Have you met a great guy but..

[Anonymous]

The size was an issue. It was huge turn off. He was a fantastic man and I was sad but I couldn’t do it. He’s now dating a great, beautiful woman and I can’t decide if I’m just shallow or if she is able to look past it. Has this happened to you? Do you judge if the fit isn’t right-like at all? Dating would be so much easier if this weren’t an issue.

[Anonymous]

It's shallow, but you can't really control that. If you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it. No shame in that.

It would be worse to continue dating him solely because he's a "fantastic man" only to become increasingly resentful because you're unsatisfied.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think “shallow” is really the word for it. It’s just incompatibility. And I think there’s more variation in preference about this than media suggests. The guy I dated before DH was a horse. It was sort of awful. DH is more manageable and I prefer it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think “shallow” is really the word for it. It’s just incompatibility. And I think there’s more variation in preference about this than media suggests. The guy I dated before DH was a horse. It was sort of awful. DH is more manageable and I prefer it.

True.

There is something to be said for being "practical for daily use."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The size was an issue. It was huge turn off. He was a fantastic man and I was sad but I couldn’t do it. He’s now dating a great, beautiful woman and I can’t decide if I’m just shallow or if she is able to look past it. Has this happened to you? Do you judge if the fit isn’t right-like at all? Dating would be so much easier if this weren’t an issue.

It's just incompatibility and that's ok. Maybe she isn't that into PIV and he's good in other areas. Or she isn't very sexual, which describes a lot more women than you think.

[Anonymous]

Height never bothered me.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, this happened to me. It was kind of awful because this was with a colleague, and we had had a friendship/flirtation for a year prior to sleeping together. We had such a great, trusting, comfortable relationship, and it felt so right to take things to the next level. But he had a micro (surprise!), and I couldn't deal; I'm not even sure what he was capable of doing was actual sex at all. The end of our relationship was terrible.

I understand, OP. I don't think it is shallow, though it is a wretched situation for all concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think “shallow” is really the word for it. It’s just incompatibility. And I think there’s more variation in preference about this than media suggests. The guy I dated before DH was a horse. It was sort of awful. DH is more manageable and I prefer it.

Right? If she were shallow they might be a match.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she can handle more LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she can handle more LOL

Or maybe she is not loose and a goose

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, this happened to me. It was kind of awful because this was with a colleague, and we had had a friendship/flirtation for a year prior to sleeping together. We had such a great, trusting, comfortable relationship, and it felt so right to take things to the next level. But he had a micro (surprise!), and I couldn't deal; I'm not even sure what he was capable of doing was actual sex at all. The end of our relationship was terrible.

I understand, OP. I don't think it is shallow, though it is a wretched situation for all concerned.

?

Then how did you sleep with him?

[Anonymous]

Happened to me too. I need good sex, so we weren’t a match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, this happened to me. It was kind of awful because this was with a colleague, and we had had a friendship/flirtation for a year prior to sleeping together. We had such a great, trusting, comfortable relationship, and it felt so right to take things to the next level. But he had a micro (surprise!), and I couldn't deal; I'm not even sure what he was capable of doing was actual sex at all. The end of our relationship was terrible.

I understand, OP. I don't think it is shallow, though it is a wretched situation for all concerned.

?

Then how did you sleep with him?

I don't understand your question. We slept together and he had difficulty with penetration because he has a micro, so I am not even sure it counts as real sex. I was shocked and unsure what to do so just let him do what he wanted.

[Anonymous]

Not shallow at all. Why would you bother to continue in a relationship where you weren’t physically compatible from the beginning? I’m sure he’ll find someone who doesn’t mind.

[Anonymous]

If I met someone and had this attitude I would not classify this person as “great”. Sexual compatibility is a huge part of the package to fall into that category. It is part of the glue a strong couple needs.

The mutual attraction and compatibility will keep you both sane when tough times come. It is much easier to deal with normal annoyances when sparks still fly in the bedroom. Otherwise you may end up on snapped.

Joining with someone you don’t really like in bed is like setting yourself up for failure by taking 3 steps back from the start line.