U12 son losing joy in playing

[Anonymous]

Im a big soccer parent. Coached in rec for all our kids. One kid played through college. One passed on college ball as could not play D1. Still, you have to keep a parent ear to the ground. Is this adolescent griping, but overall he enjoys things, or is this part of the process of your kid recognizing that maybe this sport is not for him.

Soccer is not a great sport for everyone even if they are good athletes. The reality is that it is a sport for fast kids. A skilled slow kid can play through high school but they will be constantly challenged.

Step 1 though is a parent assessment. Your kid is smaller now than his peers. Where will he be at 16? Your kid is 12/13 now and lots of growing is yet to be done. You can do the most for your kid by looking ahead and thinking about where he will be size wise at 16,17,18. Speed too is very important in soccer. It’s the reality of the game. Now, a kid may slow down at 12/13/14 due to growth spurts an being temporarily uncoordinated. That’s fine. The kids with early growth spurts have an advantage but every coach knows that others catch up.

Finally - any sport or activity requires practice outside of team practices. Singing, painting, athletics - it doesn’t matter. To get good you have to practice more than everyone else. I learned this years ago with my oldest - who wanted to pitch in high school. I took him to a facility where they gave pitching lessons. I figured this would give him a leg up on everyone. Except, I learned, basically every kid in the area was already doing the equivalent. I learned and got my daughter some outside soccer training starting at 11. She did that for 3 years and it helped make her into a very good player.

So - my advice at this point:

1. Listen and be supportive but don’t make any quick decisions.

2. Assess where he is going to be physically at high school ages. Soccer is pretty forgiving about size but speed is always important.

3. Pick up some outside training/instruction for what he is interested in. If it is soccer - find a good older high school player who would work with him an hour or two a week (do it with a friend and split the cost). Having 3 is actually helpful in working on things. If it is something else then make the assessment on what would be needed. You don’t have to hire a pro player.

[Anonymous]

Hes 11 it could be that puberty is starting to kick in and he is getting in his feelings too much on an emotional roller coaster.

[Anonymous]

Im a big soccer parent. Coached in rec for all our kids. One kid played through college. One passed on college ball as could not play D1. Still, you have to keep a parent ear to the ground. Is this adolescent griping, but overall he enjoys things, or is this part of the process of your kid recognizing that maybe this sport is not for him.

Soccer is not a great sport for everyone even if they are good athletes. The reality is that it is a sport for fast kids. A skilled slow kid can play through high school but they will be constantly challenged.

Step 1 though is a parent assessment. Your kid is smaller now than his peers. Where will he be at 16? Your kid is 12/13 now and lots of growing is yet to be done. You can do the most for your kid by looking ahead and thinking about where he will be size wise at 16,17,18. Speed too is very important in soccer. It’s the reality of the game. Now, a kid may slow down at 12/13/14 due to growth spurts an being temporarily uncoordinated. That’s fine. The kids with early growth spurts have an advantage but every coach knows that others catch up.

Finally - any sport or activity requires practice outside of team practices. Singing, painting, athletics - it doesn’t matter. To get good you have to practice more than everyone else. I learned this years ago with my oldest - who wanted to pitch in high school. I took him to a facility where they gave pitching lessons. I figured this would give him a leg up on everyone. Except, I learned, basically every kid in the area was already doing the equivalent. I learned and got my daughter some outside soccer training starting at 11. She did that for 3 years and it helped make her into a very good player.

So - my advice at this point:

1. Listen and be supportive but don’t make any quick decisions.

2. Assess where he is going to be physically at high school ages. Soccer is pretty forgiving about size but speed is always important.

3. Pick up some outside training/instruction for what he is interested in. If it is soccer - find a good older high school player who would work with him an hour or two a week (do it with a friend and split the cost). Having 3 is actually helpful in working on things. If it is something else then make the assessment on what would be needed. You don’t have to hire a pro player.

Thanks, makes sense. He will probably always be short since both of his parents are on the short side. I am not sure what is going on with him in terms of attitude. He still likes playing pick up games at the park and seems happy then. I told him I am fine if he wants to quit travel after this year, but he is insistent that is not what he wants. He does another individual sport, and I suggested focusing more time and effort on that one instead of travel soccer, but he says he doesn't want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im a big soccer parent. Coached in rec for all our kids. One kid played through college. One passed on college ball as could not play D1. Still, you have to keep a parent ear to the ground. Is this adolescent griping, but overall he enjoys things, or is this part of the process of your kid recognizing that maybe this sport is not for him.

