How would you handle this with your nanny?

[Anonymous]

We gave our nanny the last two weeks of December off. Before the “break” we discussed what her plans were from a Covid perspective to ensure she was staying safe and could come back to work yesterday. She told us she would being doing a very low key Christmas with just her 3 kids (2 are married) and 2 grandkids. She lives with her unmarried son, daughter in law and grandkids so it wasn’t adding many more people to the equation.

She came back yesterday and said her holiday was nice and relaxing. This morning she came in and said she is thinking about going to get a Covid test just to be extra safe since she was around various family members over the past week. I tried to ask questions about how many exactly and what they were doing hit cannot get a straight answer. Sounds like she maybe dropped food off to someone’s house but didn’t go inside. Saw a couple people in her back yard.

I am giving her the time off tomorrow morning to go get tested but should I have her not come back until she gets the results which will likely mean through the end of the week? I am definitely worried if she thinks she needs a test out of precaution but it’s really bad timing since DH and I have insane weeks at work and it will be very hard to be without childcare.

What would you do? Would you be upset with your nanny about this seeming a bit deceitful? Should I say something to her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We gave our nanny the last two weeks of December off. Before the “break” we discussed what her plans were from a Covid perspective to ensure she was staying safe and could come back to work yesterday. She told us she would being doing a very low key Christmas with just her 3 kids (2 are married) and 2 grandkids. She lives with her unmarried son, daughter in law and grandkids so it wasn’t adding many more people to the equation.

She came back yesterday and said her holiday was nice and relaxing. This morning she came in and said she is thinking about going to get a Covid test just to be extra safe since she was around various family members over the past week. I tried to ask questions about how many exactly and what they were doing hit cannot get a straight answer. Sounds like she maybe dropped food off to someone’s house but didn’t go inside. Saw a couple people in her back yard.

I am giving her the time off tomorrow morning to go get tested but should I have her not come back until she gets the results which will likely mean through the end of the week? I am definitely worried if she thinks she needs a test out of precaution but it’s really bad timing since DH and I have insane weeks at work and it will be very hard to be without childcare.

What would you do? Would you be upset with your nanny about this seeming a bit deceitful? Should I say something to her?

Nanny =/ indentured servant, when they are on their own time you don't get to control them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We gave our nanny the last two weeks of December off. Before the “break” we discussed what her plans were from a Covid perspective to ensure she was staying safe and could come back to work yesterday. She told us she would being doing a very low key Christmas with just her 3 kids (2 are married) and 2 grandkids. She lives with her unmarried son, daughter in law and grandkids so it wasn’t adding many more people to the equation.

She came back yesterday and said her holiday was nice and relaxing. This morning she came in and said she is thinking about going to get a Covid test just to be extra safe since she was around various family members over the past week. I tried to ask questions about how many exactly and what they were doing hit cannot get a straight answer. Sounds like she maybe dropped food off to someone’s house but didn’t go inside. Saw a couple people in her back yard.

I am giving her the time off tomorrow morning to go get tested but should I have her not come back until she gets the results which will likely mean through the end of the week? I am definitely worried if she thinks she needs a test out of precaution but it’s really bad timing since DH and I have insane weeks at work and it will be very hard to be without childcare.

What would you do? Would you be upset with your nanny about this seeming a bit deceitful? Should I say something to her?

Nanny =/ indentured servant, when they are on their own time you don't get to control them

Completely agree and I am not upset she saw family, I am frustrated she came to work for a full day without saying anything and then said she was concerned about exposure the day after once she could have already exposed us. Wouldn’t the right thing to do be to get tested before coming back or give us a heads up?

[Anonymous]

I would be happy that I have the safest setup required by my workload and be a bit fatalistic about it. She can get tested on her lunch break/while kids nap, no need for a day off.
There are always risks. A single woman from a culture that isn’t big on large families is best as a nanny right now, but it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We gave our nanny the last two weeks of December off. Before the “break” we discussed what her plans were from a Covid perspective to ensure she was staying safe and could come back to work yesterday. She told us she would being doing a very low key Christmas with just her 3 kids (2 are married) and 2 grandkids. She lives with her unmarried son, daughter in law and grandkids so it wasn’t adding many more people to the equation.

She came back yesterday and said her holiday was nice and relaxing. This morning she came in and said she is thinking about going to get a Covid test just to be extra safe since she was around various family members over the past week. I tried to ask questions about how many exactly and what they were doing hit cannot get a straight answer. Sounds like she maybe dropped food off to someone’s house but didn’t go inside. Saw a couple people in her back yard.

I am giving her the time off tomorrow morning to go get tested but should I have her not come back until she gets the results which will likely mean through the end of the week? I am definitely worried if she thinks she needs a test out of precaution but it’s really bad timing since DH and I have insane weeks at work and it will be very hard to be without childcare.

What would you do? Would you be upset with your nanny about this seeming a bit deceitful? Should I say something to her?

