What commonly known thing did you learn at an embarrassingly older age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think it is a common knowledge that the person with stroller has a priority
for the use of an elevator even if they came last to the lane. It is because the
stroller can not take escalators or stairs, just as a handicap person with a wheelchair,
anyone with wheels has the first priority.
I learned late that people insist on getting into the elevator regardless
of seeing parents with strollers. This is not just courtesy, it is a law.

No it isn’t. Wait your Turn.

In practical terms, it's maybe easier to let someone carting something--stroller, walker, cleaning cart--in first and then everyone else can fit around it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in grad school when someone had to explain what “take a dump” meant.

In high school, one guy said he’d meet us an hour later. Completely naive, I asked what could possibly be that necessary. At which point he choked out that he needed to use the bathroom. Everyone was snickering, and I obliviously asked why he couldn’t just take about three minutes and go. So, this poor guy was completely red and told one of the girls to explain while he fled. I’d never been constipated in my life, so taking 30 minutes to just sit and then needing to shower and relax after (figure out a year later that he was going to manually handle the issue, since we were all going dancing) was completely foreign.

What? He was going to do what? Maybe I’m today years old and learning something new

He was going to masturbate to relieve tension before going out with girls like in that Cameron Diaz movie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think it is a common knowledge that the person with stroller has a priority
for the use of an elevator even if they came last to the lane. It is because the
stroller can not take escalators or stairs, just as a handicap person with a wheelchair,
anyone with wheels has the first priority.
I learned late that people insist on getting into the elevator regardless
of seeing parents with strollers. This is not just courtesy, it is a law.

No it isn’t. Wait your Turn.

So did someone tell you it's a law?

Do we need a thread for embarrassing things you thought were the law/were true but really aren't? That might be fun.

DP here. Wow.
It’s the law of common sense. Those who cannot take the escalator / stairs have priority. Wheelchairs & seniors before strollers.
How are you all adults yet so socially stunted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think it is a common knowledge that the person with stroller has a priority
for the use of an elevator even if they came last to the lane. It is because the
stroller can not take escalators or stairs, just as a handicap person with a wheelchair,
anyone with wheels has the first priority.
I learned late that people insist on getting into the elevator regardless
of seeing parents with strollers. This is not just courtesy, it is a law.

No it isn’t. Wait your Turn.

So did someone tell you it's a law?

Do we need a thread for embarrassing things you thought were the law/were true but really aren't? That might be fun.

DP here. Wow.
It’s the law of common sense. Those who cannot take the escalator / stairs have priority. Wheelchairs & seniors before strollers.
How are you all adults yet so socially stunted?

But you don't seem to have any common sense so ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stand to wipe. I don’t want to accidentally touch the water. Gross.

[phone]

45 years of sitting to wipe and I can assure you that you are in no danger.

[Anonymous]

That Flatbush Brooklyn is named after what happens from wearing control top pantyhose

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to think it is a common knowledge that the person with stroller has a priority
for the use of an elevator even if they came last to the lane. It is because the
stroller can not take escalators or stairs, just as a handicap person with a wheelchair,
anyone with wheels has the first priority.
I learned late that people insist on getting into the elevator regardless
of seeing parents with strollers. This is not just courtesy, it is a law.

Ummm. No. LOL. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in grad school when someone had to explain what “take a dump” meant.

In high school, one guy said he’d meet us an hour later. Completely naive, I asked what could possibly be that necessary. At which point he choked out that he needed to use the bathroom. Everyone was snickering, and I obliviously asked why he couldn’t just take about three minutes and go. So, this poor guy was completely red and told one of the girls to explain while he fled. I’d never been constipated in my life, so taking 30 minutes to just sit and then needing to shower and relax after (figure out a year later that he was going to manually handle the issue, since we were all going dancing) was completely foreign.

What? He was going to do what? Maybe I’m today years old and learning something new

Wait I am needing an answer to this, moderately desperately.

Was he masturbating? Wtf would you do 'manually' for constipation? I'm also today (+ 5 days with NO RESPONSE) years old before I learned this apparently

Yes how do you manually handle using the bathroom? As a man? I know what you can do as a woman. (Reach into your vagina and press against back wall to prompt poo out — gross but it can be done).