Soccer is not a great sport for everyone even if they are good athletes. The reality is that it is a sport for fast kids. A skilled slow kid can play through high school but they will be constantly challenged.

Step 1 though is a parent assessment. Your kid is smaller now than his peers. Where will he be at 16? Your kid is 12/13 now and lots of growing is yet to be done. You can do the most for your kid by looking ahead and thinking about where he will be size wise at 16,17,18. Speed too is very important in soccer. It’s the reality of the game. Now, a kid may slow down at 12/13/14 due to growth spurts an being temporarily uncoordinated. That’s fine. The kids with early growth spurts have an advantage but every coach knows that others catch up.

Finally - any sport or activity requires practice outside of team practices. Singing, painting, athletics - it doesn’t matter. To get good you have to practice more than everyone else. I learned this years ago with my oldest - who wanted to pitch in high school. I took him to a facility where they gave pitching lessons. I figured this would give him a leg up on everyone. Except, I learned, basically every kid in the area was already doing the equivalent. I learned and got my daughter some outside soccer training starting at 11. She did that for 3 years and it helped make her into a very good player.

So - my advice at this point:

1. Listen and be supportive but don’t make any quick decisions.

2. Assess where he is going to be physically at high school ages. Soccer is pretty forgiving about size but speed is always important.

3. Pick up some outside training/instruction for what he is interested in. If it is soccer - find a good older high school player who would work with him an hour or two a week (do it with a friend and split the cost). Having 3 is actually helpful in working on things. If it is something else then make the assessment on what would be needed. You don’t have to hire a pro player.

Your advice is nonsense after saying soccer is only for fast kids. Typical American ignorant.

Who won Euro 2008, World Cup 2010, Euro 2012 in a row? Yeah, no “fast” players physically, rather (extremely) fast-thinking and superior technical abilities.

[Anonymous]

Your advice is nonsense after saying soccer is only for fast kids. Typical American ignorant.

Who won Euro 2008, World Cup 2010, Euro 2012 in a row? Yeah, no “fast” players physically, rather (extremely) fast-thinking and superior technical abilities.

It depends. If you are a wing or a striker, you've got to be fast. There's no way around it. You have to be technical and smart too. It's not either or.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a big soccer parent. Coached in rec for all our kids. One kid played through college. One passed on college ball as could not play D1. Still, you have to keep a parent ear to the ground. Is this adolescent griping, but overall he enjoys things, or is this part of the process of your kid recognizing that maybe this sport is not for him.

Soccer is not a great sport for everyone even if they are good athletes. The reality is that it is a sport for fast kids. A skilled slow kid can play through high school but they will be constantly challenged.

Step 1 though is a parent assessment. Your kid is smaller now than his peers. Where will he be at 16? Your kid is 12/13 now and lots of growing is yet to be done. You can do the most for your kid by looking ahead and thinking about where he will be size wise at 16,17,18. Speed too is very important in soccer. It’s the reality of the game. Now, a kid may slow down at 12/13/14 due to growth spurts an being temporarily uncoordinated. That’s fine. The kids with early growth spurts have an advantage but every coach knows that others catch up.

Finally - any sport or activity requires practice outside of team practices. Singing, painting, athletics - it doesn’t matter. To get good you have to practice more than everyone else. I learned this years ago with my oldest - who wanted to pitch in high school. I took him to a facility where they gave pitching lessons. I figured this would give him a leg up on everyone. Except, I learned, basically every kid in the area was already doing the equivalent. I learned and got my daughter some outside soccer training starting at 11. She did that for 3 years and it helped make her into a very good player.

So - my advice at this point:

1. Listen and be supportive but don’t make any quick decisions.

2. Assess where he is going to be physically at high school ages. Soccer is pretty forgiving about size but speed is always important.

3. Pick up some outside training/instruction for what he is interested in. If it is soccer - find a good older high school player who would work with him an hour or two a week (do it with a friend and split the cost). Having 3 is actually helpful in working on things. If it is something else then make the assessment on what would be needed. You don’t have to hire a pro player.

Your advice is nonsense after saying soccer is only for fast kids. Typical American ignorant.

