Considering boarding school - son currently in 7th grade

[Anonymous]

Son is in FCPS.
He loves school - or at least he did, before COVID. He is highly social. He has never been prepped or tutored and is doing well in AAP, immersion language, and Algebra 1 HN in spite of it being virtual. He is interested in social issues and history, and is a very solid swimmer on a year round team.

The reasons I am considering boarding school for him for 9th (and maybe even 8th) are several, as I see them:

1. Complete failure of FCPS to provide an environment where my son can learn and grow socially (and he has a large social appetite) and this is important
2. Opportunities for independence. He wants this but in our current situation he just doesn’t have this
3. More academic rigor. He’s actually complained about this in current school.
4. My job as parent would change from feeding/driving/micromanaging to a different type of parental relationship, maybe sort of an advisor
5. His dad will be overseas for several years. My career is also demanding. We do get good time off from our jobs but when I’m working it’s intense. We’re divorced. Selling house soon and may move around a little. Boarding school would be stable.

Does this sound like a good situation for him? Where could we reasonably expect him to get in where he would thrive? Dad’s family will pay for it.

[Anonymous]

What does your son think? He’s old enough to be asked.

St james in MD does great open houses and their admissions staff is very responsive and helpful.

Maybe the only way to get a feel is to do a peek?

We did but don’t think we are ready and like our DMV options. But taking the peek help confirm that.

[Anonymous]

You are a parent. If you don’t want to parent, just say so. Your son can get a good education while he is living with you unless you live in the middle of nowhere. Sounds like you just want to be done with parenting from your post and those are some reasons to justify it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are a parent. If you don’t want to parent, just say so. Your son can get a good education while he is living with you unless you live in the middle of nowhere. Sounds like you just want to be done with parenting from your post and those are some reasons to justify it.

You have no idea what you are talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Son is in FCPS.
He loves school - or at least he did, before COVID. He is highly social. He has never been prepped or tutored and is doing well in AAP, immersion language, and Algebra 1 HN in spite of it being virtual. He is interested in social issues and history, and is a very solid swimmer on a year round team.

The reasons I am considering boarding school for him for 9th (and maybe even 8th) are several, as I see them:

1. Complete failure of FCPS to provide an environment where my son can learn and grow socially (and he has a large social appetite) and this is important
2. Opportunities for independence. He wants this but in our current situation he just doesn’t have this
3. More academic rigor. He’s actually complained about this in current school.
4. My job as parent would change from feeding/driving/micromanaging to a different type of parental relationship, maybe sort of an advisor
5. His dad will be overseas for several years. My career is also demanding. We do get good time off from our jobs but when I’m working it’s intense. We’re divorced. Selling house soon and may move around a little. Boarding school would be stable.

Does this sound like a good situation for him? Where could we reasonably expect him to get in where he would thrive? Dad’s family will pay for it.

Stop blaming COVID and the school system. This isn't a covid issue. Send the kid to live with Dad. That's pretty sad that you don't want to parent and your career is the priority. He needs that social outlet as he has two uninvolved parents who don't want him living with them.

[Anonymous]

Loomis Chaffee (connecticut)
St Andrews (de)
Mercersburg (PA)
all are strong academically - have a decent swim program
all start in 9th

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a parent. If you don’t want to parent, just say so. Your son can get a good education while he is living with you unless you live in the middle of nowhere. Sounds like you just want to be done with parenting from your post and those are some reasons to justify it.

You have no idea what you are talking about.

Read the post. It was clear she was done, Dad is going overseas and its unclear if he'd take him...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does your son think? He’s old enough to be asked.

St james in MD does great open houses and their admissions staff is very responsive and helpful.

Maybe the only way to get a feel is to do a peek?

We did but don’t think we are ready and like our DMV options. But taking the peek help confirm that.

There are a lot of boarding school haters out there.

