When does newborn stage get easier?

[Anonymous]

4 weeks in. Life feels like such a drudge with nothing to look forward to. Everyday is an endless cycle of feed, poop and sleep deprivation. Baby is a slow eater and my storage capacity is low so he eats every 2 hours, for 45 minutes each feed, which means I’m spending literally half my day feeding him. He also won’t sleep except in my arms so I spend the next hour holding him and then the cycle repeats. DH is working and I have no help- we have no family in the area and cannot afford to hire help. I feel like there is nothing to look forward to anymore- not in a PPD way, just in the sense that I don’t do anything I enjoy at all and everyday is just an endless tunnel of getting through to the next day. I am not depressed, just weary. When does it get better? Please give me some hope.

[Anonymous]

Had my first baby in April. First 3-4 months are a slog, but it does get so much better - I promise! A few suggestions: (1) Wear earphones and watch TV on phone while baby is sleeping in you arms. (2) Take a walk with baby in stroller for a nap (or if baby won't nap in stroller, in a baby carrier). Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

That's how it is for a while. After my first, I couldn't WAIT to go back to work when she was 4 months old. To have coffee and go for a walk by myself! Bliss!

The great news is...you're already 4 weeks in! Soon the kid will start being worth it by smiling and giggling and giving you some feedback for all the work you're putting in.

Your DH needs to give you 1-2 hours of you time everyday. Yes, he's working, but I think that tending to a baby all day is a much heavier lift. With those precious minutes you can poop by yourself, shower, exercise, go for a walk and answer to no one. That's what I looked forward to each day. Having DH come home so I could be by myself for a minute.

[Anonymous]

Hang in there. 8 weeks is better and then 12 weeks is much much better. They get faster at eating and it goes down to 20 min. The first 3 months are called the 4th trimester for a reason. Try a swing for a day time nap to give your hands a break while you watch him.

[Anonymous]

It definitely gets better. The cycle you're in is totally normal for this stage. Every baby is different: My first baby had a harder time breastfeeding and sleeping, and I think we turned the first corner at 6 weeks when she started to latch, then another at about 7-8 weeks when she started napping in the rock-n-play, then another around 12 weeks when she started sleeping closer to four-hour stretches, etc. My second baby latched in the recovery room and was sleeping through the night in his crib by four months (but is now hell on wheels as a toddler).

People here will tell you you're in the trenches. This is true; right now you're in the newborn trenches, the drudgery of endless eat-sleep-poop, the worrying about breastmilk/supply issues if you're breastfeeding, the lack of sleep, the lack of stimulation. I can only imagine how much worse it is these days when you can't really have visitors or get out much. One thing that helped with this for me was finding a good trash reality TV show to mindlessly hook on to. In my case with baby #2, it was Vanderpump Rules and I watched every episode of every season by the time maternity leave was over. It wasn't anything requiring brainpower, it was just entertaining/distracting in exactly the right way.

[Anonymous]

Every 2 weeks from here on out gets easier. 6 weeks breastfeeding got better. 8 weeks baby started smiling. Etc.

Agree with a PP on watching a lot of TV and getting outside every day that you can. As baby gets a little older, it also helps to create a sort of "schedule" beyond just eat/poop/sleep. For example every day at 4 PM was laundry folding time and as baby got a few weeks older it became a little game waving the clothes while listening to music. Silly things like that.

I also think it would be helpful to join a virtual new moms group for two reasons: 1. It helps a lot just to have someplace you need to be, even if for now due to COVID that's a weekly zoom chat. You need something to look forward to. And 2. once the weather gets better and covid numbers improve, you will have mom friends you can safely go do things with like outdoor distanced picnics and walks. Once you can get out with the baby and see other moms on maternity leave, it makes a huge difference. You start to feel like a person again.

[Anonymous]

It gets better but it gets better very gradually. I’m so sorry. You will get through this but keep your expectations low.

[Anonymous]

Eight weeks. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

It gets easier at 6 weeks (when they smile and interact), 6 months (when they can sit up), and 18 months (when they can really talk). At least that was the rough timing for my daughters.

[Anonymous]

It gets better slowly.

[Anonymous]

I had a similar baby, feeding every 2 hours for 45 minutes for the first 6 weeks (frequency due to drs orders for low birth weight, duration due to slowness). If feeding hasn't improved by 8-12 weeks, you may want to consider if it is worth it to BF.

Weeks ~6-8 can be hard with more crying than the early weeks, so be prepared. but there is more smiles!

Around 3-4 months the crying got better. Around 6 months was great, and it just kept improving from there. My kiddo started sleeping fully through the night at 9 months (was waking at 4 am for a feed before that). She FINALLY started taking naps longer than 40 minutes around a similar time. Laughs/giggles. Crawling. I quit BF/pumping at 12 months, which really helped. 18-30 months has been delightful as he's learned to talk.

[Anonymous]

Breastfeeding will probably get better in the next couple weeks. When baby starts smiling in a couple weeks or so that will help.

[Anonymous]

Oh girl....I've been there. TWICE! It does get better. I promise! I swear the first two weeks are a honeymoon period and don't seem so bad because you're so in love with your baby and the sleep deprivation takes a while to set in. Four weeks is about the worst. Honestly. In about two weeks it will start to get better. Hang in there! I mean, what other choice do you have....LOL

[Anonymous]

Oh girl....I've been there. TWICE! It does get better. I promise! I swear the first two weeks are a honeymoon period and don't seem so bad because you're so in love with your baby and the sleep deprivation takes a while to set in. Four weeks is about the worst. Honestly. In about two weeks it will start to get better. Hang in there! I mean, what other choice do you have....LOL

[Anonymous]

Once you start having a regular schedule of sleep again. Usuallly when the baby can sleep for at least 6 hours, no matter the time of day. If you can sleep when the baby sleeps that will help you function while you have time off from work to let the little things around the house go.