Invisible pregnancy

[Anonymous]

I do miss getting together with friends and family, but I don't feel resentful. This is my 2nd baby and I think I might feel like I was missing out if I didn't have baby showers and all that the first time around.

Maybe try looking on the bright side? It can be hard, but I was thinking about how lucky I was to telework through the worst of my morning sickness and now to be comfortable at home with my feet propped up when I'm feeling tired in my 3rd tri, instead of on the metro and running to meetings.

[Anonymous]

I am thrilled to be pregnant now. Working from home is amazing when I have to pee all the time. Never felt the need to announce or cover up the pregnancy before I was ready. Your nearest and dearest will still fawn over you through text and calls and gifts. Everyone else is secondary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who didn’t want a wedding or baby shower?

We eloped so never had a bridal shower and really didn’t want a baby shower but friends insisted. I felt very embarrassed the whole time.

[Anonymous]

I didn't have much of a bridal shower, but we didn't have a traditional wedding either. We did a weddingmoon and had whoever could make it there for the long weekend. We did a more traditional reception 6 weeks later near my parents and a family BBQ with my husband's family after that (only his parents came to the reception, even though we invited everyone)

Baby showers are ok, I guess, but only to see all my friends and hear whatever advice people have to give. That can me done virtually.

Your pregnancy isn't invisible to those who care about you unless you are keeping it completely secret for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Having a baby to get attention is the dumbest thing in the world.

Once that baby is born, no one cares about you. Starts in the delivery room, lol. Everyone calls you "Mom" because no one cares about your name anymore. You're Larlo/Larla's Mom and that's the extent of other people caring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having a baby to get attention is the dumbest thing in the world.

Once that baby is born, no one cares about you. Starts in the delivery room, lol. Everyone calls you "Mom" because no one cares about your name anymore. You're Larlo/Larla's Mom and that's the extent of other people caring.

I completely agree, and yet women do it ALL THE TIME. I am watching my unmarried coworker’s train wreck pregnancy as it happens. When she doesn’t get the attention she needs from the man who got her pregnant (they were together all of three months) she is going to create some drama at work so we all have to pay attention to her.

[Anonymous]

You can take loads and loads of pics and put them on social media if you want attention OP. Have a zoom shower, again, if you want attention.

[Anonymous]

OP, a friend of mine is pregnant rn with her first, and at her virutal baby shower I learned that she joined some kind of online/distance pregnant ladies group run by a doula in California? It sounded a little nuts to me (they all have crystals from the lady running it and they're supposed to send each other support while holding them, evidently) but she was feeling very disconnected and unsupported during lockdown so it has been really nice for her. She's also probably going to do the "virtual" P.A.C.E. once the baby comes. Maybe google around and see if you can find a distance support group?

There's nothing wrong with wanting to focus on your pregnancy and being sad that it's happening during a pandemic. But I agree with PPs that you've got to take some control if you want it to be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having a baby to get attention is the dumbest thing in the world.

Once that baby is born, no one cares about you. Starts in the delivery room, lol. Everyone calls you "Mom" because no one cares about your name anymore. You're Larlo/Larla's Mom and that's the extent of other people caring.

This is hilarious and so true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its okay to be upset, but everyone is losing out on something. It's just the world we have today.

+1. Especially if this is your first pregnancy.

I just had my second during the pandemic and I think it has been much easier to focus on the positive of this whole mess than it would have been as a first time parent. It would have been a bummer to not have a shower, not be able to have our parents and friends get to meet the new baby, not meet other new parents, and have to worry even more about making the right decisions when it comes to childcare. If this is your first, I'm extra sorry

But there are some benefits to having a baby now! Not having to commute hugely pregnant, not having to pump, not having to buy in between sized work clothes, etc. But I think it's completely fine for you to be disappointed about missing out on the normal parts of pregnancy and new parenthood.