Your situations sounds very appropriate for a good boarding school. Take him on visits and tour. The tours are virtual now. You should do a few this year to get an idea and get his feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Son is in FCPS.
He loves school - or at least he did, before COVID. He is highly social. He has never been prepped or tutored and is doing well in AAP, immersion language, and Algebra 1 HN in spite of it being virtual. He is interested in social issues and history, and is a very solid swimmer on a year round team.

The reasons I am considering boarding school for him for 9th (and maybe even 8th) are several, as I see them:

1. Complete failure of FCPS to provide an environment where my son can learn and grow socially (and he has a large social appetite) and this is important
2. Opportunities for independence. He wants this but in our current situation he just doesn’t have this
3. More academic rigor. He’s actually complained about this in current school.
4. My job as parent would change from feeding/driving/micromanaging to a different type of parental relationship, maybe sort of an advisor
5. His dad will be overseas for several years. My career is also demanding. We do get good time off from our jobs but when I’m working it’s intense. We’re divorced. Selling house soon and may move around a little. Boarding school would be stable.

Does this sound like a good situation for him? Where could we reasonably expect him to get in where he would thrive? Dad’s family will pay for it.

Stop blaming COVID and the school system. This isn't a covid issue. Send the kid to live with Dad. That's pretty sad that you don't want to parent and your career is the priority. He needs that social outlet as he has two uninvolved parents who don't want him living with them.

He may not want to go with Dad. Dad is going overseas for 3 years. It might not be a place DS wants to go to.
And yes, aside from making sure my kids are healthy and happy, my career is a priority. I am not going to apologize for that and I do not believe it makes me a bad mom. And I believe my son is the kind of kid who would be happy and healthy at boarding school.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. Just wanted to give you some solidarity. We're sending our 6th grader to boarding school in January. It is absolutely the only decision for the mental health of our entire family. Yes, we will be harshly judged as parents but if 2020 has taught us anything it's that you need to do what is best for YOUR family. Definitely go North for schools though unless your are looking at Episcopal. Good luck with the decision! Boarding school can be an amazing experience for many kids. Hope it is the case with yours!

[Anonymous]

Certainties in life, in addition to death and taxes, now include getting torched on DCUM without justification.

I went to boarding school for grades 9-12, at one of the schools a prior poster listed. My parents loved me greatly but all things considered (mostly the crappy schools local to where we lived at the time), it was the best option.

Let your DC explore it! Check out the schools. They have a lot to offer. Maybe you will like one, maybe you won't. But do look.

[Anonymous]

Fwiw, St James starts in 8th.

[Anonymous]

I think it sounds like Boarding School is the right fit. Please ignore everyone who says it means you don't want to parent. I think boarding schools are excellent for the kids who are the right fit. I went to boarding school (based on my own request) and my parents completely supported me. I was infinitely more prepared for college than my peers--both socially, emotionally and academically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Loomis Chaffee (connecticut)
St Andrews (de)
Mercersburg (PA)
all are strong academically - have a decent swim program
all start in 9th

Why not start with top tier schools...Exeter, Andover, Choate. Also your role as a parent can switch to advisor/consultant anyway, even if your kids doesn't go to boarding school. Take a PEP class, they are big on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it sounds like Boarding School is the right fit. Please ignore everyone who says it means you don't want to parent. I think boarding schools are excellent for the kids who are the right fit. I went to boarding school (based on my own request) and my parents completely supported me. I was infinitely more prepared for college than my peers--both socially, emotionally and academically.

I agree with letting your son explore his options. I don't think you would be shirking your responsibility as a parent by going this route if this is something your son wants.

There are a few, or maybe only one, person here who just tells every person who is struggling with their kids and COVID that they don't want to parent. As a mother of a HS senior, I can tell you that one of the biggest problems with this situation is that I want to parent too much and under these circumstances, I do too much for my son. The teen years are a transition from home to adulthood, and overparenting is almost as harmful not being involved at all. Our children need to develop independence, and I can tell you that despite my best effort, this year at home doing DL is not helping that. We have our fingers crossed for a positive college experience next year. For a younger student who enjoys academics, I can see why boarding school would be the way to go.

Best of luck to you and your son.