Son’s friend... physically punished

[Anonymous]

We moved to a new state due to the pandemic. The neighborhood kids all play outside together. One kid seems a bit rougher than the others. My son (age 10) said he saw the boy’s uncle (he lives with him) slap him in the face as a punishment. I mean, I know this is how some people punish their kids but it makes me sad. My DH was punished physically as a kid and doesn’t feel like it’s a big deal, that’s just how some families are. My son said on his own that this kid has a tough life. I told my son to be kind to this boy, but also don’t let himself get pushed around by him.


*The cases of Covid are <1% here and it’s a warm climate. This is not part of the discussion.

[Anonymous]

No, its not ok, but what's the alternative, foster care? You moved to a different world and this is very common in most places. And, yes, covid is still an issue and people like you saying its not is the problem.

[Anonymous]

Not ok on any level. Not ok for the uncle to physically abuse the boy and not ok for the boy to be rough with your son.

Out of curiosity, which state is this? Do they have in-person school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not ok on any level. Not ok for the uncle to physically abuse the boy and not ok for the boy to be rough with your son.

Out of curiosity, which state is this? Do they have in-person school?

Kauai, HI. Hybrid school.

[Anonymous]

That’s assault. The uncle should be arrested.

[Anonymous]

Was it a punishment, or did the uncle just hit him? If the uncle just hit him, you could mention it to the parents. A slap across the face is a weird punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s assault. The uncle should be arrested.

Yes, and if the boys has parents who are in charge of him, he can actually be charged.

[Anonymous]

If he will hit the kid in the face outside in front of people, he’s doing worse behind closed doors. I would call CPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he will hit the kid in the face outside in front of people, he’s doing worse behind closed doors. I would call CPS.

+1 Does your kid ever see bruises on him?

I'm not against corporal punishment per se, but a slap in the face especially in public probably means worse is going on behind closed doors.

Can you call cps anonymously?

[Anonymous]

Get perspective people. DH's dad had no issues with smacking him across the mouth if he and his siblings were being mouthy or back-talking. He grew up in PA. His dad was not abusive, not an alcoholic or drug user, but he commanded respect. This style of parenting was common in this area. Unless the kid in question is showing signs of abuse, a random slap across the face is not abuse. It may not be the appropriate response for many people, but its not abuse. You were not directly involved in the situation and are taking this story from a 10 yr old who "saw" the kid being hit. It doesn't sound like he heard or knew what led up to the hit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get perspective people. DH's dad had no issues with smacking him across the mouth if he and his siblings were being mouthy or back-talking. He grew up in PA. His dad was not abusive, not an alcoholic or drug user, but he commanded respect. This style of parenting was common in this area. Unless the kid in question is showing signs of abuse, a random slap across the face is not abuse. It may not be the appropriate response for many people, but its not abuse. You were not directly involved in the situation and are taking this story from a 10 yr old who "saw" the kid being hit. It doesn't sound like he heard or knew what led up to the hit.

1. He did not command respect, he commanded fear. Big difference.

2. If your DD was with a man who smacked her across the face what advice would you give her?

3. Your example just shows how damaged people continue the cycle of abuse because they think it's "normal".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved to a new state due to the pandemic. The neighborhood kids all play outside together. One kid seems a bit rougher than the others. My son (age 10) said he saw the boy’s uncle (he lives with him) slap him in the face as a punishment. I mean, I know this is how some people punish their kids but it makes me sad. My DH was punished physically as a kid and doesn’t feel like it’s a big deal, that’s just how some families are. My son said on his own that this kid has a tough life. I told my son to be kind to this boy, but also don’t let himself get pushed around by him.


*The cases of Covid are <1% here and it’s a warm climate. This is not part of the discussion.

If it were me, I would keep a close eye on the situation without calling CPS just yet. I am not a fan of corporal punishment, nor am I saying this isn't serious--but it's not clear to me whether this was a "one off" situation where they boy's uncle was angry and acted inappropriately or whether it's an ongoing, common occurrence with much worse things happening in private. Calling CPS isn't something that you can take back--and this kid could go from the frying pan to the fire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get perspective people. DH's dad had no issues with smacking him across the mouth if he and his siblings were being mouthy or back-talking. He grew up in PA. His dad was not abusive, not an alcoholic or drug user, but he commanded respect. This style of parenting was common in this area. Unless the kid in question is showing signs of abuse, a random slap across the face is not abuse. It may not be the appropriate response for many people, but its not abuse. You were not directly involved in the situation and are taking this story from a 10 yr old who "saw" the kid being hit. It doesn't sound like he heard or knew what led up to the hit.

You are 100% wrong and your FIL is a coward for hitting little kids 1/2 his size. He didn’t command respect, he abused them and they were afraid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get perspective people. DH's dad had no issues with smacking him across the mouth if he and his siblings were being mouthy or back-talking. He grew up in PA. His dad was not abusive, not an alcoholic or drug user, but he commanded respect. This style of parenting was common in this area. Unless the kid in question is showing signs of abuse, a random slap across the face is not abuse. It may not be the appropriate response for many people, but its not abuse. You were not directly involved in the situation and are taking this story from a 10 yr old who "saw" the kid being hit. It doesn't sound like he heard or knew what led up to the hit.

Do you think it’s ok for your DH to hit your kids?

[Anonymous]

JC I would never touch my sister's kids