It's official: Gen Z are not delaying marriage til 30s anymore, young weddings are cool again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for everyone commenting, the conclusion that marrying in your 20s is superior but it's hard to find a good partner.

It’s widely covered in media that dating as adults is MUCH harder than it used to be, and that dating apps are almost corrosive in the effort to get married.

If you want a serious partner, Princeton mom was right: college is the time to find that life mate. There will be no other time when you can date with less risk (like dating your coworker or neighbor), and high quality curated partners. Maybe grad school is a bit better but GenZ got the memo — settle down in college or look for a decade or more in the dating desert.

+1

I disagree. It’s true there are a lot of single prospects at college, but there’s some risk to marrying someone at that age. Most people don’t know who they are at that age or what they want. Plenty of men end up with alcohol problems that looks like regular college age drinking at the time. If you end up divorced you have baggage and then are later judged for a failed marriage. If you’re a confident, smart woman you don’t need to settle down at that age over the fear you might not find someone.

But I’m a happily married woman who could also be happy single. I have a great career and hobbies. I don’t need marriage and kids to be happy. If it’s your end all he all then yes make sure to have a ring on your finger when you graduate undergrad.

The thing is I knew women who were super focused on trying to find a husband in college and in many cases I think it backfired a bit.

I met my now husband in college but part of what made our relationship work is we were both super focused on our goals. So a lot of time we spent together was literally just studying. We supported each other through our respective grad schools. He quizzed me for the bar, I proofread his thesis.

Never sacrifice your own identity for a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gen Zs aren’t even 30 yet, this seems like putting the cart before the horse. There have always been people who got married at 16-23. Just because it happens doesn’t mean it’s the norm.

If you have a Gen Z daughter or niece ask her what her and her friends think of Sex and the City. They will say the women look super old and it’s so sad and gross they’re all single, partying, and hooking up with randoms. Most Gen Z girlies want to be married with a house by 25. That is a real pivot from what Gen X and Y trends.

Was this ever aspirational, though? I was in college during SATC’s heyday and while my friends and I loved the show and were entertaining by it, none of us actually wanted that kind of life for ourselves. We all married between 24-28, most of us have grad degrees and careers in addition to happy marriages with kids.

Delaying marriage, birth control, delaying kids, abortion, promiscuity and hookup culture, undergrad + advanced degrees (fertility prime in academia), being an independent woman, being a girl boss, child free DINK lifestyle, career and office being your "family" has been the corporate and pop culture propaganda pushed on western men and women for the last 35 years. Theme of most prestige TV shows, movies, music, magazines, and social media. Really kicked into gear in the early 90s, ex. "Murphy Brown" in 1992 became a middle aged girl boss single mom.

What exactly is wrong with independence, birth control, and education?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for everyone commenting, the conclusion that marrying in your 20s is superior but it's hard to find a good partner.

It’s widely covered in media that dating as adults is MUCH harder than it used to be, and that dating apps are almost corrosive in the effort to get married.

If you want a serious partner, Princeton mom was right: college is the time to find that life mate. There will be no other time when you can date with less risk (like dating your coworker or neighbor), and high quality curated partners. Maybe grad school is a bit better but GenZ got the memo — settle down in college or look for a decade or more in the dating desert.

+1

I disagree. It’s true there are a lot of single prospects at college, but there’s some risk to marrying someone at that age. Most people don’t know who they are at that age or what they want. Plenty of men end up with alcohol problems that looks like regular college age drinking at the time. If you end up divorced you have baggage and then are later judged for a failed marriage. If you’re a confident, smart woman you don’t need to settle down at that age over the fear you might not find someone.

But I’m a happily married woman who could also be happy single. I have a great career and hobbies. I don’t need marriage and kids to be happy. If it’s your end all he all then yes make sure to have a ring on your finger when you graduate undergrad.

The thing is I knew women who were super focused on trying to find a husband in college and in many cases I think it backfired a bit.

I met my now husband in college but part of what made our relationship work is we were both super focused on our goals. So a lot of time we spent together was literally just studying. We supported each other through our respective grad schools. He quizzed me for the bar, I proofread his thesis.

Never sacrifice your own identity for a relationship.

I didn’t know anyone “super focused” on finding a husband in college.

Some people met their future spouse but no one was on the hunt.

Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The millennial Fox News gal just announced she has cancer at 36. This is why young people need to have kids in their 20s. Everyone is going to get cancer. Life is fragile. Don’t waste it dating around and being handcuffed to your job.

“Fox News gal” tells us everything we need to know about the probirther nuts on this thread.

[Anonymous]

I mean my mom's best friend who died of Leukemia at 32, six months after her second kid was born. And everyone tried to help but her older son would rage about his mom being gone. The dad struggled too.

