Emails only to DC

[Anonymous]

Schools that dc applied to are sending 90% of follow-up emails only to him. I don't have access to his email and all I can do is ask whether he is getting communications about financial aid, the need for more information/documentation, etc. He says no and usually stomps out of the room but I don't believe it to be true. I understand he will be an adult soon and will need to keep on top of these things once he goes off to college but can't stop thinking he is screwing himself out of money, etc. because he is being so lazy. Just let him deal with the consequences of being at community college because he missed deadlines? His attitude is making me question whether he even wants to go to college.

[Anonymous]

You need to speak directly with you son not to this board. If there is a co-parent I would also seek their support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to speak directly with you son not to this board. If there is a co-parent I would also seek their support.

I believe I said that when I try to talk to him about it he stomps out of the room.

If there are others that have dealt with a teen that seems disinterested in the process but thinks they know everything about it, I would love to hear from you.

[Anonymous]

If he is not willing to share then let him handle it and let the chips fall where they may. It may be a good life lesson for him to learn to reach out for help when it is needed. It sounds like he may not be ready for college at this point. A year of CC or just growing up may help him a lot. Not everyone is ready to go off to college and away from home at the exact same time.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, no. He’s about to go to college. He needs to learn the lesson the hard way if he can’t get his shit together.

[Anonymous]

My 16 yr old son just created an email address for college stuff. He gave me the password so I can have access to it. Can you explain to him that he will need to pay for school himself if he won't forward you the FA emails?

[Anonymous]

Yes, we don't have one of the driven ones. The thing that bothers us is that he's smart and can do well when he applies himself but seems to have checked out completely lately. He's a junior and just started the search - ahem, I have been searching. Don't have any advice other than to gang up and make an appt with him maybe once a week to go over things. 15 minute meeting max.

[Anonymous]

I'm living this now with my junior DS. I think it may be fairly common. It's driving me crazy, but he just won't engage. Every conversation ends with eye rolling and stomping off. No advice, just understand.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he isn't interested.

Tell him you need to see the emails regarding financial aid. No discussion, just state that you need to see them, he needs to forward them to you.

The rest of it is on him.

[Anonymous]

Maybe visiting a school will help. Some kids have zero conception of what college is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, we don't have one of the driven ones. The thing that bothers us is that he's smart and can do well when he applies himself but seems to have checked out completely lately. He's a junior and just started the search - ahem, I have been searching. Don't have any advice other than to gang up and make an appt with him maybe once a week to go over things. 15 minute meeting max.

+1. Having a scheduled time to go over the recent emails is a good way to go. That way you won't have to keep asking him all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Schools that dc applied to are sending 90% of follow-up emails only to him. I don't have access to his email and all I can do is ask whether he is getting communications about financial aid, the need for more information/documentation, etc. He says no and usually stomps out of the room but I don't believe it to be true. I understand he will be an adult soon and will need to keep on top of these things once he goes off to college but can't stop thinking he is screwing himself out of money, etc. because he is being so lazy. Just let him deal with the consequences of being at community college because he missed deadlines? His attitude is making me question whether he even wants to go to college.

Why does he stomp out of the room? It sounds like you and he have other problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Schools that dc applied to are sending 90% of follow-up emails only to him. I don't have access to his email and all I can do is ask whether he is getting communications about financial aid, the need for more information/documentation, etc. He says no and usually stomps out of the room but I don't believe it to be true. I understand he will be an adult soon and will need to keep on top of these things once he goes off to college but can't stop thinking he is screwing himself out of money, etc. because he is being so lazy. Just let him deal with the consequences of being at community college because he missed deadlines? His attitude is making me question whether he even wants to go to college.

Why does he stomp out of the room? It sounds like you and he have other problems.

Not OP, but earlier in the process my DD would shut down when I wanted to check the emails. I think was a combination of not wanting me telling her what to do, not wanting me near her phone, and anxiety/denial that college is right around the corner. Once we started going through the emails, we found little gems like a code for an application waiver, or an invite to talk to a peer at a college she really likes, or yes even merit offers. So now DD is checking the emails on her own and forwards noteworthy emails to me. We also do another review together about once a week.

OP, Maybe talk to your DC to see if there is anything on his mind that is making him apprehensive about college. Sometimes a talk like that can go a long way.

[Anonymous]

Just get the password ffs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe visiting a school will help. Some kids have zero conception of what college is.

Schools aren't doing tours right now. There's a pandemic.