If you have allowed a family member to borrow money

[Anonymous]

Did you ever get it back? Did you put a timeline on when you expected it back?

[Anonymous]

I have loaned money to parents and siblings and eventually gotten it back. I would never lend to my sibling again. I am still willing to lend to my parents as long as terms and expectations are clear.

If you don't have a timeline then you are more likely to end up making a gift. Of course, you should also never lend to family what you can't afford to give.

[Anonymous]

No, never got it back. That’s often the case when you lend money to family with chronic money issues.

[Anonymous]

Consider it a gift.

[Anonymous]

Do not make it a loan, make it a gift. This way no hard feelings

[Anonymous]

No, but I only do it as a gift, I never arrange it so there is an expectation of getting it back.

[Anonymous]

I consider it a gift when I lend to family or friends, but have always been repaid. We have also outright gifted to members of DH's family when times were hard and there are no hard feelings there. I also borrowed money from my mom when I was in college, so it would feel strange to turn around and implement a "loans are bad" policy now that we're doing well.

[Anonymous]

I would only ever give money to a family member that I was ok with not getting back. If they wanted to set up a payment plan or something I'd be onboard with that but I would never be comfortable turning myself into a collections agency with someone I love.

But as a general rule I avoid any money exchanges with anyone I'm related to for a lot of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Considered it a loan, never got it back. Now would only repeat for a modest amount, in dire circumstances and with the understanding that it would never be repaid.

[Anonymous]

My sister - I cosigned for her first car. She had ZERO credit, a credit score of literally 0. But she had a good job. She actually paid way more than her minimum, and refinanced after 24 months so that she would boost her own score. When we bought our second house, I was told she actually helped my credit score a bit

My brother - loaned him $500 when he was first getting his business off of the ground. I did not expect payment back, even though he said it was a loan. His business did take off, and he paid me back maybe 15 months later.

My SIL - my husband gave her closing costs for her house. She paid us back in installments, over the next three months.

My BIL - my husband has given him money for court costs, flew his daughter to him for his summer custody schedule, and I believe made a few child support payments on his behalf. It's his identical twin, he's a mess. My husband knows he will never see that money back. He's fine with it, but BIL brings it up. My husband has known that he's been a mess since they were born. He just doesn't seem to manage his life very well, and makes poor decisions without looking at the big picture (example - not graduating college because he needed to retake ONE class, and pay the graduation fee). He's not an addict, or over spender per se, just a grown man that has yet to get his shit together. It is what it is. I stay out of it. The money hasn't hurt our bottomline, and I knew their relationship before we were married. My husband still discusses with me as a courtesy, and sounding board.

[Anonymous]

I haven't done it, but if I did I would consider it a gift.

[Anonymous]

My husband’s family lends money to each other as needed and loans are always repaid on time. It is the family 0% interest banking system

[Anonymous]

When I loan them money, I consider it a gift. I don’t expect to get it back. But they have always paid it back.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Never lend money to family you can't afford to forgive.