Who won Euro 2008, World Cup 2010, Euro 2012 in a row? Yeah, no “fast” players physically, rather (extremely) fast-thinking and superior technical abilities.

yep, a bunch of obese dudes waddling down the pitch. You could drop through league one and into norther league and would probably stiff have difficulty finding any field player who would be classed as slow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a big soccer parent. Coached in rec for all our kids. One kid played through college. One passed on college ball as could not play D1. Still, you have to keep a parent ear to the ground. Is this adolescent griping, but overall he enjoys things, or is this part of the process of your kid recognizing that maybe this sport is not for him.

Soccer is not a great sport for everyone even if they are good athletes. The reality is that it is a sport for fast kids. A skilled slow kid can play through high school but they will be constantly challenged.

Step 1 though is a parent assessment. Your kid is smaller now than his peers. Where will he be at 16? Your kid is 12/13 now and lots of growing is yet to be done. You can do the most for your kid by looking ahead and thinking about where he will be size wise at 16,17,18. Speed too is very important in soccer. It’s the reality of the game. Now, a kid may slow down at 12/13/14 due to growth spurts an being temporarily uncoordinated. That’s fine. The kids with early growth spurts have an advantage but every coach knows that others catch up.

Finally - any sport or activity requires practice outside of team practices. Singing, painting, athletics - it doesn’t matter. To get good you have to practice more than everyone else. I learned this years ago with my oldest - who wanted to pitch in high school. I took him to a facility where they gave pitching lessons. I figured this would give him a leg up on everyone. Except, I learned, basically every kid in the area was already doing the equivalent. I learned and got my daughter some outside soccer training starting at 11. She did that for 3 years and it helped make her into a very good player.

So - my advice at this point:

1. Listen and be supportive but don’t make any quick decisions.

2. Assess where he is going to be physically at high school ages. Soccer is pretty forgiving about size but speed is always important.

3. Pick up some outside training/instruction for what he is interested in. If it is soccer - find a good older high school player who would work with him an hour or two a week (do it with a friend and split the cost). Having 3 is actually helpful in working on things. If it is something else then make the assessment on what would be needed. You don’t have to hire a pro player.

Your advice is nonsense after saying soccer is only for fast kids. Typical American ignorant.

Who won Euro 2008, World Cup 2010, Euro 2012 in a row? Yeah, no “fast” players physically, rather (extremely) fast-thinking and superior technical abilities.

yep, a bunch of obese dudes waddling down the pitch. You could drop through league one and into norther league and would probably stiff have difficulty finding any field player who would be classed as slow

Snorting too much adderall?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a big soccer parent. Coached in rec for all our kids. One kid played through college. One passed on college ball as could not play D1. Still, you have to keep a parent ear to the ground. Is this adolescent griping, but overall he enjoys things, or is this part of the process of your kid recognizing that maybe this sport is not for him.

Soccer is not a great sport for everyone even if they are good athletes. The reality is that it is a sport for fast kids. A skilled slow kid can play through high school but they will be constantly challenged.

Step 1 though is a parent assessment. Your kid is smaller now than his peers. Where will he be at 16? Your kid is 12/13 now and lots of growing is yet to be done. You can do the most for your kid by looking ahead and thinking about where he will be size wise at 16,17,18. Speed too is very important in soccer. It’s the reality of the game. Now, a kid may slow down at 12/13/14 due to growth spurts an being temporarily uncoordinated. That’s fine. The kids with early growth spurts have an advantage but every coach knows that others catch up.

Finally - any sport or activity requires practice outside of team practices. Singing, painting, athletics - it doesn’t matter. To get good you have to practice more than everyone else. I learned this years ago with my oldest - who wanted to pitch in high school. I took him to a facility where they gave pitching lessons. I figured this would give him a leg up on everyone. Except, I learned, basically every kid in the area was already doing the equivalent. I learned and got my daughter some outside soccer training starting at 11. She did that for 3 years and it helped make her into a very good player.

So - my advice at this point:

1. Listen and be supportive but don’t make any quick decisions.

2. Assess where he is going to be physically at high school ages. Soccer is pretty forgiving about size but speed is always important.

3. Pick up some outside training/instruction for what he is interested in. If it is soccer - find a good older high school player who would work with him an hour or two a week (do it with a friend and split the cost). Having 3 is actually helpful in working on things. If it is something else then make the assessment on what would be needed. You don’t have to hire a pro player.

Your advice is nonsense after saying soccer is only for fast kids. Typical American ignorant.