If you thought you were going to die why in earth would you want that for a potential kid? Why would you want that for your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean my mom's best friend who died of Leukemia at 32, six months after her second kid was born. And everyone tried to help but her older son would rage about his mom being gone. The dad struggled too.

If you thought you were going to die why in earth would you want that for a potential kid? Why would you want that for your spouse?

Exactly. There are some truly unhinged and selfish fools on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean my mom's best friend who died of Leukemia at 32, six months after her second kid was born. And everyone tried to help but her older son would rage about his mom being gone. The dad struggled too.

If you thought you were going to die why in earth would you want that for a potential kid? Why would you want that for your spouse?

Exactly. There are some truly unhinged and selfish fools on this thread.

To be clear my mom's best friend had no idea she was going to die. She suddenly had bruising on her arms when her baby was 4 months old and was gone 2 months later. This was the early 80s and treatments weren'tas good. But I'm just pointing out that having babies young because you might get cancer and die in your 30s is deranged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for everyone commenting, the conclusion that marrying in your 20s is superior but it's hard to find a good partner.

It’s widely covered in media that dating as adults is MUCH harder than it used to be, and that dating apps are almost corrosive in the effort to get married.

If you want a serious partner, Princeton mom was right: college is the time to find that life mate. There will be no other time when you can date with less risk (like dating your coworker or neighbor), and high quality curated partners. Maybe grad school is a bit better but GenZ got the memo — settle down in college or look for a decade or more in the dating desert.

+1

I disagree. It’s true there are a lot of single prospects at college, but there’s some risk to marrying someone at that age. Most people don’t know who they are at that age or what they want. Plenty of men end up with alcohol problems that looks like regular college age drinking at the time. If you end up divorced you have baggage and then are later judged for a failed marriage. If you’re a confident, smart woman you don’t need to settle down at that age over the fear you might not find someone.

But I’m a happily married woman who could also be happy single. I have a great career and hobbies. I don’t need marriage and kids to be happy. If it’s your end all he all then yes make sure to have a ring on your finger when you graduate undergrad.

You can be an independent and successful young woman AND have the confidence to know if someone is right for you to build a happier life together. These things aren't mutually exclusive. Gen Z seems less interested into alcohol, hookups and swiping relationship apps than millennials were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean my mom's best friend who died of Leukemia at 32, six months after her second kid was born. And everyone tried to help but her older son would rage about his mom being gone. The dad struggled too.

If you thought you were going to die why in earth would you want that for a potential kid? Why would you want that for your spouse?

Sweetheart, nobody knows when they’ll get cancer, die, or become infertile. But at least your alleged best friend left behind heirs. That’s why a spouse, life insurance, family and God parents are important. Washington is full of men and women who waited too long to find a spouse and have kids that they will simply die alone with no heirs. Genetic dead-ends nobody will remember.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for everyone commenting, the conclusion that marrying in your 20s is superior but it's hard to find a good partner.

It’s widely covered in media that dating as adults is MUCH harder than it used to be, and that dating apps are almost corrosive in the effort to get married.

If you want a serious partner, Princeton mom was right: college is the time to find that life mate. There will be no other time when you can date with less risk (like dating your coworker or neighbor), and high quality curated partners. Maybe grad school is a bit better but GenZ got the memo — settle down in college or look for a decade or more in the dating desert.

+1

I disagree. It’s true there are a lot of single prospects at college, but there’s some risk to marrying someone at that age. Most people don’t know who they are at that age or what they want. Plenty of men end up with alcohol problems that looks like regular college age drinking at the time. If you end up divorced you have baggage and then are later judged for a failed marriage. If you’re a confident, smart woman you don’t need to settle down at that age over the fear you might not find someone.

But I’m a happily married woman who could also be happy single. I have a great career and hobbies. I don’t need marriage and kids to be happy. If it’s your end all he all then yes make sure to have a ring on your finger when you graduate undergrad.

The thing is I knew women who were super focused on trying to find a husband in college and in many cases I think it backfired a bit.

I met my now husband in college but part of what made our relationship work is we were both super focused on our goals. So a lot of time we spent together was literally just studying. We supported each other through our respective grad schools. He quizzed me for the bar, I proofread his thesis.

Never sacrifice your own identity for a relationship.

I didn’t know anyone “super focused” on finding a husband in college.

Some people met their future spouse but no one was on the hunt.

Weird.

Agreed. By default college age young people date each other and many of those dates lead to relationships, out of which some last and others don't. If they were young farmers picking apples together, at that age outcomes would be the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The millennial Fox News gal just announced she has cancer at 36. This is why young people need to have kids in their 20s. Everyone is going to get cancer. Life is fragile. Don’t waste it dating around and being handcuffed to your job.

Yeah, f*** your higher education or job, just start popping out babies asap!!!11!!! 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gen Zs aren’t even 30 yet, this seems like putting the cart before the horse. There have always been people who got married at 16-23. Just because it happens doesn’t mean it’s the norm.

