Invisible pregnancy
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Anonymous
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None of my circle is meeting up due to COVID-19. Families in states with a 3-hour drive away. No colleagues or surprise party because of WFH.
Would you feel resentful? |
Anonymous
| I'd be thrilled, but it takes all kinds. |
Anonymous
| Maybe explore why you need attention to celebrate you and why all of this makes you feel resentful. |
Anonymous
Am I allowed to say that about brides/grooms still insisting on weddings with more than 10 people during a pandemic? |
Anonymous
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I think this is just a time where if something is important to you - like being "seen" and acknowledged for your pregnancy - then it's on you to ask someone to take charge of it, or take charge of it yourself.
Organize a Zoom shower, ask 3 friends to gather 10' apart in a park for a mini shower, whatever. But so many people are going through so many logistically, financially, emotionally, and socially challenging times, that we really can't expect them to do these as normal. They can't afford them or don't have the bandwidth for them or are uncomfortable doing them. So if it's important to you, save everyone the passive aggressive hostility and just make a thing and ask people to do the thing. |
Anonymous
This. It is within your ability to make it happen. Go forth and don't be resentful. |
Anonymous
yes |
Anonymous
| My friends and family still all ask about my pregnancy. I can still send them ultrasound pictures and bump pictures to those who care (pretty much just my sister). I don’t need to be fawned over publicly to feel like people are invested in and care about this pregnancy. |
Anonymous
| Plus I promise you your colleagues don’t care... |
Anonymous
+1. My ideal announcement is one where I have the baby already in my arms. |
Anonymous
| Is this your first? Were you not aware of the pandemic when you got pregnant? |
Anonymous
Yes. You are ridiculous and so are they. The reward of getting marriage is the marriage, not the wedding. The reward of pregnancy is the baby, not the attention. |
Anonymous
| I'm in the same situation. I wouldn't say I'm resentful, but yes I am disappointed that we won't be able to celebrate in the usual ways. As others have said above, if you want others to make a fuss over you (no judgment!) talk to your close friends/sister etc and see if you all can put together some sort of virtual shower. An upside to this is if you're like me and have friends and family across the country (and world), they more will be able to participate in a virtual shower than the usual in person event. |
Anonymous
| Am I the only one who didn’t want a wedding or baby shower? |
Anonymous
| Its okay to be upset, but everyone is losing out on something. It's just the world we have today. |