Any hope from parents of long term picky eaters?
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Anonymous
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I have two kids - a 13 year old who eats wonderfully and a 10 year old who is still very picky.
She's not one of those kids who only eats 10 things. She'll eat almost all breakfast food, most fruits, and does okay at lunch time, though not great. The real problem is dinner. She doesn't like things that most people eat for dinner. If it were up to her, she would eat mac &cheese, buttered noodles, or chicken nuggets for dinner every night. She will tolerate hamburgers or pizza. When she can't have those things, she just picks at her dinner, eats a few "no thank you bites", some bread, a glass of milk and is fine until breakfast the next day. I admit we have enabled this out of exhaustion/laziness. We've kind of tried not to make a big deal out of it hoping she'd grow out of it. Each year she does start eating a few new things. Like this year for instance she added shrimp (plain only) and smoked salmon (lox) with her bagel. But I still have the worry of - is she going to go to college eating like this? Can anyone offer advice or encouragement for older kids? I feel like a lot of the books are for younger kids and we've kind of missed that boat. Thanks. |
Anonymous
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Yes, there is hope. My picky son started eating “normally” by age 13. Honestly, I think he just got tired of eating his usual (mac-n-cheese, buttered pasta, etc.) and started to venture out. Now he eats everything I cook and will try new things without issue (he’s 16 now).
FWIW, we tried everything when he was younger, to include seeing a food therapist, but nothing really worked. If he had no alternative foods, he just wouldn’t eat. Our food therapist was adamant that we not punish him for not eating what was offered; rather, we should simply encourage him to try something, and leave it at that. We did that for a few years - and he mostly stuck to pasta - but then he got tired of it and that was the impetus to be more adventurous. |
Anonymous
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Kids appetites change as they grow. Many a kid has gone to college and learned to like other things out of pure necessity. Cook with her and try out new receipes. Cooking helps some people expand their palate as the ownership of the process encourages them to try new things.
Also try expanding from what she already likes. For instance in place of chicken nuggets suggest fried chicken tenders or grilled chicken nuggets. Try variations of mac and cheese, like different cheeses or different noodles. Try a totally different take on things she likes. For instance she likes cheese and fried nuggets, so maybe she’ll like fried mozarella sticks and marinara sauce. If she likes the sauce maybe she’ll eat that with pasta. These are small tweaks but they open ip new meal options and open her up to the idea of at least trying new things. Make a pack to try a new vegetable each month and try it different ways each week (baked, boiled, roasted, in something, etc etc) Some people remain picky eaters their entire life but they survive. |
Anonymous
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We cook a lot and we cook many different cuisines. Pre-pandemic, we loved to go to new and different restaurants. My kids love eating out and so they have tried and found something to appreciate in all the different cuisines they have tried.
It is interesting that even the picky eater at home is far less picky when dining out? DC1 is a picky eater, DC2 eats every thing. Through exposure to different cuisines they have found enough things that they like. Buttered noodles, mac and cheese...all of this sounds utterly uninspiring. You need to step up your spice game and I am sure your kids will find your food appetizing. |
Anonymous
| My son was still pretty picky at 10. It started getting better in middle school and now he's 17 and will at least try most things. Tonight was spicy black beans cooked with onion, carrots, tomatoes, and peppers over rice. All things he probably wouldn't have eaten at 10. He's still not a fan of vegetables by themselves and his favorite food is still pizza but overall he's a competent eater and eats a variety of foods. |
Anonymous
| So what's the problem? Is the child losing weight? Not growing? |
Anonymous
| I have one of each as well. My picky eater is still picky but somewhat better now at 19. Hang in there. He went from chicken nuggets to enjoying roast chicken and other mildly flavored chicken for example. And FWIW the pickiest eater kid I know is now at Harvard. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| That isn't picky. |
Anonymous
| I got over it when I went to college and became embarrassed of it. Just let it go, OP. I know it is annoying, but it's ok to let some things work themselves out. |
Anonymous
| My picky child has gotten a little better each year. At 14 he will try a new food, and he occasionally adds a new dish to his “sure, I’ll eat that” list. He still will simply go hungry rather than eat something he doesn’t really like. I think taste buds (and brains) mature. And in the end of our kids go off to college still eating mostly nuggets and Mac and cheese, well, they’ll have some choices to make. And they’ll grow. They won’t starve and they won’t die of shame. It’ll be all right. |
Anonymous
OP here. No she is tall and a healthy weight. I’m just a worrier and think it would be problematic to eat like this as an adult. Imagine going on a date in college or young adulthood. She rarely eats what is served at family events (not an issue during Covid) and once her friends stop serving pizza for parties, she’ll need to be able to eat something else. Also her diet is full of carbs and dairy and not enough vegetables and whole grain. And yes I know this is not as picky as some kids are. But let’s say we came to your house and you served grilled chicken, rice and asparagus. A perfectly nice normal dinner. She would have none of that. |
Anonymous
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OP, those social consequences are hers to bear. It's ok for her to experience that. And it might not be so bad. This generation is way more tolerant of special health needs and diets than our generation.
My DH grew up in the Midwest in a family that considered seafood a foreign cuisine. His whole family was picky and he was too. First week of college a pretty girl asked him to go for sushi. And summoned his courage and did what he needed to do. Yes, he ate that hamachi and he did not like it but it was worth it in the end. Maybe your DD will see the light. |
Anonymous
Ok, so she eats before she goes to a friends house or they make her something she will eat. |
Anonymous
Former very picky eater here myself, and one of my kids also was very picky until late teens. My parents forced me to eat a little of everything, and I in turn did not force my kid to eat anything - neither approach worked better than the other  . We both expanded our palates naturally somewhat in high school and even more so in college and looking back I think “peer pressure” (not wanting to stand out or get left out) was the biggest reason, although some was probably palate maturity, too.
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