so frustrating when dh can't perform when its go time

[Anonymous]

I know its not his fault and is common

I try to keep things feeling as spontaneous and fun as we can

I don't put pressure on him or express frustration or disappointment to him afterward

But every month this happens and another month slips by, its so frustrating

Just a vent

[Anonymous]

Are there issues other times?

[Anonymous]

Tell him to pretend you are his coworker or your best friend or your sister or something.

(Him: “yeah but I already do that.”)

[Anonymous]

Ditto. It’s hard not to get frustrated.

[Anonymous]

Viagra

[Anonymous]

Dies he really want to conceive right now?

The one thing I surfaced in therapy with my first H was that his performance issues when we were newlyweds had to do with the disconnect between his verbally stated goal of starting a family immediately and his real feelings. When 9/11 happened and we agreed to delay, his ED miraculously improved. I always thought it was an attraction to a coworker. He says it was the baby making.

[Anonymous]

We were doing infertility treatments so my husband clearly knew we were trying and the rough timing. I knew exact timing of ovulation but never told him “this is when we HAVE to do it.” I tried to make things interesting and spontaneous so we both had fun and he wasn’t experiencing the pressure of scheduled sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were doing infertility treatments so my husband clearly knew we were trying and the rough timing. I knew exact timing of ovulation but never told him “this is when we HAVE to do it.” I tried to make things interesting and spontaneous so we both had fun and he wasn’t experiencing the pressure of scheduled sex.

That does not equate to his being all in (in more ways than one).

[Anonymous]

Just don't tell him you are ovulating. Is that possible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were doing infertility treatments so my husband clearly knew we were trying and the rough timing. I knew exact timing of ovulation but never told him “this is when we HAVE to do it.” I tried to make things interesting and spontaneous so we both had fun and he wasn’t experiencing the pressure of scheduled sex.

That does not equate to his being all in (in more ways than one).

PP -- I may have misunderstood what you were getting it. You mean that you didn't tell him this was the moment of ovulation? Pretty sure he wasn't fooled into thinking it was actually uscheduled.

[Anonymous]

Bringing someone else in his head.

[Anonymous]

Don't forget sperm can live for five days so you can try over a few days!!

[Anonymous]

Yes my husband has NEVER had an issue in 12 years together except the two times we were TTC.

[Anonymous]

Just have sex 2 - 3 times a week and don’t discuss fertility or timing. YOU might know but he doesn’t need to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just have sex 2 - 3 times a week and don’t discuss fertility or timing. YOU might know but he doesn’t need to know.

+1