Nanny =/ indentured servant, when they are on their own time you don't get to control them

Completely agree and I am not upset she saw family, I am frustrated she came to work for a full day without saying anything and then said she was concerned about exposure the day after once she could have already exposed us. Wouldn’t the right thing to do be to get tested before coming back or give us a heads up?

I think she is exploiting your covid fears and wants an extra day or three off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We gave our nanny the last two weeks of December off. Before the “break” we discussed what her plans were from a Covid perspective to ensure she was staying safe and could come back to work yesterday. She told us she would being doing a very low key Christmas with just her 3 kids (2 are married) and 2 grandkids. She lives with her unmarried son, daughter in law and grandkids so it wasn’t adding many more people to the equation.

She came back yesterday and said her holiday was nice and relaxing. This morning she came in and said she is thinking about going to get a Covid test just to be extra safe since she was around various family members over the past week. I tried to ask questions about how many exactly and what they were doing hit cannot get a straight answer. Sounds like she maybe dropped food off to someone’s house but didn’t go inside. Saw a couple people in her back yard.

I am giving her the time off tomorrow morning to go get tested but should I have her not come back until she gets the results which will likely mean through the end of the week? I am definitely worried if she thinks she needs a test out of precaution but it’s really bad timing since DH and I have insane weeks at work and it will be very hard to be without childcare.

What would you do? Would you be upset with your nanny about this seeming a bit deceitful? Should I say something to her?

Nanny =/ indentured servant, when they are on their own time you don't get to control them

Completely agree and I am not upset she saw family, I am frustrated she came to work for a full day without saying anything and then said she was concerned about exposure the day after once she could have already exposed us. Wouldn’t the right thing to do be to get tested before coming back or give us a heads up?

Yes, that would be the right thing to do. It’s very odd that she wouldn’t think to get herself tested until two days back at work. Perhaps she just thought about getting tested, or it could be that someone she saw tested positive or is now sick. I’d ask her to stay home and quarantine while she waits for results (paid out of her sick days or the Covid leave if applicable).

And while I agree that nannies aren’t indentured servants, it’s reasonable to ask about someone’s activities that could impact your family’s health when they work in your home. After all, these are unusual times. Besides, your nanny should be able to expect you to be honest about gatherings, travel, etc. and she should do the same for you. So, if you have reason to believe she isn’t being forthcoming and may have participated in more risky activities than she knows you’re comfortable with, I would consider looking for a new nanny. This one might not be the right fit.

[Anonymous]

Pay her for the missed time and let it go, if she’s otherwise a reliable and well loved nanny.

[Anonymous]

Who did you see over break? Maybe she’s afraid about what you did?

[Anonymous]

If she already came to work and doesn’t have symptoms I’d have her continue working. You can give her some time off for the test itself but she’s just trying to get time off if she didn’t test before coming back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who did you see over break? Maybe she’s afraid about what you did?

We saw no one and stayed home. Our families are a flight away and we didn’t want to take the risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she already came to work and doesn’t have symptoms I’d have her continue working. You can give her some time off for the test itself but she’s just trying to get time off if she didn’t test before coming back.

I told her to go get tested at a walk in clinic first thing in the morning and if she feels fine/has no symptoms then she can come back. I don’t think she would lie about feeling sick if she was not.

[Anonymous]

Does she wear a mask inside your house? If she feels the need to test, then she should wear a mask in your house until she gets the results.

[Anonymous]

Talk to her.

[Anonymous]

Do you honestly have an expectation that your nanny has not met any friends or relatives other than the people she lives with since last March? Dropping something off at a friends house without going in or chatting with her friends outdoors is definitely not something she should report to you or get permission for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We gave our nanny the last two weeks of December off. Before the “break” we discussed what her plans were from a Covid perspective to ensure she was staying safe and could come back to work yesterday. She told us she would being doing a very low key Christmas with just her 3 kids (2 are married) and 2 grandkids. She lives with her unmarried son, daughter in law and grandkids so it wasn’t adding many more people to the equation.

She came back yesterday and said her holiday was nice and relaxing. This morning she came in and said she is thinking about going to get a Covid test just to be extra safe since she was around various family members over the past week. I tried to ask questions about how many exactly and what they were doing hit cannot get a straight answer. Sounds like she maybe dropped food off to someone’s house but didn’t go inside. Saw a couple people in her back yard.

I am giving her the time off tomorrow morning to go get tested but should I have her not come back until she gets the results which will likely mean through the end of the week? I am definitely worried if she thinks she needs a test out of precaution but it’s really bad timing since DH and I have insane weeks at work and it will be very hard to be without childcare.

What would you do? Would you be upset with your nanny about this seeming a bit deceitful? Should I say something to her?

Nanny =/ indentured servant, when they are on their own time you don't get to control them

It does not sound like she was being deceitful. You asked what her plans were it did not mean those plans were set in stone.

At this point have her get tested and have her keep coming back to you. If you were exposed it would’ve already occurred so it’s meaningless to not have her come back. She will most likely be negative anyway.