Breaking up with your tween’s therapist

[Anonymous]

We are just not connecting well with our DDs therapist. This is not our first go around seeking mental support in our family and our last parental session was not productive. How do we communicate we are seeking other options?

[Anonymous]

I did this a few months ago and my daughter had some anxiety about it, so I understand your concerns. For us, it was clear to me that no progress was being made but my child felt I was being mean to someone she liked.

I did some homework and found another provider and scheduled an intake appointment. My child and I both met with her and afterwards we had a good talk about what was different with the experience. My daughter admitted that even though it was just one meeting, she felt that the tone and approach of the new person seemed like a better fit.

I then just wrote an email to the old provider thanking her for her work with my child and letting her know that at this time we felt we needed to focus on the situation from a different perspective so we would no longer be working with her. She wrote back thanking me for letting her know and wishing us well. That was it.

[Anonymous]

Just be honest. You do not think the connection is working and you want to try another therapist. Most therapists will support you and even offer suggestions.

I know it is u comfortable, but explain to your child that her therapist wants her to get better, even if that means trying someone new.

[Anonymous]

Don't overthink it. They don't really care that much.

"Dear Dr. Do-Nothing, We have decided to seek therapy elsewhere as this has not been working for us. Thank you for your efforts. Sincerely, Sheila Shebanger"

[Anonymous]

Yeah as a former therapist, I wouldn't worry too much. It's really important to find a good fit for you and your family and all therapists know sometimes they won't be the right fit - a good therapist will want you to find the one that is a fit for you. Just write and say that you appreciate the time they've spent with you, but think a different approach may be a better fit for your family.

[Anonymous]

Just cancel your next appointment and move on. They'll take the hint.

[Anonymous]

My husband is a therapist so I hear about these relationships ending from his perspective. It's fine, really. If you aren't getting what you need you should be looking for a new provider. If you don't feel like your kid is making progress the therapist probably doesn't either, it's unlikely to be a big surprise. Just a short and sweet "thank you for the help you've been and we're moving on" type message is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a therapist so I hear about these relationships ending from his perspective. It's fine, really. If you aren't getting what you need you should be looking for a new provider. If you don't feel like your kid is making progress the therapist probably doesn't either, it's unlikely to be a big surprise. Just a short and sweet "thank you for the help you've been and we're moving on" type message is fine.

I certainly hope you aren't hearing much else from him. Patient confidentiality and oath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are just not connecting well with our DDs therapist. This is not our first go around seeking mental support in our family and our last parental session was not productive. How do we communicate we are seeking other options?

What does "being productive" mean to you? How many therapists have you already been through? It's fine to look for someone new, but are you sure you aren't just shopping for someone who will tell you what you want to hear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a therapist so I hear about these relationships ending from his perspective. It's fine, really. If you aren't getting what you need you should be looking for a new provider. If you don't feel like your kid is making progress the therapist probably doesn't either, it's unlikely to be a big surprise. Just a short and sweet "thank you for the help you've been and we're moving on" type message is fine.

I certainly hope you aren't hearing much else from him. Patient confidentiality and oath.

Of course not, there is no reason from my post to think that. We both work in health care, we are both super HIPAA-compliant. But in a general way I am aware of how his practice runs which includes when a therapeutic relationship comes a close for a number of reasons.

[Anonymous]

We just broke up with our teen's therapist at teen's request. I loved the therapist and felt bad about it but the therapist was a real professional. She understood and even helped us find a new person with a a skillset more in line with teen's perceived needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just cancel your next appointment and move on. They'll take the hint.

No. Be an adult and end well. Keep it clean.

[Anonymous]

And therapy takes time. No quick fixes typically. No silver bullet.

[Anonymous]

It's not a big deal. I like the suggestions here. Just let the person know. The therapist wants you to find the right fit and not waste your time.

[Anonymous]

thank you all this was so helpful. Follow up, the therapist did ask to have a follow up to discuss why we wanted to change. Bottom line, the change was very healthy for our entire family and our tween is thriving w the change.