Mother with suspected ADD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the point of convincing your psychiatrist of whether you do or don't have ADHD?

Try some of the previous suggestions about managing ADHD symptoms as an adult. If it helps? Great. They would honestly help anyone willing to implement them.

Their diagnosis might get you a prescription... but I'm not sure that adults are even eligible to get prescription meds for ADHD. If you're looking for a specific therapy, then find another therapist.

Of course adults can get meds for ADHD! What does this even mean?! Please be careful about spreading misinformation and stigmatizing this condition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the point of convincing your psychiatrist of whether you do or don't have ADHD?

Try some of the previous suggestions about managing ADHD symptoms as an adult. If it helps? Great. They would honestly help anyone willing to implement them.

Their diagnosis might get you a prescription... but I'm not sure that adults are even eligible to get prescription meds for ADHD. If you're looking for a specific therapy, then find another therapist.

Also, OP doesn’t need to convince a psychiatrist she has ADHD. OP should seek help to see what might be causing the symptoms and have her doctors run tests to rule out something physical - and then possibly explore doing an assessment for ADHD or another condition. ADHD can severely impact someone’s life. If it turns out that she has it, her doctor can come up with some treatment options that may include meds, ADHD coaching, therapy etc.

[Anonymous]

OP, good luck! I hope you get a thorough work up from your doctor. If it turns out that you have ADHD, #ADHD on Twitter is very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the point of convincing your psychiatrist of whether you do or don't have ADHD?

Try some of the previous suggestions about managing ADHD symptoms as an adult. If it helps? Great. They would honestly help anyone willing to implement them.

Their diagnosis might get you a prescription... but I'm not sure that adults are even eligible to get prescription meds for ADHD. If you're looking for a specific therapy, then find another therapist.

Of course adults can take prescription meds for ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rather than focusing on dx or meds, focus on what you can do now to start fixing the problem.

Use a calendar app on your phone. It doesn’t matter how big or small the events are, how often they repeat. Set a default reminder time (mine is 15 minutes), so that you’ll have a reminder, even if you only make the event and get start time in before saving (usually happens for me, due to interruptions). I try to set up specific reminders too: bedtime has 15, 10, 5, 2 and 1 minute; going out the door has the same; and reminders before school and other events start 1.5-2 hours prior. There’s no way I would even try to navigate dl with 2+ kids without a calendar with reminders, it just wouldn’t happen.

Also, I highly recommend an Apple Watch. I get reminders from my calendar on my watch, without needing to have my phone out all day. Anything I need to remember that isn’t attached to an event or isn’t going to happen the same day, I just dictate a text to myself. Then, after kids are in bed, I transfer those texts into google calendar and my note pad.

Keep a routine going. It’s easier to get up at 4.30, 5.30, 6 everyday and enjoy time to yourself than to jump back and forth between 5 for school days, 6.30 on weekends and maybe 7 all summer. Do the same routine every morning before kids get up, no matter how large or small. I get up, toilet, shower (no hair) and brush my teeth and I’m in the kitchen within 10 minutes. I start every day with a smoothie of chia, a little Greek yogurt, a few seeds of nuts, spinach and a frozen berry or other strong fruit (apples and pears don’t work well). That finishes waking me up so I’m ready for kids. You may want coffee instead, or to shower after getting something to eat/drink. It doesn’t matter, just create a routine that works as time for yourself before kids are up.

Start each child on a list of chores, for your sanity. Your oldest is 8, but I don’t know old the others are. Anyone in first grade and up can be responsible for cleaning up and storing their own school supplies. They can be responsible for putting all their papers in their folder to put it away. They can be responsible for cleaning up their own clothes and toys and reminding younger kids to clean up theirs. They can bathe themselves when asked (though I agree that kids with long hair need help rinsing it). Look at it from this perspective: your kids can build self-independence while you focus more on keeping the house moving.

