How do I learn to be satisfied as a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Same old covid story. Lost my job, have applied to dozens, no leads. I'm coming to the realization that I'm too old and unqualified for much of anything anymore. But cooking and cleaning all days isn't satisfying - how do I make it so? How do I change my mindset?

[Anonymous]

How many kids do you have? What ages?

I suggest following Flylady (my personal fave) for some perspective and advice.

You can do important volunteer work. It is more needed than ever now. You should not be home all day wiping imaginary dust off the lintels.

[Anonymous]

What an amazing opportunity. You can do *anything* you want. I'd want to write a book on organizational health. And maybe start an Etsy shop. I might want to run for city council. Or advocate for my little suburb to legally be its own city. You've been unshackled from the need to make money, and only need to get the household stuff done you basically already were doing. What will you do with it?

[Anonymous]

Keep applying. Something will come up eventually.

[Anonymous]

I just want to work. Staying at home is isolating, and I hate not having money.

Kids are 6 and 8. They're in school, so I don't understand what I'm even supposed to do. I just drive them and help with homework, but I did that before.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? Do you have any free time at all?

I have had a good experience by picking up freelance and contract work here and there. It really helps me to use my brain for something other than kid/household stuff. It’s also helping me gain a foothold I can use to find work post-Covid. I also recommend setting your rate high if you do this. You get less work, but what you do get feels more worthwhile.

I know it’s hard. I was an accidental SAHM too and it’s very discouraging. You go from working to being in full on mom mode all the time and it’s easy to feel like you’re too far out of the game. But it won’t take much to change that, I promise. My first contract work was some incredibly low paid, miserable online editing work. It sucked, but it reminded me that I am capable. I just had to build from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to work. Staying at home is isolating, and I hate not having money.

Kids are 6 and 8. They're in school, so I don't understand what I'm even supposed to do. I just drive them and help with homework, but I did that before.

Once your house is cleaned and organized, find a passion and start doing it... Help out at shelter or organization close to your heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to work. Staying at home is isolating, and I hate not having money.

Kids are 6 and 8. They're in school, so I don't understand what I'm even supposed to do. I just drive them and help with homework, but I did that before.

If you cannot figure out how to pass your time, it is no wonder no one wants to hire you . Also, your post makes no sense. You said you don't like cooking and cleaning, so you are doing that now, ostensibly more than you did before, right? That is what you are "supposed" to do - stuff around the house. If you don't like doing it, get a retail job for the time being. You sound pretty resourceful though. I would not hire you. I hire people who take initiative.

[Anonymous]

Staying at home isn't for everyone, and that's ok to admit to yourself. And I say that as a content SAHM! My own mother was the same way - zero interest in childcare all day.

Keep applying. If you can't find a job, consider volunteer work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What an amazing opportunity. You can do *anything* you want. I'd want to write a book on organizational health. And maybe start an Etsy shop. I might want to run for city council. Or advocate for my little suburb to legally be its own city. You've been unshackled from the need to make money, and only need to get the household stuff done you basically already were doing. What will you do with it?

That's kind of how I felt when a job loss led to me being at home with our kid for a couple years. Like OP, I have to work -- I could never just be content to cook and clean look after my kid, who is honestly pretty low maintenance. But I was coming out of a really stressful job situation -- my layoff happened in the 5th round of a restructuring during which I'd had six different bosses, two of whom I never actually met in person. It was hell. So after about a month of just decompressing and getting really bored, I sat down and figured out what I would do with myself if money was no object. Now, money actually was an object, as we could get by on one salary but not without sacrifice. But my husband knew what I'd been through and agreed I shouldn't just jump into another job because I was super burned out.

I wound up starting a blog, joining a professional organization for women and making a bunch of new contacts, and then took on a few small marketing/communications jobs via those contacts, mostly for small businesses run by women. I had never worked in marketing but I'm a good writer and I really know business. I did that for a while and eventually turned it into my own business. I know that sounds like a fake story because it's so simple, but it's true. I never would have expected to say that getting laid off wound up being the best thing that could have happened to my career. But it was.

Hang in there OP. It is hard, but it can only get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same old covid story. Lost my job, have applied to dozens, no leads. I'm coming to the realization that I'm too old and unqualified for much of anything anymore. But cooking and cleaning all days isn't satisfying - how do I make it so? How do I change my mindset?

If you can't figure out your life, you actually believe that an anonymous chat room has the answer. Look within yourself and TALK WITH PEOPLE WHO KNOW YOU!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same old covid story. Lost my job, have applied to dozens, no leads. I'm coming to the realization that I'm too old and unqualified for much of anything anymore. But cooking and cleaning all days isn't satisfying - how do I make it so? How do I change my mindset?

OP, your mindset is misguided. You haven't been able to find a job during a pandemic and an economic crisis and the only alternative you see is cooking and cleaning all day? No. You did not become a SAHM. You lost your job. You may or may not find another but it sounds like money is not an issue if you are contemplating just throwing in the towel after 6 months. So decide what you want to do next. Volunteer? Go back to school? Start a hobby? A new profession?

You need to get over this idea that you are either working at your old job or just taking care of your home. There are like a million things you could do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What an amazing opportunity. You can do *anything* you want. I'd want to write a book on organizational health. And maybe start an Etsy shop. I might want to run for city council. Or advocate for my little suburb to legally be its own city. You've been unshackled from the need to make money, and only need to get the household stuff done you basically already were doing. What will you do with it?

Well, this is only really true if you don't need money STAT. Most people have to work to pay bills so finding a paying job is really the only thing they can do.

[Anonymous]

Take on a new hobby, exercise more, organize your entire home, take on home projects, binge watch shows, take baths and do facial masks a few times per week, read a lot, sell things on facebook marketplace.

[Anonymous]

I'm wondering the same thing. I'm home working full-time with two small kids remote learning. I'm tired of my job and could find more interesting part-time work. I have a sick feeling we're going to be keeping them home into next year (not DC area) and I don't like how the possible hybrid set-up is sounded-- masked kindergartners practically chained to their desks all day kinda thing, sounds very sci-fi and just unhealthy for little kids. I don't know if I can keep up the work from home thing through next year. My home life isn't designed for this.

Work has become unsatisfying and I report to someone I have no respect for. I'd love to just leave, even for less money. I feel like DH and I could make it work. I think if you have a few interesting hobbies, can bring in extra income if it's needed and keep up a social life and take care of yourself, go for it. I've always felt a drive to work, and I feel weird not working, but I also feel worse than weird working in a job that feels demoralizing and dead end.