Mother with suspected ADD

[Anonymous]

I’m a mom of four kids 8 and under and have been medicated with Zoloft for postpartum depression
and anxiety for over five years. I don’t have the attention span I used to have, but my psychiatrist dismissed my concerns at my last appointment. Who should I consult with moving forward? Any tips? Thank you, DCUM friends!

[Anonymous]

Do you have a good relationship with your primary doctor? I’m thinking refer to get an endocrinologist work up as well. I hear you, as I think there is a huge number of women with ADD that get misdiagnosed with depression or have it alongside. I bet you are a great mom, and giving all your energy to your family. In the meantime try and organize your life as though you do have ADD. Make the changes for family flow you can do to support a more harmonious day to day.

[Anonymous]

I mean... ADD is a developmental disorder, not something that can appear later in life like depression/anxiety.
I would think the diminished sustained attention is due to having 4 under 8! (I also have 4 under 8). Trying to respond to Multiple children with multiple requests will cause add symptoms in anyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom of four kids 8 and under and have been medicated with Zoloft for postpartum depression
and anxiety for over five years. I don’t have the attention span I used to have, but my psychiatrist dismissed my concerns at my last appointment. Who should I consult with moving forward? Any tips? Thank you, DCUM friends!

That’s not what ADHD is. That’s a side effect of having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean... ADD is a developmental disorder, not something that can appear later in life like depression/anxiety.
I would think the diminished sustained attention is due to having 4 under 8! (I also have 4 under 8). Trying to respond to Multiple children with multiple requests will cause add symptoms in anyone

That's not necessarily true. Sometimes people can compensate until there's too much going on. This is why people often are not diagnosed until later in life. This is why you get married without realizing your partner has ADD because life is simpler and then, once kids come along and work gets more demanding, your partner isn't able to handle it. I do not know if OP has ADD, but if she suspects she should investigate, why not?

[Anonymous]

Rather than focusing on dx or meds, focus on what you can do now to start fixing the problem.

Use a calendar app on your phone. It doesn’t matter how big or small the events are, how often they repeat. Set a default reminder time (mine is 15 minutes), so that you’ll have a reminder, even if you only make the event and get start time in before saving (usually happens for me, due to interruptions). I try to set up specific reminders too: bedtime has 15, 10, 5, 2 and 1 minute; going out the door has the same; and reminders before school and other events start 1.5-2 hours prior. There’s no way I would even try to navigate dl with 2+ kids without a calendar with reminders, it just wouldn’t happen.

Also, I highly recommend an Apple Watch. I get reminders from my calendar on my watch, without needing to have my phone out all day. Anything I need to remember that isn’t attached to an event or isn’t going to happen the same day, I just dictate a text to myself. Then, after kids are in bed, I transfer those texts into google calendar and my note pad.

Keep a routine going. It’s easier to get up at 4.30, 5.30, 6 everyday and enjoy time to yourself than to jump back and forth between 5 for school days, 6.30 on weekends and maybe 7 all summer. Do the same routine every morning before kids get up, no matter how large or small. I get up, toilet, shower (no hair) and brush my teeth and I’m in the kitchen within 10 minutes. I start every day with a smoothie of chia, a little Greek yogurt, a few seeds of nuts, spinach and a frozen berry or other strong fruit (apples and pears don’t work well). That finishes waking me up so I’m ready for kids. You may want coffee instead, or to shower after getting something to eat/drink. It doesn’t matter, just create a routine that works as time for yourself before kids are up.

Start each child on a list of chores, for your sanity. Your oldest is 8, but I don’t know old the others are. Anyone in first grade and up can be responsible for cleaning up and storing their own school supplies. They can be responsible for putting all their papers in their folder to put it away. They can be responsible for cleaning up their own clothes and toys and reminding younger kids to clean up theirs. They can bathe themselves when asked (though I agree that kids with long hair need help rinsing it). Look at it from this perspective: your kids can build self-independence while you focus more on keeping the house moving.

It’s hard enough to have several kids running every which way. It’s harder still if you don’t remember what child a told you two minutes ago. I get it. Just find the tools you need to be able to compensate and put your older kids in charge of as much of their own schedule and things as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean... ADD is a developmental disorder, not something that can appear later in life like depression/anxiety.
I would think the diminished sustained attention is due to having 4 under 8! (I also have 4 under 8). Trying to respond to Multiple children with multiple requests will cause add symptoms in anyone

That's not necessarily true. Sometimes people can compensate until there's too much going on. This is why people often are not diagnosed until later in life. This is why you get married without realizing your partner has ADD because life is simpler and then, once kids come along and work gets more demanding, your partner isn't able to handle it. I do not know if OP has ADD, but if she suspects she should investigate, why not?

This!

[Anonymous]

OP, find another doctor who has expertise with ADHD and women and dxing adults.

I myself was dxed in my mid 20s. SO MANY WOMEN are put on antidepressants instead of dxed and treated for ADHD.

I follow some ADHD focused accounts on twitter and on some threads there will be 30 women who have the same stories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rather than focusing on dx or meds, focus on what you can do now to start fixing the problem.

Use a calendar app on your phone. It doesn’t matter how big or small the events are, how often they repeat. Set a default reminder time (mine is 15 minutes), so that you’ll have a reminder, even if you only make the event and get start time in before saving (usually happens for me, due to interruptions). I try to set up specific reminders too: bedtime has 15, 10, 5, 2 and 1 minute; going out the door has the same; and reminders before school and other events start 1.5-2 hours prior. There’s no way I would even try to navigate dl with 2+ kids without a calendar with reminders, it just wouldn’t happen.

