Questions for HYPSM alumni

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think he was right or wrong that Columbia was a good place for you and your brother? Does Columbia have these final clubs and were you in one?

My father was rarely right about anything. His Asberger’s just made him inscrutable. Columbia was a great place for me. Yes, unlike my father, I joined the clubs his ancestors had (my brother did not and returned out west after graduation).

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Ok clear this up for me. Are these socities for rich people or elite people? Those are not the same thing.

Elite people. Old families, even if the families are no longer rich or never were. I’m relatively well off but I wouldn’t say I’m rich. My father was rich, but not as rich as my grandfather, who was not as rich as my great grandfather. In another branch of my family, my great grandmother endowed a chair at Columbia. No way that I, my father, or even my grandfather could have done that. My family has been downwardly mobile for generations but we still get into the same clubs we always have. Our children are still invited to cotillion. Even the daughters of branches of my family that never had money are debutantes and social belles. My father was very conflicted about all that. I could never tell where his head was at on that subject.

This is an interesting and educational discussion for a public school mongrel like myself.. What was the cause of you Dad's conflict? He was conflicted about all of it, or just that the part of the family with the breeding and not the money were still invited to cotillion?

You’re question is too binary. I really never understood my father’s conflict. He moved out west to get away from his family. His family had always joined private clubs and were high ranking Freemasons. My father wanted none of that. But sometimes it was as if another person appeared and he would talk of his family’s old traditions with pride. It’s just not explainable. Most people thought my father’s idiosyncrasies were caused by the death of his mother when he was six and his father’s second marriage to the classic wicked stepmother. But now we all agree that my father had Asberger’s, as does my son. Their behavior is often not logically explicable.

How did they achieve high ranking as freemasons? Were they born to that or they produced certain accomplishments?

Darned if I know. Neither my father nor I ever joined the Freemasons. I had a lot of Freemason friends and cousins in New York and attended functions. I planned on joining but those plans got scuppered when I moved to D.C.

What is wrong with the dc freemasons?

Nothing’s wrong with the D.C. Masons. They have a lovely pyramid. But it’s not the Lodge my family had always belonged to and I had no cousins there so I never ended up joining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elite has different meanings to different people. Thank you for explaining what the word means to you and what it means in terms of an "elite" frat.

Think of it this way: People who are listed as members of Forbes 500 richest are rich but that’s no indication whatsoever that they’re elite. Men who belong to the Club of Cincinnati are elite but they might be poor as church mice.

Right. It’s like the young couple walking in London. The young man, hoping to impress his lady with his knowledge of society walks up to a beggar and asks him “why are you wearing an old Eton tie?” The beggar answers “because I can’t afford to buy a new one.”

[Anonymous]

Do many colleges have societies for the pedigreed kids or is it an ivy league phenonem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do many colleges have societies for the pedigreed kids or is it an ivy league phenonem?

That’s a complicated question. How do you define “many”? It tends to be an Ivy (and Little Three) thing. Here’s the deal: When most colleges close a frat that’s the end of the frat at that college. Elite frats at the Ivies are immortal. If the college closes it, it remains as an elite social club. When Harvard closed Alpha Delta Phi, it remained as two social clubs, Fly and A.D. When Williams closed its frats, St. A’s remained under the radar. At most colleges, a frat is a frat is a frat. Different at the Ivies. For example, at Yale, Alpha Delta Phi has traditionally been a feeder for Skull & Bones.

[Anonymous]

If some of the eligible students are not interested in participating, are subs brought in or does the club just get bigger or smaller depending on the interest level and number of eligible students in any particular class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If some of the eligible students are not interested in participating, are subs brought in or does the club just get bigger or smaller depending on the interest level and number of eligible students in any particular class?

There’s NEVER a lack of interest in joining these clubs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If some of the eligible students are not interested in participating, are subs brought in or does the club just get bigger or smaller depending on the interest level and number of eligible students in any particular class?

There’s NEVER a lack of interest in joining these clubs.

No idea. A poster on here said that his parent and brother were not interested.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If some of the eligible students are not interested in participating, are subs brought in or does the club just get bigger or smaller depending on the interest level and number of eligible students in any particular class?

There’s NEVER a lack of interest in joining these clubs.

No idea. A poster on here said that his parent and brother were not interested.

I said that. My father and brother weren’t interested. That’s two people. Tons of others were interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do many colleges have societies for the pedigreed kids or is it an ivy league phenonem?

At SEC sororities, being a legacy helps you in getting a spot at a top house.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Do many colleges have societies for the pedigreed kids or is it an ivy league phenonem?

At SEC sororities, being a legacy helps you in getting a spot at a top house.

Being a legacy is a big help in joining the Ivy clubs. The Bushes were all Skull & Bones.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If some of the eligible students are not interested in participating, are subs brought in or does the club just get bigger or smaller depending on the interest level and number of eligible students in any particular class?

There’s NEVER a lack of interest in joining these clubs.

No idea. A poster on here said that his parent and brother were not interested.

I said that. My father and brother weren’t interested. That’s two people. Tons of others were interested.

Us poorly bred mongrels out here have no way to determine that your kin were such outliers. you speak as if you know about these clubs when in fact - your experience is atypical.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do many colleges have societies for the pedigreed kids or is it an ivy league phenonem?

At SEC sororities, being a legacy helps you in getting a spot at a top house.

Being a legacy is a big help in joining the Ivy clubs. The Bushes were all Skull & Bones.

The Roosevelts were all Alpha Delta Phi. When Harvard closed Alpha Delta Phi, they helped found Fly.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If some of the eligible students are not interested in participating, are subs brought in or does the club just get bigger or smaller depending on the interest level and number of eligible students in any particular class?

There’s NEVER a lack of interest in joining these clubs.

No idea. A poster on here said that his parent and brother were not interested.

I said that. My father and brother weren’t interested. That’s two people. Tons of others were interested.

Us poorly bred mongrels out here have no way to determine that your kin were such outliers. you speak as if you know about these clubs when in fact - your experience is atypical.

By any rational measurement, my father was and my brother is an outlier.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my undergrad and grad credentials continue to impress people. I’m more than 20 years out and (other) people bring it up in a professional context. I never bring it up. I actually find it somewhat annoying since at 20 years out my accomplishments should stand for themselves, but big names continue to have some sort of impact (I’ve gotten negative comments, too).

I was a first generation student at HYP but I married someone who is a longtime family legacy - like his family have been going to the same HYP school since the 1800s. So we come at our view of sending our kids from different angles, but we both really hope our kids are able to be admitted and attend HYP. But if they don’t, that’s fine, I guess they can attend Stanford or MIT.