It’s hard enough to have several kids running every which way. It’s harder still if you don’t remember what child a told you two minutes ago. I get it. Just find the tools you need to be able to compensate and put your older kids in charge of as much of their own schedule and things as possible.

These are good tips but she should be looking for a provider who will treat her and get that squared away first. Without medication there is no way I could follow your advice here. It is completely overwhelming.

I’m a nanny, dx early 30s, no meds. These are some of the steps I’ve developed over the years to compensate.

I agree, if it’s severe, she may not be able to do any of them until she’s got the right rx. But if she had severe adhd, it likely would have been dxed before now.

[Anonymous]

I was diagnosed mid 30s after my first kid. I’d tried Zoloft for a few years and I was never sure it helped. My husband suggested I had ADHD, talked to my psychiatrist who gave me a questionnaire and I tried medication. For me medication (concerta) was like going to a yoga class. Everything calmed and felt clearer in a way that just made me able to catch my breath for a sec and not be so frazzled. I was surprised...I was always a stellar student and when I’d asked doctors about it historically it was dismissed. But I could never find anything, a fire marshal would have been horrified by my dorm room (and my close friends backed out of living with me because of it), I would do my homework over the course of the night in 10 min bursts etc. A job where I had to sit and listen and pay attention and a first child really meant I couldn’t keep it all in balance anymore but I wish I’d figured it out sooner. When I told my OB she said “that makes so much sense!”

I went off meds because I wanted a second child. Then we moved. When I decided I was ready try meds again after nursing I found a new doc. She gave me and my husband questionnaires and confirmed there diagnosis and I was still skeptical. I said “isn’t this just being busy?” I had to get an ekg to go on meds...my internist wasn’t available so I saw another doctor in the practice. She was a very petite woman in her 70s I’m guessing. She asked why I was there and I said I was considering meds for ADHD but I wasn’t sure since I kept thinking I should just be able to get my act together. She surprised me given her age / generation by saying “why not take medicine to help you when you’re at a very stressful and busy time in your life and try to manage without it when your kids are older if that’s still what you want?”

So, try asking some other doctors. They might have a better fit to recommend for you. I have realized what I thought for years was generalized anxiety was a side effect of ADHD. : “What if someone comes over in unannounced? Where are my (keys, shoes,...)? How / where should I start this project...?

Also medically I happened to have a very low resting heart rate (below 60) and I often needed a nap by mid afternoon. So worrying less makes me less exhausted and the slightly elevated (about 60 now) heart rate have been fine.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I thought the same thing about myself. In most cases of ADD, the problems are worst in childhood and get better in early adulthood. The symptoms of ADD can get confused with those of anxiety (particularly in my case!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I thought the same thing about myself. In most cases of ADD, the problems are worst in childhood and get better in early adulthood. The symptoms of ADD can get confused with those of anxiety (particularly in my case!)

This is what people used to think, perhaps because you used to have to have hyperactivity to get dxed. And that does get easier for adults.

I have inattentive type and between that and hyperfocus (that is a common symptom of ADHD), I did great when I had a career well suited to my quirks. When I left that career to do something else, everything changed.

Now I take medication for ADHD. Most of my cousins - my generation - still take meds for ADHD and we are in our 30s and 40s.

[Anonymous]

If I needed something to convince me that there are people who truly are misinformed about ADD, this thread is it! Can't take meds for it as an adult?! Had to be diagnosed as a child?! It breaks my heart to think that there are parents out there parenting with such ignorance.

[Anonymous]

I have lived with ADD and was able to overcompensate for a long time, but had to work hard. I’m a competitive person, so I was ok with taking the SAT 3 times so I could get into the school I wanted, etc. I sort of secretly felt something was wrong with me though. Like life was so easy for everyone else and I wasn’t “really” smart. Once I had more than one kid, it was clear I had something going on. I haven’t been able to work out a perfect medication situation for every day, but I take meds occasionally and they help in some ways. Just knowing that my brain is a little different is helpful though, and I feel like I can look at my coping mechanisms more strategically now.