U12 son losing joy in playing

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure exactly what advice I am looking for. My son is a U12 on a mid-level travel team. He plays midfield or defense, which he likes. He does not want to switch positions. But this year, he seems to have lost all of the joy he previously had in playing. He constantly complains about what seem like relatively minor contact injuries. He complains that he is too small and gets pushed around. He is short in statute, but not slight - he's a muscular kid with a broad chest. He is almost always in a bad mood and exhausted after games and practices. He says he absolutely doesn't want to quit travel soccer, but he doesn't seem to be having fun.

Is this normal? Is there anything we could change or do differently to help him get some of his joy in playing back?

[Anonymous]

Sit down and talk with him- does he still want to play, does he want to try a different sport, maybe it’s a team/club/coach compatibility issue, maybe he just needs a break

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure exactly what advice I am looking for. My son is a U12 on a mid-level travel team. He plays midfield or defense, which he likes. He does not want to switch positions. But this year, he seems to have lost all of the joy he previously had in playing. He constantly complains about what seem like relatively minor contact injuries. He complains that he is too small and gets pushed around. He is short in statute, but not slight - he's a muscular kid with a broad chest. He is almost always in a bad mood and exhausted after games and practices. He says he absolutely doesn't want to quit travel soccer, but he doesn't seem to be having fun.

Is this normal? Is there anything we could change or do differently to help him get some of his joy in playing back?

What club are you in? Who’s the coach?

[Anonymous]

I have noticed this in my son early in the season. The kids are out of shape. Soccer is a hard sport and they really haven't played games in 6+ months. Slowly he is starting to get back into it, but it is taking a lot of time and training. They are also pre-teens now and that plays into it too.
I also think kids may just be worn out from Covid. Everything has changed for them - school, friends, who they can hang out with. We do need to cut them some slack. I would have him stick with it and consider looking at new clubs after the Fall. I have even told my son to he can go back to rec if he just wants to have fun without the seriousness of training.

[Anonymous]

I have kids who do all sports - 12/13 is a tough age. Some kids are growing faster, some slower. Kids hit weird slumps around this age. Maybe take a break? Change teams? It is possible to go back. My son went back to baseball.

But, I'm big on having my kids hand to a sport until high school and then reevaluate. Mainly, because I want them active. So far, when they have reached high school they are still into it

[Anonymous]

Probably move him to rec. You mentioned he;s a mid level travel player. People like to blame all sorts of things...coaches yelling, parents yelling, burnout, etc but the truth is...it's not fun playing when you aren't as good as your teammates, friends, etc. If he was kicking ass then 99/100, he'd be having fun. Maybe he just needs to drop to a lower level where he can find success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure exactly what advice I am looking for. My son is a U12 on a mid-level travel team. He plays midfield or defense, which he likes. He does not want to switch positions. But this year, he seems to have lost all of the joy he previously had in playing. He constantly complains about what seem like relatively minor contact injuries. He complains that he is too small and gets pushed around. He is short in statute, but not slight - he's a muscular kid with a broad chest. He is almost always in a bad mood and exhausted after games and practices. He says he absolutely doesn't want to quit travel soccer, but he doesn't seem to be having fun.

Is this normal? Is there anything we could change or do differently to help him get some of his joy in playing back?

From the soccer I see, he’s probably not wrong, especially if he’s a skilled U12 playing 9v9 on a smaller field. Next year he’ll move to u13 and the full field. There will be more space and a little less contact. The contact doesn’t go away, but I think the impact of it dissipates somewhat as they age up - bigger field and better skills neutralize the kids who are overly-reliant on playing the body, so they either adjust or don’t stay on the field...that’s what I see, anyway, watching u15-u19.

[Anonymous]

Lots of kids don't play soccer cause it's a contact sport. Maybe he can try some contactless sport, and make a switch.

If he wants to continue with soccer, try drills where he can effectively use his body and hold his ground.

For my DD, if she is benched and stagnant, she is not having fun. Figure out what he likes about soccer, if it's missing for him.

[Anonymous]

Probably move him to rec. You mentioned he;s a mid level travel player. People like to blame all sorts of things...coaches yelling, parents yelling, burnout, etc but the truth is...it's not fun playing when you aren't as good as your teammates, friends, etc. If he was kicking ass then 99/100, he'd be having fun. Maybe he just needs to drop to a lower level where he can find success.

He's one of the better players on a mid level team, not a mid-level player on a team that is too good for him. The other kids he is playing with and against are fairly equally matched to him. My point is that none of these kids are superstars, so he's not playing at the highest, most aggressive levels.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure exactly what advice I am looking for. My son is a U12 on a mid-level travel team. He plays midfield or defense, which he likes. He does not want to switch positions. But this year, he seems to have lost all of the joy he previously had in playing. He constantly complains about what seem like relatively minor contact injuries. He complains that he is too small and gets pushed around. He is short in statute, but not slight - he's a muscular kid with a broad chest. He is almost always in a bad mood and exhausted after games and practices. He says he absolutely doesn't want to quit travel soccer, but he doesn't seem to be having fun.

Is this normal? Is there anything we could change or do differently to help him get some of his joy in playing back?


From the soccer I see, he’s probably not wrong, especially if he’s a skilled U12 playing 9v9 on a smaller field. Next year he’ll move to u13 and the full field. There will be more space and a little less contact. The contact doesn’t go away, but I think the impact of it dissipates somewhat as they age up - bigger field and better skills neutralize the kids who are overly-reliant on playing the body, so they either adjust or don’t stay on the field...that’s what I see, anyway, watching u15-u19.

Thanks, I hope so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Lots of kids don't play soccer cause it's a contact sport. Maybe he can try some contactless sport, and make a switch.

If he wants to continue with soccer, try drills where he can effectively use his body and hold his ground.

For my DD, if she is benched and stagnant, she is not having fun. Figure out what he likes about soccer, if it's missing for him.

trophy participation Mom alert!

[Anonymous]

I love how it is the coaches fault. Maybe he just doesn’t like it. Maybe he has other interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Lots of kids don't play soccer cause it's a contact sport. Maybe he can try some contactless sport, and make a switch.

If he wants to continue with soccer, try drills where he can effectively use his body and hold his ground.

For my DD, if she is benched and stagnant, she is not having fun. Figure out what he likes about soccer, if it's missing for him.

trophy participation Mom alert!

I never understand this criticism- why pay money for your kid to ride the bench. Just move down a level and let them have playing time or find a coach who plays the whole roster

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure exactly what advice I am looking for. My son is a U12 on a mid-level travel team. He plays midfield or defense, which he likes. He does not want to switch positions. But this year, he seems to have lost all of the joy he previously had in playing. He constantly complains about what seem like relatively minor contact injuries. He complains that he is too small and gets pushed around. He is short in statute, but not slight - he's a muscular kid with a broad chest. He is almost always in a bad mood and exhausted after games and practices. He says he absolutely doesn't want to quit travel soccer, but he doesn't seem to be having fun.

Is this normal? Is there anything we could change or do differently to help him get some of his joy in playing back?

It’s very common for serious players to no longer find joy without the competition. Either move up a team, age, or go practice at some bigger clubs near you.

[Anonymous]

Joy sometimes comes in waves.

When my kids interest ebbed, I did not push.

I found other opportunities in the sport. Camps, private trainer that mentored and brought the love back, etc.

Sometimes they need a change. Moving Clubs with a different culture was a big motivator for my kids around U12/13.

Does your family watch soccer? There are some great documentaries on players out there. Also, certain FIFA teams.