Overshadowed Accomplishments

[Anonymous]

I was recently published and I have only shared it with my husband, my best friend and my sil. I am very critical and I see all the things wrong with the final edit. Oh well. It's done.

The problem is, my sil shared but on her social media and my mother saw it. I have shared here about my mother before. She abused bme most of my life, took my rapist side and just overall has let me down since I was born.

She calls my DH ( knowing I won't pick up, and will wait days to return the call) he puts it on speaker and I expect out usual 10 seconds call. Instead asks why she had to find the out about the article from sil/FB. Why I didn't send it to her. Telling me how proud she is and wants a copy to send to her friends and brag about me. Again how proud she is, that she sometimes gets mad at me but I'm still her baby....I'm just thinking go f yourself.

She isn't proud of me. She is excited to have something to share to FB that will get her attention. I feel gross and like I'm 10 years old again. I hate it. I can't even accept a compliment.


I guess the silver lining is her pretend interest/proud of me makes me recoil and cringe. I no longer long for her validation or to hear I'm proud of you. I can see it for what it is.

Still doesn't feel good.

[Anonymous]

What about not picking up at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was recently published and I have only shared it with my husband, my best friend and my sil. I am very critical and I see all the things wrong with the final edit. Oh well. It's done.

The problem is, my sil shared but on her social media and my mother saw it. I have shared here about my mother before. She abused bme most of my life, took my rapist side and just overall has let me down since I was born.

She calls my DH ( knowing I won't pick up, and will wait days to return the call) he puts it on speaker and I expect out usual 10 seconds call. Instead asks why she had to find the out about the article from sil/FB. Why I didn't send it to her. Telling me how proud she is and wants a copy to send to her friends and brag about me. Again how proud she is, that she sometimes gets mad at me but I'm still her baby....I'm just thinking go f yourself.

She isn't proud of me. She is excited to have something to share to FB that will get her attention. I feel gross and like I'm 10 years old again. I hate it. I can't even accept a compliment.


I guess the silver lining is her pretend interest/proud of me makes me recoil and cringe. I no longer long for her validation or to hear I'm proud of you. I can see it for what it is.

Still doesn't feel good.

Why would you return the call?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about not picking up at all?

A little late for that.

[Anonymous]

Have you done... any therapy at all? If so I don't think you had a very good therapist.

[Anonymous]

Block your mom completely, you and your DH both. Block anyone else who will not support that plan. Block numbers from both phones, email addresses, etc. May she never take your joy away again.

Congratulations on your published work! You should be proud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Block your mom completely, you and your DH both. Block anyone else who will not support that plan. Block numbers from both phones, email addresses, etc. May she never take your joy away again.

Congratulations on your published work! You should be proud.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Block her OP.

Your story sounds like mine. I was abused by my stepfather and stepbrother. Guess whose side she took?

When I entered an abusive marriage, and finally got out, I wasn’t speaking to her really. Because no surprise that someone who had been abused their whole life would end up that way.

When i finally left, and did speak to her, the only thing she had to say was to b*tch about the fact that I told my brother before her (because you know, I wasn’t speaking to her, and my brother helped me GET OUT).

I didn’t speak to her at all for 20+ years. Now it’s 100% on my terms.

Be proud, and don’t gauge your success on your mother’s reactions. You have overcome, and are doing amazingly by any rights, especially as it sounds like there may be pain behind it all.

Publishing!!!... amazing! I’m so happy for you! Ride that, and move forward with your research/work, as you seriously rock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Block your mom completely, you and your DH both. Block anyone else who will not support that plan. Block numbers from both phones, email addresses, etc. May she never take your joy away again.

Congratulations on your published work! You should be proud.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you done... any therapy at all? If so I don't think you had a very good therapist.

x1000 Same thought. OP, you have posted here before. It does not sound like you are making any progress and your posts are progressively more unhappy.

Are you actually working with a therapist?

[Anonymous]

Why do you or DH even have any contact with this person if a phone call like that made you recoil? I agree with all the pps, block her and get a new therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you done... any therapy at all? If so I don't think you had a very good therapist.

x1000 Same thought. OP, you have posted here before. It does not sound like you are making any progress and your posts are progressively more unhappy.

Are you actually working with a therapist?

Prove it.