly surprised by the pee coming out. Talk to your pediatrician!

[Anonymous]

Wait a minute - how has nobody told you about day vs night training? I'm assuming this is your first kid. I'm not being critical because I've been there but please don't scold her.

Do not take away the pull ups at night. Staying dry at night is not part of typical potty training. Staying dry at night happens when it happens and you can't really rush it.

My teenager took a long time to be night trained. Turned out he had ADHD and that's common for kids who have it. Either way, I knew that I just needed him in pull ups and with a protective sheet over his sheets. He'd get there when he was ready.

As he got older - about five years old, we started waking him up to use the potty at night around midnight before we went to bed.

Eventually they get it but I truly believe that there is nothing you can do right now to help her stay dry at night.

Just buy the pullups, the mattress AND sheet protectors and let her know it's all ok. Some kid's bladders just don't communicate well with their brains to tell them to wake up. They mature and it magically get better for most kids.

Four is not an age to panic.

[Anonymous]

Put her on an every 2-3 hour potty schedule. She has to sit on the potty whether or not she thinks she needs to go.

Letting them hold urine until they get overflow incontinence is bad for their bladder

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute - how has nobody told you about day vs night training? I'm assuming this is your first kid. I'm not being critical because I've been there but please don't scold her.

Do not take away the pull ups at night. Staying dry at night is not part of typical potty training. Staying dry at night happens when it happens and you can't really rush it.

My teenager took a long time to be night trained. Turned out he had ADHD and that's common for kids who have it. Either way, I knew that I just needed him in pull ups and with a protective sheet over his sheets. He'd get there when he was ready.

As he got older - about five years old, we started waking him up to use the potty at night around midnight before we went to bed.

Eventually they get it but I truly believe that there is nothing you can do right now to help her stay dry at night.

Just buy the pullups, the mattress AND sheet protectors and let her know it's all ok. Some kid's bladders just don't communicate well with their brains to tell them to wake up. They mature and it magically get better for most kids.

Four is not an age to panic.

OP here. The point of my post was how many accidents she has during the day. I meant I couldn't focus on nighttime because it feels like we'll never get past daytime accidents. We don't scold her for it but it is really frustrating. Things are better when we remind her to go but we aren't great about telling each other (my husband and I) when the last time she went was. And SOMETIMES she goes by herself. Fingers crossed for no accidents this weekend...

[Anonymous]

OP here with a 6 week update. We were dealing with 10+ accidents a week and then a few posters suggested constipation. We got her probiotics and discovered her love for prune juice. We started a poop log and somehow, she is not having any accidents. I LOVE YOU DCUM! Seriously, I owe you so much but also feel bad we didn't notice. Anyways, she is doing great and we are so proud of her. THANK YOU EVERYONE!