No tours = no interest?

[Anonymous]

My DD is an above average, though not stellar student. We can afford in-state schools only, so she cast a very wide net applying, hoping that some OOS and private schools would offer enough merit money for her to attend, as she does not want to take loans.

She's been accepted to a few schools that have offered her a nice amount of merit aid, but because they are OOS and not offering tours, she has lost interest in several of them. Yes, she's viewed the "virtual tours" online, but feels they are no substitute for being on campus and having the opportunity to talk to a guide one on one while she's looking at the school.

Some of the in state schools on her list where she's been accepted and that we could easily afford are falling into this "not interested" boat. While we want her to make the final choice for the best fit school for her, we feel she is sort of writing off some potentially good schools because she can't tour. (That being said, the tours we have been able to take have definitely helped her to decide "Yes, I'd like to go here" vs "Definitely not for me". We are hoping a few more in state schools will offer tours in the spring if the COVID numbers go down.

Anyone else finding that their DC is less interested in schools they cannot visit?

[Anonymous]

Are you sure she's a candidate for college at all? All this superficial losing of interest based on tours makes her sound completely flakey.

[Anonymous]

I think its hard even with a tour to get a good feel of what a college will be like. Its a scary time to make a decision like that so cut her some slack. Congrats on the acceptances.

[Anonymous]

Please realize that the luxury of visiting college campuses is only afforded to a few privileged youths.

If you have valuable insight as to which college would be a better fit, by all means, try to steer your child to that college. This year you have more power over her decision-making, since she's not swayed by in-person campus distractions.

[Anonymous]

I remember when I was looking, tours crossed off so many schools and bumped up others so much

[Anonymous]

I’m very hesitant to travel but the one trip we’ve made since March was to look at an ED school. Walking around even a mostly empty campus was really helpful. We did not talk to anyone there or see inside at all but drove around and got a sense of the size, layout, and neighborhood. Perhaps you could go visit top one or two in April, when hopefully there will have been more vaccinations.

[Anonymous]

If the value of the tour is talking to the guide, see if either her high school or the college admissions office can connect her to a current student. She won't be able to ask questions while walking around the campus, but that doesn't seem like a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Why aren't you just driving to the schools and walking around the campus? They are in-state schools. The furthest school would likely be something like Tech. It is definitely doable to drive there and back in one day and still do a nice tour. Honestly it doesn't sound like either of you have a full deck.

[Anonymous]

Is there a school that she's been accepted to, you can afford, and she is excited to attend? If so, then she's all set and I think you should leave this alone. If not, then I would find a way to visit those schools, even if it's just doing a little self-tour walking around campus and seeing the town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure she's a candidate for college at all? All this superficial losing of interest based on tours makes her sound completely flakey.

I'm not the OP, but you are an ass. I'm not sure if you are a parent of a senior, but I am. These kids have been out of school since last March, when they unexpectedly left school in the 3rd quarter of their junior year and will likely never return again. They are disconnected and it can be hard to get them to see what the world will look like outside of their rooms or learning spaces and what the future holds. This is difficult and unprecedented. Cut the kids some slack if they are having trouble getting excited about things.

[Anonymous]

Obviously, this won't work for all kids, but maybe you could help alleviate some of the stress and pressure she's feeling about the decision. Remind her that there isn't just one school where she'd be happy and that she could possibly (probably) love MANY without even setting foot on campus beforehand. If she's feeling she has to have an official visit to know for sure, help her understand that isn't true. As a PP mentioned, drive to those you can get to and home in a day and check out the campus and surrounding area. Or if there are one or two OOS schools she's most interested in, see if you can find a hotel where you'd feel comfortable spending the night; or if you have a significant other, drive in shifts and don't spend the night. For students who were unable to visit everywhere they wanted, my DC's advisor encouraged kids to visit schools nearby that would have a similar feel in size, layout, location (urban/rural), etc. Then you can help your child make connections about similarities and differences. Talking with current students and attending the online sessions along can also be a helpful part of the process. None of this may be ideal, but it's a way to keep options open and still feel you're learning more about the school.

And mom/dad, if you're feeling anxious about all of this and don't feel you can help your daughter as well as you'd like, maybe you have a relative, close friend, etc. who could have these conversations with DD.

Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m very hesitant to travel but the one trip we’ve made since March was to look at an ED school. Walking around even a mostly empty campus was really helpful. We did not talk to anyone there or see inside at all but drove around and got a sense of the size, layout, and neighborhood. Perhaps you could go visit top one or two in April, when hopefully there will have been more vaccinations.

+1 We did this. What I did was took notes of the online walking tour (what building they started at, then the next building, etc.)
Then I got a map of the campus, and plotted out the tour.
Then we went there and walked the campus, replicating the tour.
The campus was empty but we chatted with the bike cops.
DD loved it.

We flew there in August and stayed in a hotel walking distance from the school, and rented a car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure she's a candidate for college at all? All this superficial losing of interest based on tours makes her sound completely flakey.

I'm not the OP, but you are an ass. I'm not sure if you are a parent of a senior, but I am. These kids have been out of school since last March, when they unexpectedly left school in the 3rd quarter of their junior year and will likely never return again. They are disconnected and it can be hard to get them to see what the world will look like outside of their rooms or learning spaces and what the future holds. This is difficult and unprecedented. Cut the kids some slack if they are having trouble getting excited about things.

This is so true. My HS senior is now “what’s the point of paying all that money if I’m just going to be stuck in a dorm doing online classes? Or doing it from home?” He’s talked with friends who started college this year who have told him it’s been very disappointing.

I have tried to tell him things should be different come decision time for committing to a college, but I’m not sure if *I* am even buying that now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Please realize that the luxury of visiting college campuses is only afforded to a few privileged youths.

+1, remind her of this. I grew up poor, applied to three universities (in-state) and was going to get to visit one but my grandma’s car broke down on the way so I never got to visit. I did fine. Graduated with honors and distinction.

[Anonymous]

Our family is of modest means and college tours were not an easy discretionary expense but we did our best to physically see the schools our DC seriously considered attending. Yes it was in pandemic and most of this was walking on empty campuses with locked buildings but it made all the difference in helping our child understand what type of environment they thought was their best match.