If you have a Gen Z daughter or niece ask her what her and her friends think of Sex and the City. They will say the women look super old and it’s so sad and gross they’re all single, partying, and hooking up with randoms. Most Gen Z girlies want to be married with a house by 25. That is a real pivot from what Gen X and Y trends.

Was this ever aspirational, though? I was in college during SATC’s heyday and while my friends and I loved the show and were entertaining by it, none of us actually wanted that kind of life for ourselves. We all married between 24-28, most of us have grad degrees and careers in addition to happy marriages with kids.

Delaying marriage, birth control, delaying kids, abortion, promiscuity and hookup culture, undergrad + advanced degrees (fertility prime in academia), being an independent woman, being a girl boss, child free DINK lifestyle, career and office being your "family" has been the corporate and pop culture propaganda pushed on western men and women for the last 35 years. Theme of most prestige TV shows, movies, music, magazines, and social media. Really kicked into gear in the early 90s, ex. "Murphy Brown" in 1992 became a middle aged girl boss single mom.

What exactly is wrong with independence, birth control, and education?

Our friends who married right after undergrad don’t lack academic credentials or professional success. This notion you have to postpone the most important milestones in life (marriage, kids) to earn an MBA and rise the corporate ladder has always been absurd.

[Anonymous]

What holds women back are kids, good partners can be a strength. They can be each other's support system and have more focus on goals than hooking up at bars or mopping for not finding decent people on apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for everyone commenting, the conclusion that marrying in your 20s is superior but it's hard to find a good partner.

It’s widely covered in media that dating as adults is MUCH harder than it used to be, and that dating apps are almost corrosive in the effort to get married.

If you want a serious partner, Princeton mom was right: college is the time to find that life mate. There will be no other time when you can date with less risk (like dating your coworker or neighbor), and high quality curated partners. Maybe grad school is a bit better but GenZ got the memo — settle down in college or look for a decade or more in the dating desert.

+1

I disagree. It’s true there are a lot of single prospects at college, but there’s some risk to marrying someone at that age. Most people don’t know who they are at that age or what they want. Plenty of men end up with alcohol problems that looks like regular college age drinking at the time. If you end up divorced you have baggage and then are later judged for a failed marriage. If you’re a confident, smart woman you don’t need to settle down at that age over the fear you might not find someone.

But I’m a happily married woman who could also be happy single. I have a great career and hobbies. I don’t need marriage and kids to be happy. If it’s your end all he all then yes make sure to have a ring on your finger when you graduate undergrad.

You can be an independent and successful young woman AND have the confidence to know if someone is right for you to build a happier life together. These things aren't mutually exclusive. Gen Z seems less interested into alcohol, hookups and swiping relationship apps than millennials were.

Alcohol yes, but hookups and dating apps are still super popular. They aren’t going out to bars and meeting people naturally, they are absolutely using apps etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for everyone commenting, the conclusion that marrying in your 20s is superior but it's hard to find a good partner.

It’s widely covered in media that dating as adults is MUCH harder than it used to be, and that dating apps are almost corrosive in the effort to get married.

If you want a serious partner, Princeton mom was right: college is the time to find that life mate. There will be no other time when you can date with less risk (like dating your coworker or neighbor), and high quality curated partners. Maybe grad school is a bit better but GenZ got the memo — settle down in college or look for a decade or more in the dating desert.

+1

I disagree. It’s true there are a lot of single prospects at college, but there’s some risk to marrying someone at that age. Most people don’t know who they are at that age or what they want. Plenty of men end up with alcohol problems that looks like regular college age drinking at the time. If you end up divorced you have baggage and then are later judged for a failed marriage. If you’re a confident, smart woman you don’t need to settle down at that age over the fear you might not find someone.

But I’m a happily married woman who could also be happy single. I have a great career and hobbies. I don’t need marriage and kids to be happy. If it’s your end all he all then yes make sure to have a ring on your finger when you graduate undergrad.

The thing is I knew women who were super focused on trying to find a husband in college and in many cases I think it backfired a bit.

I met my now husband in college but part of what made our relationship work is we were both super focused on our goals. So a lot of time we spent together was literally just studying. We supported each other through our respective grad schools. He quizzed me for the bar, I proofread his thesis.

Never sacrifice your own identity for a relationship.

I didn’t know anyone “super focused” on finding a husband in college.

Some people met their future spouse but no one was on the hunt.

Weird.

Your POV is clearly biased and skewed. I don’t care when you went to college–an Ivy or a tailgate state in the 80s, 90s, or 00s–many of your male and female classmates were mindful of finding a future spouse. I’m sorry your parents didn’t encourage you to do the same, so now you seek out threads on young love with seething resentment and disinformation.