My husband is so selfish

[Anonymous]

He walks around the house with airpods in so you can never tell if he's on a work call or not. He'll start a conversation, and then when I respond, he'll point to his airpods and say he's on a call. He wakes up late, works out, then does his work and comes upstairs when it's convenient for him. Meanwhile, I'm doing all the kid stuff (so many meals and snacks) and managing a very needy child and his virtual schooling. I'm taking the kids out on breaks/afterschool so they don't become permanent lumps on a log in COVID times. My husband takes long walks on some his calls. Oh, and I'm doing all of this while also trying to balance my own work.

Just now I'm in the middle of reviewing a work memo and my husband runs inside the house telling me he needs me to go out and put all the bikes he was just working on inside the garage so he can go take a work call. WTF!!! He expects me to just drop everything for him and his work.

I feel like hired help. Not like a partner or spouse. This has been going on for months.

[Anonymous]

Ok. So what do you plan to do about it.

[Anonymous]

OP - edited to add, my husband takes long walks by himself (not with the kids). He does NOTHING with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok. So what do you plan to do about it.

I told him to schedule the therapy session we have both agreed we need. He asked me, "Is anything wrong?" ha!

[Anonymous]

Start wearing headphones plugged into your phone. Point to them and say, "Not now, I'm on a work call."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start wearing headphones plugged into your phone. Point to them and say, "Not now, I'm on a work call."

OP here. HA!!!! I love this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. So what do you plan to do about it.

I told him to schedule the therapy session we have both agreed we need. He asked me, "Is anything wrong?" ha!

You need to tell him. "Yes, I'm feeling overburdened by our home life and the way it currently functions. I am hoping this will help us sort through this issue."

[Anonymous]

Why don't you just tell your kids "Go ask Daddy, I'm working now."?

If you make him food, definitely stop. Go on walks during YOUR calls. Train your kids to ask their dad for things.

[Anonymous]

He's a genius. I'm stealing this tactic.

[Anonymous]

Assign certain hours of the day as your work time. Lock yourself away and do not come out for any reason. I suggest 5 to 9 PM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's a genius. I'm stealing this tactic.

No he isn't , I can ignore somebody without anything in my ears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start wearing headphones plugged into your phone. Point to them and say, "Not now, I'm on a work call."

OP here. HA!!!! I love this.

+1

Definitely mimic back his BS. See how he likes it. Pretend it's no big deal, just like he does. You have stuff to do too, OP.

There will be a poster that comes on here to tell you divorce, or criticize you and how you tolerate this nonsense. Truth is, everyone has their burden, no relationship is perfect, and there are some people who just like to pile it on because they are miserable. Glad you have received some constructive responses, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - edited to add, my husband takes long walks by himself (not with the kids). He does NOTHING with the kids.

I do not understand how women allow the men to get away with this sh1t.

And so what are you doing about it other than coming on here to commiserate?

Yes, it would be nice if more dads were more aware that children need to be supervised, and that dads should engage more with kids. Unfortunately, many don't realize it or just plain don't care. So, yes, you have to be a mommy to your husbands and tell them how to parent.

[Anonymous]

grow a pair and ask for what you want.

[Anonymous]

Funny I am often the one doing this to DH