When your kid has a "bad birthday" for a sport

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child has a terrible birthday. Worst day possible. It actually forced them to try harder to keep up with peers, and now my child is ranked nationally at that sport.

Similar experience for us. She really loved the sport even though she wasn't as good as the other kids. She worked really hard and by HS was ranked.

[Anonymous]

We knew a boy that was the opposite. Parents redshirted him and he was almost two years older than my son. He was a star player thru middle school. Top recruit for High School. Got to HS and was nothing special. But he had so much confidence from being the star player for 8 years.

[Anonymous]

1. Engineer flux capacitor
2. Obtain DeLorean
3. Attach #1 to #2 and go back in time X years and 10 months before your child was born.
4. Either jump your spouse’s bones a month early, or pick an enormous fight (perhaps talk to the chlamydia+ poster in another thread) so as to delay speaking terms/conception until the baby would be born safely on the good side of the age cutoff.

[Anonymous]

There is no such things as a "bad birthday" for something like soccer, once they are no longer U-littles. Kids hit growth spurts at different times. My son is right in the middle in terms of age, but one of the smallest. He just always grows a little bit after comparable peers. Luckily, for the position he plays, size is not a huge factor.

[Anonymous]

Birthdays don’t make that much of a difference your typical athlete (I assume we aren’t talking about anyone going pro 🤣)

Some difference, in some sports? Sure. Temporarily. Particularly for boys, the “puberty lottery” (so to speak) is not exactly equal either...obviously early puberty is an advantage for most sports as well.

They need to learn to work hard & persevere through the tougher seasons.

Challenge is good for kids.

Definitely never use it an excuse in front of your child (or let him do so). That will make things worse.

[Anonymous]

Some people literally plan conception based on this one thing.

[Anonymous]

My bad birthday kid was lucky to hit puberty early, and then it stopped mattering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We knew a boy that was the opposite. Parents redshirted him and he was almost two years older than my son. He was a star player thru middle school. Top recruit for High School. Got to HS and was nothing special. But he had so much confidence from being the star player for 8 years.

Irrelevant. Redshirting doesn’t affect club sports, which she’s clearly talking about.

[Anonymous]

This makes a huge difference for swimmers. Consider this:

A 13 year old with a summer birthday is swimming against kids who are a month or less into the age of 11. In most cases, the 13 year old has an adult’s body. You can see when the kids line up. Same with making cuts for certain meets. Some kids can make those cuts weeks or days before aging out of that group and others would have to make that cut days into the new age. For example:

A kid who is 12 years and 11 months old will almost always more make the cut over a kid who is 11 years and 2 weeks old. Of course there are exceptions, but they are fairly rare.

My kid has a bad birthday for lots of swim cuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This makes a huge difference for swimmers. Consider this:

A 13 year old with a summer birthday is swimming against kids who are a month or less into the age of 11. In most cases, the 13 year old has an adult’s body. You can see when the kids line up. Same with making cuts for certain meets. Some kids can make those cuts weeks or days before aging out of that group and others would have to make that cut days into the new age. For example:

A kid who is 12 years and 11 months old will almost always more make the cut over a kid who is 11 years and 2 weeks old. Of course there are exceptions, but they are fairly rare.

My kid has a bad birthday for lots of swim cuts.

They don’t have a bad birthday they have competitive parents. My swim kid will be the slowest at any age group. So what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes a huge difference for swimmers. Consider this:

A 13 year old with a summer birthday is swimming against kids who are a month or less into the age of 11. In most cases, the 13 year old has an adult’s body. You can see when the kids line up. Same with making cuts for certain meets. Some kids can make those cuts weeks or days before aging out of that group and others would have to make that cut days into the new age. For example:

A kid who is 12 years and 11 months old will almost always more make the cut over a kid who is 11 years and 2 weeks old. Of course there are exceptions, but they are fairly rare.

My kid has a bad birthday for lots of swim cuts.

They don’t have a bad birthday they have competitive parents. My swim kid will be the slowest at any age group. So what.

No, it’s what I said. It’s definitely an advantage and the kids know it and have to deal with it. It’s not a figment of my imagination because I’m the competitive parent. If you have a competitive minded kid, it matters to your child. You don’t do it doesn’t to you or your child.

[Anonymous]

It sounds as though your child is young, ES or MS?

Just encourage your child to enjoy their sport!

There is no such thing as a "bad birthday" for school or sports. People who focus so much on redshirting so their child will be "ahead," or on holding back kids in school so they have time to bulk up for sports, are ridiculous and are sending bad messages to their child. The same goes for you,, OP, asking how to deal with a "bad birthday" for sports. Just let your kid be a kid!

I know there are Olympic figure skaters and gymnasts whose parents planned their conception so the child would be of "optimal age" during an Olympic year. I think this is appalling. What if your kid doesn't like that sport? Or loses interest in it? Or isn't as good as you hoped they'd be? Talk about sending a message to your kid that their value is tied to athletic success! It sound, OP, like you are sending a similar message, but on a lesser scale. Not good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We knew a boy that was the opposite. Parents redshirted him and he was almost two years older than my son. He was a star player thru middle school. Top recruit for High School. Got to HS and was nothing special. But he had so much confidence from being the star player for 8 years.

Irrelevant. Redshirting doesn’t affect club sports, which she’s clearly talking about.

How wouldnt it affect club sports?

My kid plays club lacrosse, and her team is based on graduation year. She was born in 2008 and plays on a 2026 team. There are other girls who were born from late summer of 2006 through fall of 2008 all playing on 2026 team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We knew a boy that was the opposite. Parents redshirted him and he was almost two years older than my son. He was a star player thru middle school. Top recruit for High School. Got to HS and was nothing special. But he had so much confidence from being the star player for 8 years.

Irrelevant. Redshirting doesn’t affect club sports, which she’s clearly talking about.

How wouldnt it affect club sports?

My kid plays club lacrosse, and her team is based on graduation year. She was born in 2008 and plays on a 2026 team. There are other girls who were born from late summer of 2006 through fall of 2008 all playing on 2026 team.

It’s irrelevant because redshirting isn’t relevant when it’s based on birthdays, like most club sports. A kid could be the oldest in 6th grade due to redshirting but will likely still compete against kids in his age bracket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound exhausting.

Ah, it's the same tired DCUM thing where a bunch of posters are too cool for school and act like caring about anything makes someone a helicopter parent just out for themselves. OP clearly has a kid who works hard and is being impacted in their sport by their age, and is frustrated by it. It doesn't mean it is consuming their life or the parent is obsessed. Ignoring the kid or telling them 'that's tough' in an unsympathetic way as some posters seem to suggest is not going to help.

Things are tough right now...can't we just give each other the benefit of the doubt? Do you really feel like you know someone's parenting style from a question on DCUM? Asking a question about helping one's child feel better does not make someone exhausting. If you don't have a helpful response, why respond at all? Are you just trying to make someone feel bad?