Stumbled across my boyfriend’s sister’s lewd Instagram/onlyfans

[Anonymous]

The account was in my “people you may know” list on Instagram. It’s public and PG13, but advertises photo sets for sale and the link to her explicit Only Fans subscription account is in the bio. My boyfriend would be so sad, concerned, and probably a little disgusted to know his little sister (22 and in grad school) is selling her pictures. It feels like a lie of omission if I don’t tell him. But I know it will cause trouble and family drama, plus it’s just gross to make him think about, so I’m really torn as to what to do here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The account was in my “people you may know” list on Instagram. It’s public and PG13, but advertises photo sets for sale and the link to her explicit Only Fans subscription account is in the bio. My boyfriend would be so sad, concerned, and probably a little disgusted to know his little sister (22 and in grad school) is selling her pictures. It feels like a lie of omission if I don’t tell him. But I know it will cause trouble and family drama, plus it’s just gross to make him think about, so I’m really torn as to what to do here.

if it's in your people you may know, it's probably in his or his family's as well

[Anonymous]

Torn? There is no dilemma. NOTHING is what you need to do -- absolutely nada. You don't tell anyone about this and do your best to unsee it. Why would you try to bring this pain into his life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The account was in my “people you may know” list on Instagram. It’s public and PG13, but advertises photo sets for sale and the link to her explicit Only Fans subscription account is in the bio. My boyfriend would be so sad, concerned, and probably a little disgusted to know his little sister (22 and in grad school) is selling her pictures. It feels like a lie of omission if I don’t tell him. But I know it will cause trouble and family drama, plus it’s just gross to make him think about, so I’m really torn as to what to do here.

if it's in your people you may know, it's probably in his or his family's as well

Forgot to say he’s not on social media at all, so he likely wouldn’t find out. You’re right that their parents may already know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Torn? There is no dilemma. NOTHING is what you need to do -- absolutely nada. You don't tell anyone about this and do your best to unsee it. Why would you try to bring this pain into his life?

That is definitely my first instinct, but I worry that he eventually finds out and asks if I knew, I’d either have to lie or he’d be upset that I didn’t tell him. But that’s why I’m getting a gut check here.

[Anonymous]

She’s 22. BYOB.

[Anonymous]

Well, she's putting herself through grad school. People have done much, much, more to put themselves through school, if you see what I mean.

I don't think you should say anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s 22. BYOB.

Now there's a Freudian slip!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Well, she's putting herself through grad school. People have done much, much, more to put themselves through school, if you see what I mean.

I don't think you should say anything.

OP here, I should have said that I personally think “Whatever” pretty much, although I worry that since it was easy to stumble upon it could be found by other people who know her and would use it against her, or that it could hurt her professionally.

[Anonymous]

You could always follow her and see how that goes

[Anonymous]

Would you tell the family if a guy you knew was watching those kinds of accounts? Or had purchased a subscription?

Probably not. So give her the same privacy and respect you would a guy.

Also, reconsider dating a man who would be disgusted by this and thinks it’s a family concern. She’s an adult. Don’t get into families that treat adult women like children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you tell the family if a guy you knew was watching those kinds of accounts? Or had purchased a subscription?

Probably not. So give her the same privacy and respect you would a guy.

Also, reconsider dating a man who would be disgusted by this and thinks it’s a family concern. She’s an adult. Don’t get into families that treat adult women like children.

This. She has to put herself through grad school somehow. Not your business.

I found my niece's finsta but I don't say anything, not my business. And she's 18+.

[Anonymous]

link please.

[Anonymous]

If shes behaving like this, it would make me curious about the family dynamics in his household growing up, in general.

I can tell you this: even if your boyfriend seems well adjusted, family dysfunction plays out in midlife. Keep your eyes wide open, if you’re considering a figure with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Torn? There is no dilemma. NOTHING is what you need to do -- absolutely nada. You don't tell anyone about this and do your best to unsee it. Why would you try to bring this pain into his life?

That is definitely my first instinct, but I worry that he eventually finds out and asks if I knew, I’d either have to lie or he’d be upset that I didn’t tell him. But that’s why I’m getting a gut check here.

I understand being disgusted and concerned I'd feel the same if it wer my sibling and I'm a woman, but that you think he would be upset with you for telling is concerning.