Kids bedtime advice for when you feel you are trying SO hard (age 3-5)
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Anonymous
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Sleep advice for this weird phase?
Kids aged 9,5,3. 9yo falls asleep fine. But why are my 5 and 3 yos awake right now? They FIGHT sleep. One is happy, one is upset. Doesn’t really matter. I know they are physically tired, but they just won’t fall into sleep. What do you do for kids who just won’t do it? -we alternate some nights trying to sit with them and listen to sleepy music -we alternate some nights of leaving them either with music or just out of frustration, nothing (maybe even letting them cry and whine) Neither of those choices work. Esp for my 3yo, he claims potty needs, then bedtime extends longer ... We have tried so hard to be consistent, to be kind, to make bedtime nice, to give lots of outdoor and physical activity. It cuts into my sleep, alone time as parents... but really sleep. And then I can’t do my mornings as desired; i feel it throws off my whole day and thus my life. And little to no alone time w/o kids. (And again if we do, it’s at the detriment of sleep?) How am I supposed to achieve 30 minutes of anything important to me? -running -or, small house project -or, sex that isn’t a quickie -or, talking -or, reading -or, proper sleep |
Anonymous
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Tonight I sat with my 3yo for 45 minutes. Having done this before on and off, I know he’s capable of falling asleep within 1–3 songs. Also, knowing his day, he should have been tuckered out at 8:30.
He just won’t choose to sleep. I had to walk out. -other minor point, I’m at an emotional end. I will not tolerate rude comments. I’m here for help. Emotionally upset but not enough to accept rude hearts. Sorry but the only 2 times I have come on here in a year, I experienced out of the blue unkindness. |
Anonymous
And I only stayed for 45 min because I felt sleep was just around the corner, perpetually. |
Anonymous
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One more thing:
We had an AWESOME tactic but it only truly worked on my oldest, who doesn’t even need the help. It helped me stay unemotional. “Ok kids, I’m going to try something tonight! I’m going to mark down how long it takes to get ready for bed... if it takes a short or long time, that’s ok. Then we will know how long, and we’ll start bedtime earlier or later.” I told husband this removes the emotional. Like “ok, if you want to take a long time, perfectly fine but now we know to start earlier.” Oldest felt the incentive to get ready quickly. She felt so privileged to start bedtime later. Awesome. Middle motivated for 1-2 days, because he sort of understands but not fully. He’s still awake now. Husband have been through sitting, walk away, he cried, husband sitting again. He says “I don’t sleep until a long time.” 
3yo no concept of time, wasn’t really presented for his benefit. He will do whatever. But I tracked his times anyway. One day I realized, I could start bedtime at f’n 4pm, it’s not bedtime that is the problem. It is simply falling asleep, stopping the “water!” and “hungry” and “potty,” which cries are 50% legitimate. At that point it’s not bedtime, it’s just a neverending DAY.
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Anonymous
| All of the above is OP. |
Anonymous
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Do they nap?
If so, stop the naps. |
Anonymous
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I want to cry so hard because this is 7+ hours of my week. It’s almost the only me time I have. And again, wrecks my won bedtime so I can’t function as well at doing a morning me time. I sleep until I have to wake and start the day. Sometimes force my tired self to do a 20-30 minute run. I’m absolutely lucky if I can manage that.
I want my small life back. Crying so hard. 3yo did just fall asleep due to me walking out. 5yo still lying in bed. Husband said 5yo asked him to. I love that he/we are showing love to these kids. Dh saw me crying and kindly told him “mommy needs me more than you do. Good night.” So we’re done. 5yo awake but should stay in bed hopefully. It’s 10:48 and my night is over? I’m hurting and I guess I’ll sleep now. |
Anonymous
| melatonin |
Anonymous
Here are typical days for 3yo 1. Falls asleep in car or on couch at 3pm, can’t hack a whole day. Might stay up till 10 2. Falls asleep in car or couch at 5-6pm. Argh. We have a friend hand out with us until 11:30 3. Today = stayed awake! Played soccer with me and ran hard in the evening. Ready for bed sort of between 8:30-9:40 (done 8:30 but big kids were still getting ready and we did some more stories). Finally fell asleep 10:40. WHY? |
Anonymous
I’m on board. Doc is. We do it sometimes. But I’m concerned about long term use. How do I find out about this? |
Anonymous
I don't know, but my 3 YO left me with no choice. We have been using it for a month and he asks to go to bed at 8 pm (he previously would stay up until 11!). We reclaimed our life and I feel so much happier. |
Anonymous
| Op here again. Today no run but I did do 25m cardio at home while big kids were in the bath. 3yo hung out with me (Working out) and dad and ate his leftover dinner. I got that me time today. |
Anonymous
Op here, I should add that sometimes it works; sometimes 5yo manages to fight melatonin. And he’s the one who asks for it. |
Anonymous
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You have to decide on a routine and times and do it consistently EVERY SINGLE DAY. Wake the 3 year old up afte 45 min max nap.
I have a 2 and 5 year old who I let sleep in til whenever in the morning so normally its around 8am, and I need to start bedtime routine at 7:30, in bed, lights off, books read, end of routine at 8:30 at the absolute latest. If it does beyond that they get too tired and upset and it drags out. |
Anonymous
And 5yo doesn’t nap. He did once in the last 9 months or so. ^”friend” hanging out with us is the 3yo. |