2yo always getting into 7yo’s stuff
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Anonymous
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Would love some advice. We have 7.5 year old and 2 year old DD’s. We have a playroom where we keep the younger one’s toys but my older one loves to arrange elaborate set ups for her dolls, animals and little figures so we have her do that in her room so the 2yo doesn’t destroy it all daily. This was fine for a while but now our 2yo knows her sister has so much fun stuff in her room and constantly wants to go in there. It’s a constant struggle because our older one doesn’t want the younger one in her room (because she does mess things up) and telling our younger one that she can’t go in there 50 times per day has resulted in non-stop tantrums. Our house is all on one floor so there is no way to prevent the younger one from going to her older sister’s door and banging on it. Part of the problem is that DD sets everything up on the floor so it’s in reach of her little sister and won’t put things on her dresser so she can’t get to them. For the past week we have been telling older DD that she has to let younger DD in her room so we don’t make it a constant battle with the younger one and older DD has been extremely frustrated that her stuff is constantly being moved around or knocked down. I totally understand her frustration on the one hand, but am not sure it’s reasonable for her sister to just never be allowed in her room. DH and I always try to clean things up and help reset her play schemes but she says we don’t do it right.
I am curious how others handle younger siblings wanting their older siblings’ stuff and to be in their space. Are their rooms 100% off limits? Or is this an instance where the older one needs to suck it up and learn to share? Guessing it’s some mix of both but don’t where to draw the line... and everyone being home 24/7 has made this a multiple times per day battle. |
Anonymous
| If they don’t share a room it is not fair to allow younger daughter in older daughter’s room when you know it will wreak havoc. Sounds like you are doing it for your own convenience because you are tired of saying no. Can you put a gate or something in the hallway? I think you just keep telling her no and redirect her. |
Anonymous
Agree. I think if its the only space the older kid has to leave her stuff out she should not be made to let her 2 yo sister in on a daily basis. |
Anonymous
| Same age spread here. DS, 7, has to keep his legos and other small piece toys in his room. DD, 2.5, isn’t allowed in his room. Period and no exceptions. DD has toys in her room that DS can’t play with. Anything in the playroom is fair game to both. DS knows anything he creates in the playroom may get destroyed by 2.5 yr old. 2.5 yr old knows that anything she is playing with needs to be shared. |
Anonymous
Your 7 yo is doing her part by keeping her stuff in her room and keeping the door closed. Put a baby gate or something on the door, and get over the fact that you don't want to tell her no over and over. Or you can make her let her little sister in and have her resent you and her sister. |
Anonymous
| You have to parent your 2 year old. You are asking your 7 year old to make all the sacrifices so that you don't have to deal with the 2 year old being mad. You put up a baby gate. You redirect the 2 year old. All you are doing now is creating an environment where the 7 year old is seriously going to resent the 2 year old and you. |
Anonymous
| It's not your 7 year olds fault that you aren't capable of being a parent. |
Anonymous
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Get a sign that's red on one side and green on the other, hang it with yarn on 7's door. Have 7 keep her door closed all the time. Teach 2 that when the sign is green she can go in and when it's red she can't.
Tell 7 that once a day she has to make the sign green when 2 wants to go in, and it would be smart of her to direct 2 to things 7 is okay with her playing with. Also teach 2 she needs permission to touch other people's things. |
Anonymous
Exactly. Put up a baby gate or lock on older kid's room. Saying no 50 times is part of parenting a 2-year old. |
Anonymous
+1 Don’t let your 2yo be a brat and destroy the 7 yo’s stuff. NO with consequences. |
Anonymous
And I know a family with this age difference where the “baby” can do no wrong and the older child is now resentful of parents and “baby”. |
Anonymous
Same. I know more than one. It's really unfortunate |
Anonymous
Coming back to say that now “baby” is 4 and unfortunately it is still the same dynamics and very sad to watch. You’re here looking for advice and because you care, so please, discipline and establish boundaries for your baby. A two-year-old is smart enough I mold. Put a baby gate up or some kind of boundaries so that your older child has a safe space where your little one can’t come in and destroy belongings were creations. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| Come on! Can't you deal with a 2 year old? You go to the mat with the 2 year old so the 7 year old knows you will stick up for her. You, as a parent, deal with the tantrums the the way you would for any 2 year old who is trying to do something they shouldn't. The 7 year old needs her space (no banging on doors). 2 years is not such a baby. Your kids' future relationship will be much better if you do |