Husband hid some expensive purchases

[Anonymous]

I didn’t realize I was logged into my husband prime on our desktop, and I was checking my orders to see if my DDs masks had been delivered and I discovered 2 expensive purchases that he is having sent to an amazon locker. Clearly he did not want me to know about these purchases. Things are tight right now with us having to pay a lot more for child care due our prior center going bankrupt and closing it’s doors. I’m so hurt, no the purchases weren’t anything bad, but I am so upset that he tried to hide them from me. I feel like this is a huge trust issue. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Print out what you found and confront him about it.

[Anonymous]

Do you have separate finances?

Have you gotten on his case for spending at this level without checking with him before?

[Anonymous]

I know this is different for every family but how big/how bad? And yes what is your marital history on spending and financial issues?

[Anonymous]

Do you have an agreement on some threshold over which you discuss? It's not clear that he thought he was supposed to tell you. I don't share every purchase with my spouse, probably don't share most purchases.

[Anonymous]

who makes the money? you/DH/or both?

[Anonymous]

what was it? link? maybe we want one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Print out what you found and confront him about it.

Yeah, you need to have the uncomfortable conversation about it.

[Anonymous]

It totally depends on how you share finances. If it was his discretionary budget and he just didn't want to talk with you about how he was spending it, that's one thing. If it's a joint account or you're not able to meet your joint budget, then you have to have a hard conversation about it. Try to wait until you're calm and approach it with an open mind. Remember that even if he was wrong, he may already know it was a mistake.

[Anonymous]

Without context, it's hard to judge. He could be the biggest jerk or you could be the most controlling wife.
Sure, he should have told you, but sure there's a reason he didn't. Maybe it's your would be reaction that causes it.

I find it weird that each one of you has a separated Prime account based on your very first sentence.

[Anonymous]

Who cares?

I recall a thread about a wife spending $150/month on Hobby Lobby crap and people said that wasn't the husband's business.

Let him live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize I was logged into my husband prime on our desktop, and I was checking my orders to see if my DDs masks had been delivered and I discovered 2 expensive purchases that he is having sent to an amazon locker. Clearly he did not want me to know about these purchases. Things are tight right now with us having to pay a lot more for child care due our prior center going bankrupt and closing it’s doors. I’m so hurt, no the purchases weren’t anything bad, but I am so upset that he tried to hide them from me. I feel like this is a huge trust issue. What do I do?

Do you have two prime accounts? That makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize I was logged into my husband prime on our desktop, and I was checking my orders to see if my DDs masks had been delivered and I discovered 2 expensive purchases that he is having sent to an amazon locker. Clearly he did not want me to know about these purchases. Things are tight right now with us having to pay a lot more for child care due our prior center going bankrupt and closing it’s doors. I’m so hurt, no the purchases weren’t anything bad, but I am so upset that he tried to hide them from me. I feel like this is a huge trust issue. What do I do?

Do you have two prime accounts? That makes no sense.

Two emails can share the same prime account. I can't see my husband's orders on Amazon.

[Anonymous]

How much and what are we talking about here?

I’m a SAHM and I make most of my charges on my old credit card. Cc gets paid off by joint account. DH’s entire income goes into our joint checking account. I don’t necessarily hide what I buy but sometimes I may leave a bag in my trunk or put it in my closet. I have nothing to hide but I don’t necessarily want DH scrutinizing my Sephora purchases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize I was logged into my husband prime on our desktop, and I was checking my orders to see if my DDs masks had been delivered and I discovered 2 expensive purchases that he is having sent to an amazon locker. Clearly he did not want me to know about these purchases. Things are tight right now with us having to pay a lot more for child care due our prior center going bankrupt and closing it’s doors. I’m so hurt, no the purchases weren’t anything bad, but I am so upset that he tried to hide them from me. I feel like this is a huge trust issue. What do I do?

Do you have two prime accounts? That makes no sense.

Right? Why would you pay for two Prime accounts? Unless perhaps one is for business, in which case you better hope the husband isn't buying personal stuff on his business account. That's a whole different ball of wax.