hand me downs again

[Anonymous]

Can someone please tell me if this is outrageous. Friends with an older baby offered some hand me down clothes. After the exchange the I got a text that some of the outfits have been labeled as favorites and I was asked to give them back when I was finished with them.

[Anonymous]

People are weird. This one has an easy solution - find out which ones are the favorites, put them in a box now, put the box on a shelf and give them back after a year or whatever. Or give them back now and just say you’re too afraid you’ll stain them.

Don’t hold onto your feelings about this, just let it go. Life is too short.

[Anonymous]

What were you planning to do with them once your baby outgrew them? It seems it wouldn’t interfere with your enjoyment of the clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone please tell me if this is outrageous. Friends with an older baby offered some hand me down clothes. After the exchange the I got a text that some of the outfits have been labeled as favorites and I was asked to give them back when I was finished with them.

Outrageous? No. It sounds like communication might be better? I have a friend who gave us some clothes and then wanted them back after DD outgrew them. It was fine because I had taken photos of the clothes randomly so I knew which ones they were. Otherwise no way I would have been able to pick out which ones were hers.

[Anonymous]

I would ljust give them back now...No need to keep track No worries about stains or tears.

[Anonymous]

I wouldnt take clothes if someone wanted them back. I would ask her to come now and get the ones she wants back and just give them back now. Life is stressful enough without worrying about staining or damaging someone elses favorite clothing.

[Anonymous]

I'd just give them back now. Not worth the worry that they will get stained or lost. I got hand-me-downs, but no one wanted them back. You definitely need to say that up front, because once they are mixed in with other stuff it might be impossible to remember who gave you what. And hand-me-downs aren't worth the hassle.

[Anonymous]

It’s not outrageous, but I’d be a bit peeved that they didn’t say something before I accepted them - I love hand me downs, but I am not interested in them if I have to give them back. I don’t want to keep track, worry about stains, storage, etc.

So, I’d box up the ones they want returned and give them back now, saying something nice like “Oh, I didn’t realize! I don’t want to worry about staining them, so I’ll just give them back to you now” with your thanks for the other clothes. And in the future, I’d make sure to clarify with this person before accepting any hand-me-downs that they should keep any they’ll want in the future.

I do think that people who want hand me downs back need to state that up front, it’s a whole different ballgame.

[Anonymous]

Give all of the clothes back and buy your own.

[Anonymous]

Yep some people are a little nuts. Tell her you will have a lot going on and thanks for the borrowing offer but sounds best if she just keeps the favorites out of the box now.

[Anonymous]

It's not outrageous but it is unnecessarily complicated. I had a friend who all but begged us to come take their baby stuff when we had ours since they were done having kids. Then as we were picking it up they told us that they wanted to be able to pass some of it to her sister if/when she had kids (not in a relationship currently). I said "of course! take whatever you think she'd like!" but they wanted us to take it all, use it, but save "the nice stuff" for her when/if.

I still, to this day, have no idea what they're expecting from us if her sister gets married/pregnant, or if that expectation has a time limit (will we get a call in 2029?). We still have most of it in case we have a second so I'm just vaguely planning to give them right of first refusal when we are 100% sure we're done with babies.

[Anonymous]

It is obnoxious!

I would not want clothes that people expected me to keep track of and return. When you have a baby, time is precious, just bag them up and return them.

[Anonymous]

So sorry Sue, If they are favorites pleasse keep them. I can not guarentee you will get them back otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not outrageous but it is unnecessarily complicated. I had a friend who all but begged us to come take their baby stuff when we had ours since they were done having kids. Then as we were picking it up they told us that they wanted to be able to pass some of it to her sister if/when she had kids (not in a relationship currently). I said "of course! take whatever you think she'd like!" but they wanted us to take it all, use it, but save "the nice stuff" for her when/if.

I still, to this day, have no idea what they're expecting from us if her sister gets married/pregnant, or if that expectation has a time limit (will we get a call in 2029?). We still have most of it in case we have a second so I'm just vaguely planning to give them right of first refusal when we are 100% sure we're done with babies.

OP here. Yes this is similar vibe of this offering. They initiated and seemed so eager to give the clothes I just said yes even though I didnt really need anything. It seems they are really excited about the high end baby clothes -- like its some prize. Meanwhile i dont care much -- kid is mostly in Carters onesies over a diaper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sorry Sue, If they are favorites pleasse keep them. I can not guarentee you will get them back otherwise.

+1. Give them back now. I had a friend do that except she first said I could keep then, then changed her mind about having another kid and later asked for them back. It was totally a hassle and an awkward position to be in since I had already passed on some things to non-local family. If your friend is telling you now that she wants them back, just put them aside and give them back the next time you see her.