Teachers: It’s mid-March. Please spell my child’s name correctly already!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to live in a Spanish speaking country and I have an English name that is so hard for Spanish speakers to pronounce. I understood that they were doing their best. It wasn’t a micro aggression against me. Many of them would use the coordinating Spanish name instead of my own. I was also fine with that. Sometimes we just need to have some flexibility with people.

Good example!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love teachers, and I know it’s been a long, hard year so far. I know my kid’s “foreign” name is not one you’re used to. But it’s mid-March! Can you spell the name correctly already?!? It means a lot to my child and when you get it wrong, they think you don’t care enough to try to get it right, no matter how much I try to reassure them.

Thanks for listening and maybe being a tiny bit more careful.

It's a part of life and tell her not to get upset about it. I'm an adult and I have people spell my name like this:

Michelle
Michele
Michell
Mitchell
Michael

and so on.

Most often in emails that automatically include my name in the signature and as the sender.

If a surprisingly high percentage of people can't even get Michelle right then there is basically no hope for any other names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a trans person, I can tell you that it absolutely is a big deal for you to get my name right. I am fine with honest mistakes, but if you've been corrected a couple of times and are still getting it wrong, I interpret it as hostility.

I don't understand this idea that you get to tell me what is or isn't a big deal. Your life is not mine.

Names are vital parts of identities. When you're someone who is frequently deadnamed, or you're made fun of for having an ethnic name, it matters. Most people commenting have no idea what it's like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a trans person, I can tell you that it absolutely is a big deal for you to get my name right. I am fine with honest mistakes, but if you've been corrected a couple of times and are still getting it wrong, I interpret it as hostility.

I don't understand this idea that you get to tell me what is or isn't a big deal. Your life is not mine.

Names are vital parts of identities. When you're someone who is frequently deadnamed, or you're made fun of for having an ethnic name, it matters. Most people commenting have no idea what it's like.

I think most people commenting here have said it happens to them often too. You can continue to get mad about something that is going to keep happening or you can learn to live with it. I have a basic, boring common name and people misspell it all the time. Many people just can't spell for shit.

[Anonymous]

A very occasional mistake in pronunciation is excusable. Misspelling a students name, is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A name is identity. Would you be okay with deadnaming a trans kid because it is "minor?"

Maybe it isn't important to YOU, and for you it's a minor thing, but for some people it absolutely isn't.

+1

No what I am saying is teachers are human and make mistakes. My daughter 8 weeks into term was called a totally different name. Think Abigail instead of Charlotte and kept insisting she was Abigail. Did I tell my dd it was because her teacher didnt like her? No, I told her it meant her teacher had over 500 kids.

My name is always always misspelled. It means nothing. Tell your kid to politely correct and move on.

I'm usually accused of being a teacher apologist on this board, but seriously, "human and make mistakes?" It's almost April. If you can't learn your students' names and correct your "mistake" in nine months, you're not making enough of an effort.

[Anonymous]

Oh, please. Stop with the "I'm Sarah and they spell is Sara and I'm fine!" nonsense. You don't have the experience of kids who dread the first day of school because the teachers say "Jada...Jadar...Jadaray...HAHAHAHA I DON'T EVEN KNOW!" If the teacher can't make the effort to figure this out by March, that's pathetic.

My nephews go to school in a deep south state where a few years ago, a gigantic Hindu temple was built smack dab in the middle of their white-bread, heavily Christian suburban neighborhood, on the same street as the middle and high schools Tons of families have moved into the community surrounding the temple and the schools' demographics changed drastically. Their classes went from being full of nothing but "Austins" and "Tylers" to Gaganasindhu and Aadilakshmi, etc.

You know what the school did? They didn't throw up their hands and say "oh, well, I can't spell your name, so sorry." The teachers made the effort and learned. At the end of year awards ceremony, kids from that community spend time with the administrators who are reading the names and help them spell them out phonetically so they can pronounce them correctly when their parents are there to celebrate their kid's success.

It can be done. Instead of being dismissive, try harder.

[Anonymous]

I’m a teacher. Can YOU get my name correct please? I understand I have a long ethnic last name but you can’t just say f!ck it and call me Mrs. P. It isn’t cute, it is lazy and disrespectful. I rather you ask how to pronounce it every time I see you or you say it incorrectly and I nicely correct you. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a trans person, I can tell you that it absolutely is a big deal for you to get my name right. I am fine with honest mistakes, but if you've been corrected a couple of times and are still getting it wrong, I interpret it as hostility.

I don't understand this idea that you get to tell me what is or isn't a big deal. Your life is not mine.

Names are vital parts of identities. When you're someone who is frequently deadnamed, or you're made fun of for having an ethnic name, it matters. Most people commenting have no idea what it's like.

I think most people commenting here have said it happens to them often too. You can continue to get mad about something that is going to keep happening or you can learn to live with it. I have a basic, boring common name and people misspell it all the time. Many people just can't spell for shit.

It's one thing for an adult who has dealt with the name issue for a long time and quite another for a child who feels upset that her teacher still can't get her name right in March. I've had 40 years to deal with my ethnic, weirdly spelled name. I have a mental file box in my head of all the questions and mispronunciations as well as my explanations, quips and cultural lessons around my name. I use it as an ice breaker and conversation starter. Most people learn to pronounce and spell my name correctly from me. We laugh at the funny ways it has been butchered. As a child, I felt humiliated especially when kids would say, "what kind of name is that?!".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want that level of individualized attention, go private.

Ffs, a teacher should be intelligent and capable enough to learn a child's name!

FFS, if it's that important to you, choose a simple name with a simple spelling.

Yep, you did this. They will have this problem their ENTIRE life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want that level of individualized attention, go private.

Ffs, a teacher should be intelligent and capable enough to learn a child's name!

FFS, if it's that important to you, choose a simple name with a simple spelling.

Yep, you did this. They will have this problem their ENTIRE life

Well, Jane, ops kid will have a cool name her whole life. You'll just be plain jane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want that level of individualized attention, go private.

Ffs, a teacher should be intelligent and capable enough to learn a child's name!

FFS, if it's that important to you, choose a simple name with a simple spelling.

Yep, you did this. They will have this problem their ENTIRE life

Well, Jane, ops kid will have a cool name her whole life. You'll just be plain jane.

If it's so cool, then stop getting upset if it's mispronounced or misspelled.

[Anonymous]

Thanks OP for this reminder.

I’m a teacher and there a boy in my class who has entirely too many vowels in his name, and I admit to misspelling it.

I just put a post it note with his name on my computer and have vowed to get it right.

In my defense I will say that he also constantly misspells his name but he is only 7!

[Anonymous]

This entire discussion should be on the expectant parents board. Why name your child something that sets them up for this?

[Anonymous]

My DH misspells my name all the time. Think Michelle vs Michele. At a certain point, what can you do.