Did anyone do cio with no checks but wish you did Ferber? (Checks)

[Anonymous]

We did extinction, weissbluth sleep training method with cry it out with no checks, on our first child and it worked great.

Now we are getting ready to do sleep training for our second child, daughter, but I am wavering a little bit on whether we should go with extinction or do Ferber method with checks. It seems like there are some people who did cry it out with checks, the Ferber method, but regretted it because checking in on the baby riled the baby up too much. I am curious to hear if there’s anyone who did weissbluth (extinction) but wish they had done Ferber (checks).

Obviously only want to hear from pro cio people!

[Anonymous]

How old is your DD?

[Anonymous]

We started with Ferber checks but it was clear to us that the checks were making things worse. We quickly decided we would do one check after crying really started and then no go back in. It worked for us and within a few nights life was good for everyone.

[Anonymous]

CIO nochecks is the way to go. But it takes some failed efforts (Ferber) to realize this.

[Anonymous]

We never did checks. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

If it worked for you once then do it again. I bet you love sleeping!

[Anonymous]

She is 12 weeks, we will do it sometime in the 14 to 16 week window. I considered Ferber bc there are times when she was fussy at night and just coming in and talking with her a smidge calmed her down, but there are other times when it totally fails and she gets more upset. With our older, it was more obvious that coming in would make him more mad. Yeah, we love sleep.

[Anonymous]

I think this is one of those things that just depends on the kid and the parents.

Any reason not to just try Ferber for a few days and see if it works?

Seems like it would be easier on you and your child if it does.

[Anonymous]

I think it's age-dependent in some respects.

When baby was younger (4 months-8 months), I think checks helped. She would get so insanely riled up that she couldn't sleep. She just didn't have good coping mechanisms.

However, she's older now (14 months) and the checks just stir her up. She's able to self-soothe, and she doesn't actually "need" us-- she just wants to continue hanging out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's age-dependent in some respects.

When baby was younger (4 months-8 months), I think checks helped. She would get so insanely riled up that she couldn't sleep. She just didn't have good coping mechanisms.

However, she's older now (14 months) and the checks just stir her up. She's able to self-soothe, and she doesn't actually "need" us-- she just wants to continue hanging out.

I agree. I had a friend who did no checks and then came in the next morning seeing her child covered in vomit. When the child is older, you can differentiate cries between loneliness and actual need to be cleaned up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's age-dependent in some respects.

When baby was younger (4 months-8 months), I think checks helped. She would get so insanely riled up that she couldn't sleep. She just didn't have good coping mechanisms.

However, she's older now (14 months) and the checks just stir her up. She's able to self-soothe, and she doesn't actually "need" us-- she just wants to continue hanging out.

I agree. I had a friend who did no checks and then came in the next morning seeing her child covered in vomit. When the child is older, you can differentiate cries between loneliness and actual need to be cleaned up.

JFC the way you guys can discuss literal neglect like it was nothing more than a spilled glass of milk

[Anonymous]

Also, loneliness is an “actual need” in any human being and an infant most of all.

[Anonymous]

So we had to do it a few times. With checks when she was younger and then extinction when she was older.

My son was pissed off when he saw us and we wouldn't pick him up, he's a stronger willed child though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's age-dependent in some respects.

When baby was younger (4 months-8 months), I think checks helped. She would get so insanely riled up that she couldn't sleep. She just didn't have good coping mechanisms.

However, she's older now (14 months) and the checks just stir her up. She's able to self-soothe, and she doesn't actually "need" us-- she just wants to continue hanging out.

I agree. I had a friend who did no checks and then came in the next morning seeing her child covered in vomit. When the child is older, you can differentiate cries between loneliness and actual need to be cleaned up.

That can happen to anyone though. I checked on DD before going to bed and in the morning she was covered in vomit. She just didn't cry I guess (we are light sleepers). Shared the shit out of us because she wasn't even rolling yet! Just laying on her back vomiting.

[Anonymous]

Ferber worked much better for us than Weissbluth. I found Weissbluth's book vague, poorly written and contradicting itself in multiple places. It was impossible to sort out details.

Ferber was recommended by our pediatrician she also said it's ok to modify a bit as needed, and stated that it's the method that she applied with her own children. That was enough to sell us on it and it worked great.