need advice

[Anonymous]

My sister is going through her second round of IVF. First round failed and I’m really hoping that this one sticks. The embryo will be implanted in her uterus sometime end of next week (seems like they have to check a few things with her uterine lining before setting an exact date). Problem is that I found out that I’m pregnant with my third. I’m 5 weeks along. I know my sister will be happy for me but I also can’t imagine how it would feel if the ivf is not successful. I am confused on whether to tell her now before they implant the embryo or after. With my first two I told her when I was around 5 weeks as well. I feel like waiting until after may make her think that I was hiding the pregnancy from her. But telling her before may stress her out? I’m honestly still processing the pregnancy myself since it was unplanned. I’m also freaking out since I have an iud in place and my obgyn thinks it’s best for them to leave it in there until delivery. I’m looking for advice on when and how to break the news to her and would love to hear your perspectives. My apologies if I used any terminology that is incorrect. I’m not really familiar with the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister is going through her second round of IVF. First round failed and I’m really hoping that this one sticks. The embryo will be implanted in her uterus sometime end of next week (seems like they have to check a few things with her uterine lining before setting an exact date). Problem is that I found out that I’m pregnant with my third. I’m 5 weeks along. I know my sister will be happy for me but I also can’t imagine how it would feel if the ivf is not successful. I am confused on whether to tell her now before they implant the embryo or after. With my first two I told her when I was around 5 weeks as well. I feel like waiting until after may make her think that I was hiding the pregnancy from her. But telling her before may stress her out? I’m honestly still processing the pregnancy myself since it was unplanned. I’m also freaking out since I have an iud in place and my obgyn thinks it’s best for them to leave it in there until delivery. I’m looking for advice on when and how to break the news to her and would love to hear your perspectives. My apologies if I used any terminology that is incorrect. I’m not really familiar with the process.

Wait. It will gut her and could negatively impact her IVF cycle.

[Anonymous]

Wait until you are 12 weeks. Can’t be mad that you were waiting to tell people until 2nd semester.

BTW She is having a transfer. The doctor transfers the embryo into her uterus. And you hope it implants. If it does, it’s a positive. If it doesn’t implant, it’s a negative.

[Anonymous]

Wait. It’s still very early for you. Tell her after she knows her results. Preferably don’t say it was unplanned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait until you are 12 weeks. Can’t be mad that you were waiting to tell people until 2nd semester.

BTW She is having a transfer. The doctor transfers the embryo into her uterus. And you hope it implants. If it does, it’s a positive. If it doesn’t implant, it’s a negative.

OP here. Thank you. Transfer makes more sense!

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your advice. Based on what you are saying I will wait.

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree you should wait to tell. Absolutely until after her knows whether this round was successful. I also urge you to get a second opinion on leaving the IUD in. Sometimes it's the right thing to do (depending on location, etc.), but in general the miscarriage and complication rate is markedly higher when the IUD stays in. I've read that it's close to a 50% miscarriage rate with the IUD in (which is another reason to wait to tell), so please just be aware and advocate for yourself. Good luck to you and your sister both.