For a man? What?

Digital stimulation.

I guess I am dense, because I am still not following. Someone, please, help me out. I’m usually good at this stuff. I’m not the PP that has been waiting for an answer for 5 days, but I feel her pain. What the hell is the OP talking about?

Stick your fingers up your butt and loosen the poo so it comes out.

Or a spoon.

[Anonymous]

[guardian]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in grad school when someone had to explain what “take a dump” meant.

In high school, one guy said he’d meet us an hour later. Completely naive, I asked what could possibly be that necessary. At which point he choked out that he needed to use the bathroom. Everyone was snickering, and I obliviously asked why he couldn’t just take about three minutes and go. So, this poor guy was completely red and told one of the girls to explain while he fled. I’d never been constipated in my life, so taking 30 minutes to just sit and then needing to shower and relax after (figure out a year later that he was going to manually handle the issue, since we were all going dancing) was completely foreign.

What? He was going to do what? Maybe I’m today years old and learning something new

Wait I am needing an answer to this, moderately desperately.

Was he masturbating? Wtf would you do 'manually' for constipation? I'm also today (+ 5 days with NO RESPONSE) years old before I learned this apparently

Yes how do you manually handle using the bathroom? As a man? I know what you can do as a woman. (Reach into your vagina and press against back wall to prompt poo out — gross but it can be done).

For a man? What?

Digital stimulation.

I guess I am dense, because I am still not following. Someone, please, help me out. I’m usually good at this stuff. I’m not the PP that has been waiting for an answer for 5 days, but I feel her pain. What the hell is the OP talking about?

Stick your fingers up your butt and loosen the poo so it comes out.

Or a spoon.

Now the question is, why would he tell somebody what he was going to do? TMI

[Anonymous]

Given the turn the thread has taken, someone should ask Jeff to rename it to things you happily did not know and, in fact, wish you hadn’t just learned from DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was really little and listening to the radio news, I thought that the governor of my state was Mary O'Cuomo.

Hahahaha love this my fellow NYer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given the turn the thread has taken, someone should ask Jeff to rename it to things you happily did not know and, in fact, wish you hadn’t just learned from DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think it is a common knowledge that the person with stroller has a priority
for the use of an elevator even if they came last to the lane. It is because the
stroller can not take escalators or stairs, just as a handicap person with a wheelchair,
anyone with wheels has the first priority.
I learned late that people insist on getting into the elevator regardless
of seeing parents with strollers. This is not just courtesy, it is a law.

No it isn’t. Wait your Turn.

So did someone tell you it's a law?

Do we need a thread for embarrassing things you thought were the law/were true but really aren't? That might be fun.

DP here. Wow.
It’s the law of common sense. Those who cannot take the escalator / stairs have priority. Wheelchairs & seniors before strollers.
How are you all adults yet so socially stunted?

It's definitely not considered common sense. I was in the airport in Boston the other day with my son in his wheelchair, and we were waiting for an elevator. When it came, everyone filed into the elevator, filling it up, then they all turned around and stared at us while the doors closed. Thanks, guys.

My son and I were in Target in MD a few weeks ago waiting for the elevator when a Target employee with a big stocking cart rolled up. Doors opened, she pushed right on in. The airport folks, whatever, but I was pissed that a staffer pushed ahead of us like that.

I take Metro every day, and I always give first priority for the elevators to folks with strollers or wheelchairs. Everyone should.

Anyway, my thing that I learned as an adult were the signs before bridges "Bridge ices before road" (I grew up in a coastal city). For years, I thought it meant a narrow strip of pavement would ice up, not that the entire bridge would be a colder temperature and therefore get slippery before the roadway. I was probably in my 20's before I figured that one out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That the average size of a mans package is about 5 inches. Not 9.

Which did you think was normal? The 9 inches?

[Anonymous]

I never knew Cape Cod was a drug infested hell hole. Why anyone would ever want to visit that dirty needle exchange of a ‘city’ makes no sense to me.