How to deal with husband that's not speaking to me

[Anonymous]

It's the old silent treatment, the second time this month. Should i talk to him anyway? Or just ignore him? And how long is typical for this to last? Is therec any way out besides apologizing. I think I am starting to see divorce as an inevitable outcome for us.

[Anonymous]

Ignore him, and stop doing anything for him (laundry, cooking, etc). Hell, I'd be tempted to go on vacation without telling him.

"Well darling, we weren't speaking..."

[Anonymous]

Twice in a month? Not talking to somebody is childish, immature, passive aggressive, aggressive aggressive, and controlling. It isn't respectful or mature.

You are right to consider divorce. I would make it a priority, in fact.

Yes, talk to him normally. Take note of when he stops talking and when he starts, so when he inevitably asks why you are divorcing him you can point him to his own actions.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Please take care of yourself, stay busy., go for walks, anything to stay strong.
It’s not about you, he is behaving badly and the only way to turn it around is for him to see that you won’t be taken down by him.
You can try talking about it when he is back to normal, it may help or it may not. You can research passive aggressive behavior, it is controlling and can be learned if his parents acted like this. Sending hugs.

[Anonymous]

What did u do?

[Anonymous]

Kids? I’m sorry you’re going through this.

[Anonymous]

Has he said, “I am too angry to talk about this calmly and don’t want to say something I will regret. I need space and time.” I don’t see that as silent treatment but emotional maturity.

If he just stopped talking to you about anything (even dumb admin stuff), then that’s childish etc. How you deal long term is a serious Q, but short term you get therapy for you, line up a marital therapist and invite him, and definitely don’t do his laundry.

[Anonymous]

Why did he stop talking to you?

[Anonymous]

I would be happy, singing to myself, speak to him as if everything is normal. Just narrate, don't ask questions.

Being happy is the best revenge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did he stop talking to you?

Op
I did not have it with him at 1 am on his birthday. I stood my ground because I do not like being woken up by him for it. That's why he is so mad at me and one of the many reasons I am done with him.

[Anonymous]

Enjoy the silence. Prepare for the divorce.

[Explorergirl]

This is disrespectful and unhealthy on so many levels. I would tell him once, and only once, that the silent treatment is a dealbreaker for you and he needs to learn how to use his big boy words by tomorrow or you are leaving. And then follow through.

Just Google silent treatment and you will see how unhealthy this is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did he stop talking to you?

Op
I did not have it with him at 1 am on his birthday. I stood my ground because I do not like being woken up by him for it. That's why he is so mad at me and one of the many reasons I am done with him.

How old are you guys? Do you have kids?

I can’t imagine DH being mad about this. DH wakes me up many mornings at like 5 or 6 for it. Sometimes we do it while I am half asleep. Other times I’m dead tired and not willing. We have 3 kids and sleep is precious to me. I am annoyed sometimes but it is not enough not to speak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the old silent treatment, the second time this month. Should i talk to him anyway? Or just ignore him? And how long is typical for this to last? Is therec any way out besides apologizing. I think I am starting to see divorce as an inevitable outcome for us.

This is so juvenile. I don’t get people who do this. I’m sorry I find him very toddlerlike. Therapy.
We get angry and mad and talk it out as we get older talking has taken precedence. It’s human to be upset and hurt but not talking is childish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the old silent treatment, the second time this month. Should i talk to him anyway? Or just ignore him? And how long is typical for this to last? Is therec any way out besides apologizing. I think I am starting to see divorce as an inevitable outcome for us.

This is so juvenile. I don’t get people who do this. I’m sorry I find him very toddlerlike. Therapy.
We get angry and mad and talk it out as we get older talking has taken precedence. It’s human to be upset and hurt but not talking is childish.

I’m a 42yo, married for 13 years and have 3 kids. There are days I truly despise Dh. I don’t feel like talking to him. I can’t go on a day without communicating with him because we have 3 kids.