Also, I highly recommend an Apple Watch. I get reminders from my calendar on my watch, without needing to have my phone out all day. Anything I need to remember that isn’t attached to an event or isn’t going to happen the same day, I just dictate a text to myself. Then, after kids are in bed, I transfer those texts into google calendar and my note pad.

Keep a routine going. It’s easier to get up at 4.30, 5.30, 6 everyday and enjoy time to yourself than to jump back and forth between 5 for school days, 6.30 on weekends and maybe 7 all summer. Do the same routine every morning before kids get up, no matter how large or small. I get up, toilet, shower (no hair) and brush my teeth and I’m in the kitchen within 10 minutes. I start every day with a smoothie of chia, a little Greek yogurt, a few seeds of nuts, spinach and a frozen berry or other strong fruit (apples and pears don’t work well). That finishes waking me up so I’m ready for kids. You may want coffee instead, or to shower after getting something to eat/drink. It doesn’t matter, just create a routine that works as time for yourself before kids are up.

Start each child on a list of chores, for your sanity. Your oldest is 8, but I don’t know old the others are. Anyone in first grade and up can be responsible for cleaning up and storing their own school supplies. They can be responsible for putting all their papers in their folder to put it away. They can be responsible for cleaning up their own clothes and toys and reminding younger kids to clean up theirs. They can bathe themselves when asked (though I agree that kids with long hair need help rinsing it). Look at it from this perspective: your kids can build self-independence while you focus more on keeping the house moving.

It’s hard enough to have several kids running every which way. It’s harder still if you don’t remember what child a told you two minutes ago. I get it. Just find the tools you need to be able to compensate and put your older kids in charge of as much of their own schedule and things as possible.

These are good tips but she should be looking for a provider who will treat her and get that squared away first. Without medication there is no way I could follow your advice here. It is completely overwhelming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom of four kids 8 and under and have been medicated with Zoloft for postpartum depression
and anxiety for over five years. I don’t have the attention span I used to have, but my psychiatrist dismissed my concerns at my last appointment. Who should I consult with moving forward? Any tips? Thank you, DCUM friends!

That’s not what ADHD is. That’s a side effect of having kids.

Agree. Your attention span tends to be the same as your youngest child because you intuitively check on the child as aften as that child changes interest -- its to keep the baby from being eaten by wolves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom of four kids 8 and under and have been medicated with Zoloft for postpartum depression
and anxiety for over five years. I don’t have the attention span I used to have, but my psychiatrist dismissed my concerns at my last appointment. Who should I consult with moving forward? Any tips? Thank you, DCUM friends!

That’s not what ADHD is. That’s a side effect of having kids.

Agree. Your attention span tends to be the same as your youngest child because you intuitively check on the child as aften as that child changes interest -- its to keep the baby from being eaten by wolves.

She has 4 kids so this isn't her first rodeo. That she is treated for depression and anxiety and is still not doing well is incredibly significant. Most women with undxed ADHD struggle with depression and anxiety because of the untreated ADHD. For the psych to dismiss her concerns out of hand is disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom of four kids 8 and under and have been medicated with Zoloft for postpartum depression
and anxiety for over five years. I don’t have the attention span I used to have, but my psychiatrist dismissed my concerns at my last appointment. Who should I consult with moving forward? Any tips? Thank you, DCUM friends!

That’s not what ADHD is. That’s a side effect of having kids.

Agree. Your attention span tends to be the same as your youngest child because you intuitively check on the child as aften as that child changes interest -- its to keep the baby from being eaten by wolves.

She has 4 kids so this isn't her first rodeo. That she is treated for depression and anxiety and is still not doing well is incredibly significant. Most women with undxed ADHD struggle with depression and anxiety because of the untreated ADHD. For the psych to dismiss her concerns out of hand is disturbing.

Nothing you said counters the PPs. He dismissed her concerns of ADHD, not the other conditions for which she is being treated. Parenting four kids under 8 is very, very, very, difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom of four kids 8 and under and have been medicated with Zoloft for postpartum depression
and anxiety for over five years. I don’t have the attention span I used to have, but my psychiatrist dismissed my concerns at my last appointment. Who should I consult with moving forward? Any tips? Thank you, DCUM friends!

That’s not what ADHD is. That’s a side effect of having kids.

Agree. Your attention span tends to be the same as your youngest child because you intuitively check on the child as aften as that child changes interest -- its to keep the baby from being eaten by wolves.

She has 4 kids so this isn't her first rodeo. That she is treated for depression and anxiety and is still not doing well is incredibly significant. Most women with undxed ADHD struggle with depression and anxiety because of the untreated ADHD. For the psych to dismiss her concerns out of hand is disturbing.

Nothing you said counters the PPs. He dismissed her concerns of ADHD, not the other conditions for which she is being treated. Parenting four kids under 8 is very, very, very, difficult.

The point is that women are massively undxed for many things, and the combo of depression and anxiety being caused by untreated ADHD is extremely common for women. Ignoring those symptoms and assuming she just doesn't know what having young kids is like is insulting.

[Anonymous]

What's the point of convincing your psychiatrist of whether you do or don't have ADHD?

Try some of the previous suggestions about managing ADHD symptoms as an adult. If it helps? Great. They would honestly help anyone willing to implement them.

Their diagnosis might get you a prescription... but I'm not sure that adults are even eligible to get prescription meds for ADHD. If you're looking for a specific therapy, then find another therapist.

[Anonymous]

Won’t hurt to get it checked out OP. I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until I was 37. I was so glad to have an answer for the strange symptoms I had been living with.