2yo always getting into 7yo’s stuff

[Anonymous]

The 2 year old shouldn't go into the older childvs room regardless of how long they bang on the door, how mad they get, or what kind of tantrum they might throw.

Not only is it completely unfair to your older child, but establishing the precedent that the younger child gets their way if they make things too uncomfortable for you is the last thing you want. As it is, they're used to this power so you should expect a pretty miserable period of adjustment. If a little door-banging got them their way before, when it stops working, they'll probably escalate. Do NOT give in. You need to be consistent and firm so that they realize you're in charge and not them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We deal with the two year olds tantrums. Crying doesn’t mean that he gets to go into his older brothers room, especially if that light break his Legos.

You have this backwards.

Wait, but then the mom would have to parent her 2 year old. It’s sooo much easier to make the 7 year old do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would love some advice. We have 7.5 year old and 2 year old DD’s. We have a playroom where we keep the younger one’s toys but my older one loves to arrange elaborate set ups for her dolls, animals and little figures so we have her do that in her room so the 2yo doesn’t destroy it all daily. This was fine for a while but now our 2yo knows her sister has so much fun stuff in her room and constantly wants to go in there. It’s a constant struggle because our older one doesn’t want the younger one in her room (because she does mess things up) and telling our younger one that she can’t go in there 50 times per day has resulted in non-stop tantrums. Our house is all on one floor so there is no way to prevent the younger one from going to her older sister’s door and banging on it. Part of the problem is that DD sets everything up on the floor so it’s in reach of her little sister and won’t put things on her dresser so she can’t get to them. For the past week we have been telling older DD that she has to let younger DD in her room so we don’t make it a constant battle with the younger one and older DD has been extremely frustrated that her stuff is constantly being moved around or knocked down. I totally understand her frustration on the one hand, but am not sure it’s reasonable for her sister to just never be allowed in her room. DH and I always try to clean things up and help reset her play schemes but she says we don’t do it right.

I am curious how others handle younger siblings wanting their older siblings’ stuff and to be in their space. Are their rooms 100% off limits? Or is this an instance where the older one needs to suck it up and learn to share? Guessing it’s some mix of both but don’t where to draw the line... and everyone being home 24/7 has made this a multiple times per day battle.

Let your younger DD tantrum in her room all she wants. Why is older DD expected to work around the tantrums?

[Anonymous]

Ugh OP please get some parenting classes.

[Anonymous]

You need to supervise the 2 year old and tell them no. Or, put a baby gate on the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a sign that's red on one side and green on the other, hang it with yarn on 7's door. Have 7 keep her door closed all the time. Teach 2 that when the sign is green she can go in and when it's red she can't.

Tell 7 that once a day she has to make the sign green when 2 wants to go in, and it would be smart of her to direct 2 to things 7 is okay with her playing with. Also teach 2 she needs permission to touch other people's things.

Do not do this. You’re older child deserves her own things in her own space not disturbed by her little sister. Parent the two-year-old. Tell her no. Reinforce that. You’re basically teaching your younger child that there are no boundaries and she can do what she wants. I’m willing to bet your seven-year-old is going to grow up hating her little sister and you for allowing it. Grow a parental backbone and parent the toddler.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why your 7 year old can’t have a room that is hers? Why is it unfair that the 2 year old can’t go into 7s room?

You’re 2s parent, not 7. Parent her. Your 7 year old shouldn’t have to suck it up just because you don’t want to deal with your younger child’s tantrums.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you let the 2 year old go into your office/work space and play with your work papers?

Come on OP. You can do much better than this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would love some advice. We have 7.5 year old and 2 year old DD’s. We have a playroom where we keep the younger one’s toys but my older one loves to arrange elaborate set ups for her dolls, animals and little figures so we have her do that in her room so the 2yo doesn’t destroy it all daily. This was fine for a while but now our 2yo knows her sister has so much fun stuff in her room and constantly wants to go in there. It’s a constant struggle because our older one doesn’t want the younger one in her room (because she does mess things up) and telling our younger one that she can’t go in there 50 times per day has resulted in non-stop tantrums. Our house is all on one floor so there is no way to prevent the younger one from going to her older sister’s door and banging on it. Part of the problem is that DD sets everything up on the floor so it’s in reach of her little sister and won’t put things on her dresser so she can’t get to them. For the past week we have been telling older DD that she has to let younger DD in her room so we don’t make it a constant battle with the younger one and older DD has been extremely frustrated that her stuff is constantly being moved around or knocked down. I totally understand her frustration on the one hand, but am not sure it’s reasonable for her sister to just never be allowed in her room. DH and I always try to clean things up and help reset her play schemes but she says we don’t do it right.

I am curious how others handle younger siblings wanting their older siblings’ stuff and to be in their space. Are their rooms 100% off limits? Or is this an instance where the older one needs to suck it up and learn to share? Guessing it’s some mix of both but don’t where to draw the line... and everyone being home 24/7 has made this a multiple times per day battle.

The only problem is that you are unwilling to deal with your two-year-old. It's completely reasonable for the 7yo's room to be off-limits (just as her little sister's room will be her own space when she's older, too).

[Anonymous]

100% consistency to avoid confusion for the 2 year old. Every time she melts down at the bedroom door, redirect her to the playroom. If 100 % consistent she will understand what the rules are within a week or two.

[Anonymous]

I am 7 years younger than my brother. I wasn't allowed in his room without his permission when I was a kid. He didn't really come into mine either. Get a baby gate and then tell your 7 year old that she's just got to ignore when the 2 year old knocks on the door (because realistically you won't be able to stop her every time, though you should try) and eventually the 2 year old will learn and stop