Help me with not “keeping up with the Jones’”

[Anonymous]

I have been really into doing small projects in the house during COVID and interested in replacing some furniture. As “middle class” (defined broadly) people I do like shopping but am always cost conscious- most furniture is ikea, wayfair, world market... but i’m so drawn to west elm, anthropologie, etc.

I want to know how much to let myself splurge guilt-free... is it crazy to spend $500 on a coffee table or $3k on a new couch??

Are the people shopping at C&B and West Elm people like me, or do they have a lot more wealth? I was hoping to get a real understanding on this anonymous forum.

Stats for reference: 40-yr-old couple with 7&4 yr old kids, $250k hhi, $750k in retirement and college savings, $75k cash savings, save an additional $4k-ish a month after expenses.

[Anonymous]

You can afford it every once in a while.

[Anonymous]

I love these questions where you ask permission to spend money

[Anonymous]

With a 4 year old, I’d wait another 2 years to splurge on a couch. But a couch is worth it. It’s something that you use and see every day.

I am in a similar place financially, and I spent almost 2K on a quality dining table a few years ago. Every time I sit at it, which is at least twice a day, it brings me joy. And it still looks perfect.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand, are you asking if this fits in your budget, or whether it’s socially acceptable, or whether it should feel okay emotionally? People with the same income will spend a hugely varying amount on home furnishings. It’s a priority for some people and not for others. If you have a budget that meets your goals and you want to spend $x on furniture, go for it.

$3k is mid range for a sofa. You should be able to get a nice sofa in a stock fabric for that. Make sure it has a hardwood frame made in the US.

[Anonymous]

West Elm is barely better quality than IKEA, but C&B and PB are definitely better built furniture.

General rule of thumb, C&B and PB furniture is tongue and groove furniture, with solid wood veneers at least and delivered fully assembled. These pieces will last 40 years and multiple moves, no problem. Now the style may die, but the piece is built for the duration.

Wayfair (which is just a drop shipper), IKEA, are stuff you buy when you are young and poor. The furniture probably won’t survive a move, or if it does, you will need to glue some things back together.

We are done moving, but we have young kids so still have a LOT of IKEA, b/c the kids ruin everything, so need to wait till they are older before getting “investment” furniture.

[Anonymous]

I’d judge you if you were upgrading an already good couch just because you want something new. If you have an IKEA couch that’s at the end of its life then yes upgrade! Cheap crap is wasteful (Wayfair and world market are worse offenders than ikea in that regard in my opinion) also, Anthropologie may look good but once you read reviews you realize a lot of it is actually not that well made.

For what it’s worth we only make 105k, and have outfitted our home with thrift and ikea. There is amazingly nice furniture available on Craigslist and at estate sales. I got my couch at the crate and barrel outlet in Alexandria after a second markdown for $750. Just because I’m poor by dcum standards doesn’t mean I can’t be a snob and have taste. If I had your income I would be buying even higher quality stuff yes, but I still enjoy the hunt of deals and vintage. Enjoy shopping, don’t go the easy online crap order route.

[Anonymous]

$250k HHI and $750k in retirement at age 40 is far greater than “middle class.” Only on DCUM - 🤦‍♀️

[Anonymous]

You're not middle class. You're rich.

[Anonymous]

my stats are the same as you and all our furniture is Room and Board or C&B. My kids are 4 and 6 and I have 2 sofas that were $2-3k and holding up just fine. The kids have IKEA in their rooms.

I would describe you (and me) and upper middle class. I think your budget can afford some decent mid-range furniture from Room and Board or Arhaus or whatever your style is. I feel like a bum in my house - most of my peers seems to have professionally decorated houses with original mid-century mixed with Design Within Reach and Artifact knock offs or expensive looking Italian modern furniture and kids rooms all decked out as accessorized like a pottery barn catalog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my stats are the same as you and all our furniture is Room and Board or C&B. My kids are 4 and 6 and I have 2 sofas that were $2-3k and holding up just fine. The kids have IKEA in their rooms.

I would describe you (and me) and upper middle class. I think your budget can afford some decent mid-range furniture from Room and Board or Arhaus or whatever your style is. I feel like a bum in my house - most of my peers seems to have professionally decorated houses with original mid-century mixed with Design Within Reach and Artifact knock offs or expensive looking Italian modern furniture and kids rooms all decked out as accessorized like a pottery barn catalog.

Oh and don’t buy Anthro for furniture - it’s trendy and poorly made. If you are going to get something you don’t assemble yourself, get decent materials.

[Anonymous]

We have a ridiculous amount of money but I’m the ultimate bargain shopper. I’m happy to know we can outspend the Jones’s but we don’t need to do.

[Anonymous]

500 for a coffe table is cheap! Same with your couches.

[Anonymous]

I mean, you can obviously spend the money if it will make you happy. But we make $450k and the last time we needed a new couch I had the thought "we're doing well, we can afford better than IKEA!!" and searched around and around and around, and the only couch I could find that I liked as much as the IKEA couch I was replacing was $8k.

I can afford an $8k couch, but I'm not buying an $8k couch. We went to IKEA.

[Anonymous]

A someone who is sitting on my sofa eating popcorn playing super Mario Brothers with 3 other humans, I don't spend much on furniture we use. All that matters is comfort.


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