Considering boarding school - son currently in 7th grade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a parent. If you don’t want to parent, just say so. Your son can get a good education while he is living with you unless you live in the middle of nowhere. Sounds like you just want to be done with parenting from your post and those are some reasons to justify it.

People like you are such assholes. Seriously, how do you sleep at night knowing you are incredibly rude to people you don't know.

And by the way, your post says way more about you than you think it does. You think you're superior but you're actually just a small-minded, petty, insecure person.

I have no dog in this fight because I didn't go to boarding school and my kids are so young we haven't considered it, but I can't stand assholes like you.

+1

DS is in private (7th) and we've never considered boarding school so I too have no dog in this fight but wanted to agree that the PP is an asshole. Stop shaming people for wanting to find the best option for their kid as possible (education wise, socially etc.) - even if this mom were staying put, it sounds like her DS would benefit from boarding school during Covid times considering those kids are living in a pre-covid bubble and are having a mostly normal school experience. If I lived near a boarding school, because that's not something we are looking to do for our family during normal times, then I'd consider it for at least a couple of school years considering we're still going to be dealing with this through next school year. DS is getting distance learning four days for full pay and no social/sports life - again, I'd consider it right now if it worked for us.

Especially if he is an only child. This time period must be especially challenging for divorced parents who have an only child. At this stage in life, most kids rely heavily on their friends for support. Boarding school would be a great opportunity for this.

They should be able to look at their parents for support. Kids go to friends because they aren't getting the support at home.

My niece is in a similar position and really liked Lawrenceville. She also is applying to Choate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we have 2 kids who have gone (or are in) boarding schools. I know there are several boarding schools that start in MS, but I"m not personally familiar with them so I can't really help there, sorry. But I can tell you that I have personal experience with:

Northfield Mount Hermon
Deerfield
Brooks
Governor's Academy
Groton
Exeter
St. George's
Portsmouth Abbey
Millbury
Holderness
Tabor
St. Marks


My kids went/are going to 2 of these and we spent a lot of time looking at and/or applying to the rest on this list. I wouldn't hesitate to send a kid to any of them. It's all about the fit and how your DS feels about the school. Fit is really important, I wouldn't get hung up on rankings or "best" schools, personally. Some are smaller and more nurturing, some are larger and more academically rigorous--but they are all academically good.

Boarding school can be a fantastic experience, as long as this is what your DS wants. I can't stress that part enough, though. It would be miserable for a child who doesn't want to go, especially for one as young as your son.

GL, and also try College Confidential forums, they have a whole section for boarding schools. You won't find any of the anti-boarding school shrews that pop up here.

I have friends who’ve worked at NMH. Nothing but amazing things to say about their work and the kids. Makes this public school educator jealous tbh. They have some really great experiences intellectually and socially. Wish we could provide that for our kids.

[Anonymous]

OP, as long as your son wants to explore boarding schools, he sounds like a great candidate who could benefit. I *really* wanted to go boarding school as a kid - had great parents but we lived in a small Southern town with highly mediocre schools and I dreamed of something more academic. I would have had to get a scholarship to go, but they wouldn’t even let me apply (because it just wasn’t anything on their radar screen - and they probably felt like they would have been judged). By the time my much younger brother came along, they were more open to it. He got into one of the new public boarding schools for gifted kids that some states with rural schools offer.

[Anonymous]

We have a friend whose daughter attends the Hill School in Pennsylvania and she absolutely loves it! I would recommend that your son goes there. It’s co-ed.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. I can see you are a caring parent and are trying to find the best environment for your child under difficult circumstances. The haters are gonna hate, and I cringe at the posters questioning your motives. My advice is this, though. If your divorce is very recent and your son has not experienced and thrived in a stable “new normal” living arrangement post-divorce, boarding school might look like an attractive option but it could prove damaging in the long run. My sister did this when the logistics of shared custody seemed too complicated to work. She convinced herself that boarding school would be a compassionate avenue for giving my nephew a sense of stability. In fact it created long lasting emotional difficulties because he felt like he’d been warehoused at a time when he needed reassurance that one or both parents truly wanted him in their daily lives. He was emotionally lost. What he really needed was stability in knowing both parents wanted him and that the divorce was not his fault. Please think this through.

[Anonymous]

I liked Baylor in Chattanooga when I toured it. It feels a bit Southern but the kids seemed down to earth. It’s a quick flight from Dulles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a parent. If you don’t want to parent, just say so. Your son can get a good education while he is living with you unless you live in the middle of nowhere. Sounds like you just want to be done with parenting from your post and those are some reasons to justify it.

People like you are such assholes. Seriously, how do you sleep at night knowing you are incredibly rude to people you don't know.

And by the way, your post says way more about you than you think it does. You think you're superior but you're actually just a small-minded, petty, insecure person.

I have no dog in this fight because I didn't go to boarding school and my kids are so young we haven't considered it, but I can't stand assholes like you.

Amen. What a jerk.

[Anonymous]

I went to boarding school for high school. I had no idea it was because my parents didn't want to parent! Who knew?!?

I loved it and turned out just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. Just wanted to give you some solidarity. We're sending our 6th grader to boarding school in January. It is absolutely the only decision for the mental health of our entire family. Yes, we will be harshly judged as parents but if 2020 has taught us anything it's that you need to do what is best for YOUR family. Definitely go North for schools though unless your are looking at Episcopal. Good luck with the decision! Boarding school can be an amazing experience for many kids. Hope it is the case with yours!

Yes, yes you are harshly judged. Sending a 6th grader to boarding school? Are you insane? That’s horrific. Maybe get some parenting and family counseling if having your 6th grader live at home causes such upheaval to your family’s mental health.

[Anonymous]

I went to boarding school for high school. My idea. Parents were stressed about it but let me go. We were in a rural area and I really needed the academic challenge. It was awesome! I'm super close to my parents.

[Anonymous]

Concord Academy, MA

[Anonymous]

St. Andrews is a really incredible school. I wouldn’t overlook it.

[Anonymous]

I went to Hotchkiss in Lakeville, CT. It was a wonderful experience and plan to send me children.

https://www.hotchkiss.org/

[Anonymous]

You're an amazing parent for considering this option for your child. In our area boarding school is not well received, in general. People think its for kids that have issues or parents that dont want thier dis at home (neither of which is true).

I am a product of boarding school. My family's reasons for sending me were different than your child, but the thing in common is that it had nothing to do with my parents not wanting to parent or me not doing well in school.

Provided your son is excited about this opportunity, it will be a remarkable experience for him. I fully agree wtih the recommendations to look to New England, where there will 100% be a school that is the right fit for him.

[Anonymous]

Mercersburg in PA completed construction an Olympic sized aquatic center last year; they have a nationally-known swimming program. It is a lovely community, very kind but also rigorous, and less than 2 hours from DC. VERY generous with financial aid - have one of the largest endowments in the private school world.