Who won Euro 2008, World Cup 2010, Euro 2012 in a row? Yeah, no “fast” players physically, rather (extremely) fast-thinking and superior technical abilities.

yep, a bunch of obese dudes waddling down the pitch. You could drop through league one and into norther league and would probably stiff have difficulty finding any field player who would be classed as slow

Snorting too much adderall?

Or perhaps not enough?

[Anonymous]

Girls.

[Anonymous]

Send the coach a note and ask if he is available for a quick call to discuss. Is your player motivated and engaged during practice? Is your child fitting in with teammates, or are there some clicks on the team that may be excluding him. I've coached and have seen this many times. Some players will form a click and shun certain players.

He may enjoy playing soccer, but may be having problems with the team. You can, also, go to a practice and watch from a distance to see if there is a challenging dynamic with your child and some teammates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send the coach a note and ask if he is available for a quick call to discuss. Is your player motivated and engaged during practice? Is your child fitting in with teammates, or are there some clicks on the team that may be excluding him. I've coached and have seen this many times. Some players will form a click and shun certain players.

He may enjoy playing soccer, but may be having problems with the team. You can, also, go to a practice and watch from a distance to see if there is a challenging dynamic with your child and some teammates.

This is great advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a big soccer parent. Coached in rec for all our kids. One kid played through college. One passed on college ball as could not play D1. Still, you have to keep a parent ear to the ground. Is this adolescent griping, but overall he enjoys things, or is this part of the process of your kid recognizing that maybe this sport is not for him.

Soccer is not a great sport for everyone even if they are good athletes. The reality is that it is a sport for fast kids. A skilled slow kid can play through high school but they will be constantly challenged.

Step 1 though is a parent assessment. Your kid is smaller now than his peers. Where will he be at 16? Your kid is 12/13 now and lots of growing is yet to be done. You can do the most for your kid by looking ahead and thinking about where he will be size wise at 16,17,18. Speed too is very important in soccer. It’s the reality of the game. Now, a kid may slow down at 12/13/14 due to growth spurts an being temporarily uncoordinated. That’s fine. The kids with early growth spurts have an advantage but every coach knows that others catch up.

Finally - any sport or activity requires practice outside of team practices. Singing, painting, athletics - it doesn’t matter. To get good you have to practice more than everyone else. I learned this years ago with my oldest - who wanted to pitch in high school. I took him to a facility where they gave pitching lessons. I figured this would give him a leg up on everyone. Except, I learned, basically every kid in the area was already doing the equivalent. I learned and got my daughter some outside soccer training starting at 11. She did that for 3 years and it helped make her into a very good player.

So - my advice at this point:

1. Listen and be supportive but don’t make any quick decisions.

2. Assess where he is going to be physically at high school ages. Soccer is pretty forgiving about size but speed is always important.

3. Pick up some outside training/instruction for what he is interested in. If it is soccer - find a good older high school player who would work with him an hour or two a week (do it with a friend and split the cost). Having 3 is actually helpful in working on things. If it is something else then make the assessment on what would be needed. You don’t have to hire a pro player.

Your advice is nonsense after saying soccer is only for fast kids. Typical American ignorant.

Who won Euro 2008, World Cup 2010, Euro 2012 in a row? Yeah, no “fast” players physically, rather (extremely) fast-thinking and superior technical abilities.

Spain won those with F Torres, D Villa, and Ramos. There are 3 speed qualities: raw pace, quickness agility, and anticipation. You seem to imply Spain lacked the first 2. That’s just wrong. Spain had all 3 qualities in almost every player. Torres was a burner as many on that team were. The Germans who
lost are a better example for you but even they have elite athleticism just not special pace Ignorance is not monopolized by country

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send the coach a note and ask if he is available for a quick call to discuss. Is your player motivated and engaged during practice? Is your child fitting in with teammates, or are there some clicks on the team that may be excluding him. I've coached and have seen this many times. Some players will form a click and shun certain players.

He may enjoy playing soccer, but may be having problems with the team. You can, also, go to a practice and watch from a distance to see if there is a challenging dynamic with your child and some teammates.

This happens right around U12/13 in boys. I've seen where they will only pass to certain kids in practices./games.

It tends to work itself out after puberty. But, a good Coach will recognize this and put a stop to it and work on developing team chemistry. The Clubs that laud and fawn over certain kids only on their team are the worst. A Coach sets the tone on how a 'team' comes together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girls.

A little early for 11-year old boys...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls.

A little early for 11-year old boys...

U12 are 5th and 6th graders. Agree.