I can’t get rid of my soon to be ex

[Anonymous]

We’ve been separated for years. I don’t want him back, but he’s fighting the divorce. He constantly shows up at my place uninvited and then we end up fighting with him cussing me out and threatening me (I have to threaten to call the cops to get him to leave), and he’s visiting my relatives trying to plea his case on how he’s trying so hard to make the marriage work (he’s not), but I’m the one who’s destroying the family by refusing to take him back. I really want to file a restraining order, but my child is the only reason I haven’t. I just don’t know what else to do. I just want to get divorced and get him out of my life!

[Anonymous]

A restraining order is the answer

[Anonymous]

This sounds terrifying. Read The Gift of Fear and act accordingly. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds terrifying. Read The Gift of Fear and act accordingly. Good luck.

It is terrifying! I try to avoid speaking to him because he turns everything into a screaming/name calling match then tells me it’s normal for married couples to “talk” to each other like that. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around him to avoid confrontation, but it always turns into one. I’m losing my sanity and my sleep!

[Anonymous]

Document everything. Get extra locks. Make sure he doesn’t have keys. Restraining order. Call the cops. Do not talk to him. He’s threatening you. Men kill women all the time. Do not let this happen to you.

[Anonymous]

No more talking. The second he shows up, call the cops. And get the restraining order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No more talking. The second he shows up, call the cops. And get the restraining order.

This. Change The locks on the door. Install security cameras. Get personal protection and know how to use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Document everything. Get extra locks. Make sure he doesn’t have keys. Restraining order. Call the cops. Do not talk to him. He’s threatening you. Men kill women all the time. Do not let this happen to you.

This

[Anonymous]

OP, if he kills you and gets away with it, do your want this ‘man’ raising your child? Get a restraining order ASAP. Tell everyone you know about his behaviour. Tell your lawyer about him.

[Anonymous]

my sister was murdered by her estranged husband during a court mandated visitation with their baby. Seriously, don't be alone with him, move if you have to, file a restraining order, and divorce his ass. Also, keep in mind that divorcing will be the most dangerous point in your relationship.

[Anonymous]

Video camera. Restraining order. Child transfer in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my sister was murdered by her estranged husband during a court mandated visitation with their baby. Seriously, don't be alone with him, move if you have to, file a restraining order, and divorce his ass. Also, keep in mind that divorcing will be the most dangerous point in your relationship.

I'm so sorry, PP. I hope that monster is in prison for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my sister was murdered by her estranged husband during a court mandated visitation with their baby. Seriously, don't be alone with him, move if you have to, file a restraining order, and divorce his ass. Also, keep in mind that divorcing will be the most dangerous point in your relationship.

That’s what I’m afraid of...

[Anonymous]

You should connect with a battered women's hotline, and ask for advice on how to proceed with the restraining order and the divorce. They will have advice about how to do these things in the safest manner. Meanwhile, document all episodes of unwanted communication and call the police each and every time. No need to warn him. Call the police. Call all your relatives to say that he may pose a physical threat to you and to not give him any new information about you. Get a lawyer. Think about where to go in an emergency and think about moving somewhere else permanently. Have a go bag ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should connect with a battered women's hotline, and ask for advice on how to proceed with the restraining order and the divorce. They will have advice about how to do these things in the safest manner. Meanwhile, document all episodes of unwanted communication and call the police each and every time. No need to warn him. Call the police. Call all your relatives to say that he may pose a physical threat to you and to not give him any new information about you. Get a lawyer. Think about where to go in an emergency and think about moving somewhere else permanently. Have a go bag ready.

I had a boyfriend who went around me when I broke up and tried to stay in touch with my family. I had to sit down with my parents and my brothers and say very explicitly - this guy is bad news, I know you don’t realize it because I haven’t shared all the ugly details but I’m asking you to cut contact. Once I was exicit, my family was very helpful.