When your kid has a "bad birthday" for a sport

[Anonymous]

How do you keep them from feeling discouraged when their birthday happens to fall at the "wrong" time for their individual sport (so that they are always chronologically/developmentally the youngest for important championships, team selection, etc)? It's hard to see DS work hard all year only to be thrown to the bottom of the bucket again right before it really matters, and at his age it is starting to affect coaching and group selection. I want him to realize that although this is a big deal right now, eventually growth and development evens out so that if he wants to stick with the sport for high school/college, his "unfortunate" birthday won't matter as much. Any experience on how to deal with the mental side of this and help DS focus on self improvement and sticking with it?

[Anonymous]

You sound exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound exhausting.

Seriously. So annoying.

[Anonymous]

Just have him do what he enjoys.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't make that much difference.

[Anonymous]

My child has a terrible birthday. Worst day possible. It actually forced them to try harder to keep up with peers, and now my child is ranked nationally at that sport.

[Anonymous]

My kid has a terrible birthday for travel baseball- he's the youngest in his level. What can you do about? Nothing. Someone is going to be the oldest and someone the youngest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't make that much difference.

Studies show it actually does make a difference. http://www.ncaa.org/about/resources/research/birthday-effect-college-athletics

[Anonymous]

You need to get over it because there is literally nothing you can do about it.

My DS happens to have the very best birthday for his sport, but he is also incredibly short. But since we can't change his body build, there are just some things he needs to get over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't make that much difference.

Studies show it actually does make a difference. http://www.ncaa.org/about/resources/research/birthday-effect-college-athletics

What if your child doesn't want to be an athlete for college? Save the money for college instead of pushing sports. Let them do sports for enjoyment not bragging rights.

[Anonymous]

I completely understand. Relative age effect is real and tough on some kids. If you are smaller for your age to begin with and young for the sport it is going to be really difficult to get picked for all star/select/A team. You really have to be better than kids up to a year older.

It makes a difference in some sports more than other. What sport is it?

[Anonymous]

What if your kid doesn't get a good lottery number for school selection? What if your kid gets all the crappy teachers?

Lots of negative things happen by chance over the course of your kid's lifetime. He or she is apt to win some and lose some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely understand. Relative age effect is real and tough on some kids. If you are smaller for your age to begin with and young for the sport it is going to be really difficult to get picked for all star/select/A team. You really have to be better than kids up to a year older.

It makes a difference in some sports more than other. What sport is it?

This is about a parent projecting their lofty expectations on their kid. Who is what -7? 8? do you think he or she really cares if they play travel or rec? I doubt it.

I think this is about the parent keeping up with the jones.

[Anonymous]

This happens in some swim clubs when kids “age up” right before SC or LC champs, where coaches spend less time/focus on these kids because they are unlikely to win state or national age group championships when they are young relative to the other swimmers competing. It’s short sighted though, and the sign of a club that’s not good for developing swimmers for the long game. When they are at the senior level, it balances out and if anything those kids with birthdays right before SC champs have a relative advantage within their graduation year when looking at colleges, if they are trying to get to the next level.

I imagine it’s different depending on the sport, but if coaches or organizations are overlooking or not developing talented kids simply because of where their birthday falls, they are not good organizations and you should avoid them anyway.

[Anonymous]

If your kid is talented enough for the team it doesn't matter their birthday. Sorry, that's the way the world works. Some kids are so talented that they play up and are the youngest on an older team. I say this as someone who has a kid who is the youngest on their travel baseball team. I want my kid to work hard, not get a pass because of an unfortunate birthday.