How to deal with husband that's not speaking to me

[Anonymous]

Are you the same poster who keeps posting about this, or are there just tons of husbands who do this??

[Anonymous]

Np. My husband is giving me the silent treatment right now because I told him the steak was overcooked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did he stop talking to you?

Op
I did not have it with him at 1 am on his birthday. I stood my ground because I do not like being woken up by him for it. That's why he is so mad at me and one of the many reasons I am done with him.

Seriously ... just divorce him. He sounds exhausting.

[Anonymous]

He's giving you the silent treatment because you turned him down for sex late at night when you were sleeping?

Sounds like an entitled, abusive asshole. Do you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's giving you the silent treatment because you turned him down for sex late at night when you were sleeping?

Sounds like an entitled, abusive asshole. Do you have kids?

Oh and to answer your question, I would ignore his antics and happily go about my life. I would also consult divorce attorneys.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a spare room to sleep in while you consult divorce lawyers?

Ignore him. I agree with the other person about not doing things for him.

[Anonymous]

OP here, he is still not talking to me. I am taking this as a sign that it's definitely over. Of course it will make it harder to tell him about the divorce. I think he might just start yelling then.

[Anonymous]

Do the 180 while you plan your exit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, he is still not talking to me. I am taking this as a sign that it's definitely over. Of course it will make it harder to tell him about the divorce. I think he might just start yelling then.

Get a lawyer and make your plans to move out. Then make sure you have someone with you when you pack up and let him know things are over. Or pack n leave when he is not home.

[Anonymous]

What a juvenile prick. If you have kids, make therapy non-negotiable. No kids, get the hell out of there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the old silent treatment, the second time this month. Should i talk to him anyway? Or just ignore him? And how long is typical for this to last? Is therec any way out besides apologizing. I think I am starting to see divorce as an inevitable outcome for us.

Try to persuade him to pursue a different route. Maybe there's a trusted friend or relative that could persuade him to talk? The silent treatment can really eat away at the foundation of the relationship.

My DW started using the silent treatment before going to bed. Several years later we sleep in separate rooms and barely speak. Not saying you'll wind up like us, but I recommend nipping it in the bud if possible.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did he stop talking to you?

Op
I did not have it with him at 1 am on his birthday. I stood my ground because I do not like being woken up by him for it. That's why he is so mad at me and one of the many reasons I am done with him.

OP, you deserve respect and kindness all the time. Your body does not belong to him. Be very careful and be mindful of keeping yourself and your children safe because he does not know how to interact with you in a loving way that indicates he considers you an equal to him.

[Anonymous]

Easy... Stop having sex with him. We as men think with wrong head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, he is still not talking to me. I am taking this as a sign that it's definitely over. Of course it will make it harder to tell him about the divorce. I think he might just start yelling then.

Get a lawyer and make your plans to move out. Then make sure you have someone with you when you pack up and let him know things are over. Or pack n leave when he is not home.

Men don't think women will leave. As a group, they really don't. They are generally shocked when you do. (This is from multiple marriage counselors I know.) The main problem with this is that women generally don't leave until it has been so bad that they have burned out all their love and caring, and it isn't coming back. But for many men, that's the wake-up call to change. It's too late by then.

I'd suggest gathering information quietly if you don't already have it -- identifying accounts and balances, knowing where insurance policies are, etc. That's good for anyone to have up to date, but we often let it slide. Then get some counselling for you, because you need a neutral third-party touchstone to really understand how shi++y this is. Fine to tell him about counselling, or even see if he is willing to try it together, once he is talking again -- but be aware that men in this dynamic don't want to be challenged on it, so they rarely will see a neutral third party with you.

Then you sort out what you can in counselling and decide what to do next. A critical question is -- how would you feel about living like this 2, 5, or even 10 years from now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you the same poster who keeps posting about this, or are there just tons of husbands who do this??

+1. I feel like it’s the same poster over and over asking the same question and getting the same response. She’s obviously not taking the advice and just wants to be miserable, it’s exhausting.