If you had a second child only to give your first a sibling...

[Anonymous]

...how did that work out for your family? Regrets or worth it?

[Anonymous]

I'm curious to hear the responses as well. I have a DD and the more I think about my adult life as it is, and her future as an adult, the more I think she needs a sibling. I want her to have someone who is family when I am old and long gone

[Anonymous]

You don’t have a second child for a child. You have it for you.

[Anonymous]

My kids strongly dislike each other. I hope it changes eventually!

[Anonymous]

Not a reason to bring a child into the world.

[Anonymous]

Have a second child because YOU want a second child.

There is zero guarantee siblings will be close as kids or adults.

There is zero gurantee that the siblings will help each other with your end of life care.

Take a look at the Family Relationship forum that should clue you in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a reason to bring a child into the world.

I have so many friends with one sibling who is no help or a total drain. Do not have a second child for your first child.

[Anonymous]

I’m an only child dealing with aging parents who are being difficult. I’m so grateful that it’s only me having to deal with this. Having a sibling to also deal with would be a nightmare!

[Anonymous]

So no one has done this? Come on, if Kris and Bruce Jenner did it, surely others have!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m an only child dealing with aging parents who are being difficult. I’m so grateful that it’s only me having to deal with this. Having a sibling to also deal with would be a nightmare!

Well, actually my sibling is a great help with our ‘difficult’ parents. I can’t imagine being in your situation...that must suck.

[Anonymous]

EXCELLENTLY.

Our first has special needs. We decided to have a second to give him a chance to work on socialization skills within his own home; and to experience the joy of parenting a "normal" child. We could have had another child with special needs, and it took us some years to decide because of that. But DC2 is highly functional, quick-witted, musical and altogether a delight. I believe our firstborn would not have developed as well as he has were it not for his sibling constantly engaging him and interacting with him. They have a close bond.

[Anonymous]

Not during a pandemic I don't. Siblings aren't that great for other kids. They fight, a lot. Many don't like each other as adults either.

[Anonymous]

I have an only, and we were "one and done" and then tried for a sibling and then gave up. The more families I see, the more I think age gaps matter to the sibling relationship. Having them super close together, or more than 5 years apart, seem to both work well. The 2 to 4 year gap seems really hard and seems to have the most sibling rivalry.

Neither DH nor I are close to our siblings but I do like talking to my sister about our parents. For me the idea of "giving a sibling" is centered around DD having somebody to talk to who shares her experience of growing up ... nice to have but not vital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m an only child dealing with aging parents who are being difficult. I’m so grateful that it’s only me having to deal with this. Having a sibling to also deal with would be a nightmare!

We took care of my MIL and my BIL didn't help. In some ways it was much easier. With my parents and sibling its caused the great divide. They want me to do all the work but she gets to make all the decisions. Hard no for me and she can deal with it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:EXCELLENTLY.

Our first has special needs. We decided to have a second to give him a chance to work on socialization skills within his own home; and to experience the joy of parenting a "normal" child. We could have had another child with special needs, and it took us some years to decide because of that. But DC2 is highly functional, quick-witted, musical and altogether a delight. I believe our firstborn would not have developed as well as he has were it not for his sibling constantly engaging him and interacting with him. They have a close bond.

That's not fair to your second child at all.