How do I learn to be satisfied as a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same old covid story. Lost my job, have applied to dozens, no leads. I'm coming to the realization that I'm too old and unqualified for much of anything anymore. But cooking and cleaning all days isn't satisfying - how do I make it so? How do I change my mindset?

OP, your mindset is misguided. You haven't been able to find a job during a pandemic and an economic crisis and the only alternative you see is cooking and cleaning all day? No. You did not become a SAHM. You lost your job. You may or may not find another but it sounds like money is not an issue if you are contemplating just throwing in the towel after 6 months. So decide what you want to do next. Volunteer? Go back to school? Start a hobby? A new profession?

You need to get over this idea that you are either working at your old job or just taking care of your home. There are like a million things you could do.

This.

But also, I’m a SAHM with three young kids (one in elementary) and I’m bored as crap right now. There’s simultaneously too much to do and too little. I didn’t realize how much my enjoying being a SAHM relied on being out in the world - at playgroups or the library or the playground (unmasked and having casual conversations with other moms, which I’m not doing now). Now is not the time to judge whether you like SAH.

[Anonymous]

This is a weird time. Just get through the day and keep applying for jobs.

Do the next right thing...
Hike one day.
Start a small side hustle like selling on Etsy or Ebay.
Have lunch with colleagues you miss seeing and network towards that next job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take on a new hobby, exercise more, organize your entire home, take on home projects, binge watch shows, take baths and do facial masks a few times per week, read a lot, sell things on facebook marketplace.

All of this petty and boring. Doesn’t sound like OP wants to do facials and sell stuff on Facebook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same old covid story. Lost my job, have applied to dozens, no leads. I'm coming to the realization that I'm too old and unqualified for much of anything anymore. But cooking and cleaning all days isn't satisfying - how do I make it so? How do I change my mindset?

OP - what did you do before you lost your job? When was the last time you looked for a job? If you are anything like me, you are WAY out of the game. If you want another job, you can find one, finding a job is A LOT different than it was in 2008 (which is the last time *I* was in the market before 2020).

[Anonymous]

OP, you are not a SAHM. You are a laid of WOHM.

Try and find another job. SAHM is not a fall back job because you do not have employment.

Most SAHMs in DMV leave well paying jobs to stay home with their kids.

[Anonymous]

Of course, keep applying for jobs. Network and socialize to the extent you can/it is safe.

On a separate note, if this happened to me, I would run for school board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course, keep applying for jobs. Network and socialize to the extent you can/it is safe.

On a separate note, if this happened to me, I would run for school board.

That is interesting. Are you a parent who is involved in the school and PTA as a volunteer?

[Anonymous]

The problem is, we no longer live in DC. DH is military, I telecommuted for the same company for 18 years (since we left), and jobs here are not plentiful. I really do feel like a new SAHM. Minus the kids at home all day. We are ok financially, and he wishes I'd spend some money on what I enjoy, but I can't. Not without bringing in my own. And like a PP said, selling things on FB is not exactly how I envisioned doing that.

[Anonymous]

Go back to school for a useful degree. Everything is online right now, so spend the next three years learning to pivot. Take Covid out of it...what would you have done if you were laid off? If being a SAHM isn't for you it doesn't have to be.

Also, the fact that you think being a SAHM solely consists of cooking and cleaning points to you not being very good at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same old covid story. Lost my job, have applied to dozens, no leads. I'm coming to the realization that I'm too old and unqualified for much of anything anymore. But cooking and cleaning all days isn't satisfying - how do I make it so? How do I change my mindset?

Clean other people’s homes for a living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go back to school for a useful degree. Everything is online right now, so spend the next three years learning to pivot. Take Covid out of it...what would you have done if you were laid off? If being a SAHM isn't for you it doesn't have to be.

Also, the fact that you think being a SAHM solely consists of cooking and cleaning points to you not being very good at it.

Of course I'm not good at it. I'd have done it before now if I was.

Not sure I can pay for more school. I have a masters in engineering, but a very specialized skill set. Maybe DH would pay for some sort of certificate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same old covid story. Lost my job, have applied to dozens, no leads. I'm coming to the realization that I'm too old and unqualified for much of anything anymore. But cooking and cleaning all days isn't satisfying - how do I make it so? How do I change my mindset?

OP, how old are you? Your feeling that you're too old and unqualified to do anything is probably depression rather than reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same old covid story. Lost my job, have applied to dozens, no leads. I'm coming to the realization that I'm too old and unqualified for much of anything anymore. But cooking and cleaning all days isn't satisfying - how do I make it so? How do I change my mindset?

OP, how old are you? Your feeling that you're too old and unqualified to do anything is probably depression rather than reality.

51.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same old covid story. Lost my job, have applied to dozens, no leads. I'm coming to the realization that I'm too old and unqualified for much of anything anymore. But cooking and cleaning all days isn't satisfying - how do I make it so? How do I change my mindset?

I’m a sahm and I hate cleaning and cooking. What I *do* like is not being rushed all the time. Being able to be really intentional with my time, esp with husband and kids. I’m able to run errands and exercise and complete hobbies while kids are in school. Then be present when everyone is home. When I was working, I was just stretched too thin. Everything felt rushed. It was hard to just BE.

OP, if you don’t know who you are and what you enjoy doing with a little down time, now’s a great time to figure it out. Do you know your enneagram? What fills you up? What drains you? Start journaling. Soul search. The job will come. Find you first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go back to school for a useful degree. Everything is online right now, so spend the next three years learning to pivot. Take Covid out of it...what would you have done if you were laid off? If being a SAHM isn't for you it doesn't have to be.

Also, the fact that you think being a SAHM solely consists of cooking and cleaning points to you not being very good at it.

Of course I'm not good at it. I'd have done it before now if I was.

Not sure I can pay for more school. I have a masters in engineering, but a very specialized skill set. Maybe DH would pay for some sort of certificate.

My point was that you need to understand that being a SAHM is a lot more than cooking and cleaning, and good SAHMs understand that. Maybe you will like it more when you try to do more.