Dating a single parent im

[Anonymous]

Im dating a single parent. He has 50/50 custody. Now he's proposing dates when he has the kids and getting a babysitter. Is that weird or show he's a bad dad?

[Anonymous]

Red flag. I can’t imagine giving up any of my time with my children.

- divorced parent

[Anonymous]

Red flag. He can date you on the 50% he is childless. Once you’ve met the child, maybe you spend some of his child time with them both, but unless you’re married and there’s a special occasion, he needs to keep his time.

[Anonymous]

I think it's more nuanced than that. How old are the kids and how frequently is he doing this? Are they little kids that go to bed at 8 and he proposes a date at 8:30 so they would be sleeping anyways?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more nuanced than that. How old are the kids and how frequently is he doing this? Are they little kids that go to bed at 8 and he proposes a date at 8:30 so they would be sleeping anyways?

This.

I think it could be in some ways a good sign. It means if you get into a relationship you probably will get to see him more than you would if he refused to ever hire a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more nuanced than that. How old are the kids and how frequently is he doing this? Are they little kids that go to bed at 8 and he proposes a date at 8:30 so they would be sleeping anyways?

This.

I think it could be in some ways a good sign. It means if you get into a relationship you probably will get to see him more than you would if he refused to ever hire a babysitter.

He's going to have them for about a week and a half right now. But in general he's brought up using a babysitter so we can see each other more.

[Anonymous]

Maybe there is another woman during his non-kid time and he needs to keep it free for her. Very weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe there is another woman during his non-kid time and he needs to keep it free for her. Very weird.

We've been dating for a couple of months now.

[Anonymous]

I think it speaks well of you that you're concerned instead of just trying to spend as much time with him as possible with no thought for the kids.

If there wasn't a pandemic going on and the occasion was for something that rarely comes along like a concert for a favorite band, it makes sense.

Otherwise, he should spend his weeks with the kids with them, unless it is the scenario outlined above where they are little and go to bed early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more nuanced than that. How old are the kids and how frequently is he doing this? Are they little kids that go to bed at 8 and he proposes a date at 8:30 so they would be sleeping anyways?

This.

I think it could be in some ways a good sign. It means if you get into a relationship you probably will get to see him more than you would if he refused to ever hire a babysitter.

+1. WTF. Are only married people allowed to hire babysitters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it speaks well of you that you're concerned instead of just trying to spend as much time with him as possible with no thought for the kids.

If there wasn't a pandemic going on and the occasion was for something that rarely comes along like a concert for a favorite band, it makes sense.

Otherwise, he should spend his weeks with the kids with them, unless it is the scenario outlined above where they are little and go to bed early.

They're two and five years old, so little kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more nuanced than that. How old are the kids and how frequently is he doing this? Are they little kids that go to bed at 8 and he proposes a date at 8:30 so they would be sleeping anyways?

I was a single mom and did this. The kids went to bed at 7:30 and I left at 8pm.

[Anonymous]

What is he proposing for dates? A 2 and 5 year old likely have an early bedtime. Hiring a sitter to come at 7pm is very different than hiring a sitter to come at noon.

[Anonymous]

How deep are you concerned? Are you going to be suggesting he go home at 11pm so he has energy for the kids in the am? If you don't have a sense that he is a decent guy after a few months, maybe you need to pass. I think you are reaching on this one. Do you need an excuse to not like him? It's okay if you just don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is he proposing for dates? A 2 and 5 year old likely have an early bedtime. Hiring a sitter to come at 7pm is very different than hiring a sitter to come at noon.

Like an early dinner. So it's probably a few hours of babysitter time. The thing is I think he likes seeing me a few times a week so wans to move tbjngs up more in how often we see each other. Just feels odd he'd get a babysitter and pick me over his kids.